HELLO 2012!


My first entry for 2012! When was the last time I blog? I think it was on the last day of 2011! Time flies and my blog is getting really dusty. I wonder if any of my friends still read it. Perhaps not!


This blog is where all my memories are. And it is the place where I type my thoughts out.


I've been feeling a little down at times. I guess it's probably due to the "snowballing" effect. Snowballing effect is bad! Yes, it's bad for you. Sometimes you will just start thinking of all those things in the past and then relate it with the current situation and then... BAM! You go berserk! ...due to the snowballing effect! It happens because it's been happening for a period of time. I need to learn to let it go to be able to break from this snowballing effect thing! Ughhhh!


Other than that, all is good I guess? Can't believe my three years of Polytechnic life has more or less come to an end! My graduation ceremony is next month! My oh my. Three years past really fast! Time flies before you know it!


I'll probably need to find a new interest as I've been a little idle at times and restless. Some of my friends got enrolled into university. I'm happy for them. As for me, maybe I should work part-time then maybe take some classes or something? I have not decided what field do I want to work in but I can say... Definitely not programming!


Designing? Hmm, I'm not too sure. After what I have been through during internship, it makes me think again if I really want that for long term.


Oh well! At the end of the day, I will eventually step into the working world.


Looking back at my life, I have a lot of what ifs thought yesterday evening. I was talking with my brother and I asked him "Have you ever thought... Well, let's say "WHAT IF" you have taken a different path, how would your life be? Where do you think you are right now?"


I asked myself that question too. I wonder how will it be like if I had not taken this path. Will it be better or will it be worse than I thought? There are a lot of possibilities and we don't know our future. My brother's response to that question was "In life, yes we make mistakes but if we always feel we regret this and that you can never move on. You will always look back in the past and not make things happen for you".


What a wise boy my brother is. Well, fair play to him. Yes. Sometimes it is not worth to regret on something we did in the past. We have to move on and be a stronger person. However, as we know we are only human, the feeling is just so strong at times. I guess this is where psychologically we have to be strong. Everyone make mistakes but I guess the key to becoming a successful and better person is learn from it and not repeat it.



I look back at the things I've gone through - the things I experienced, the people I have met and all. Then there is this thought in my mind. The thought of which I sometimes wish I hadn't done so and so but hey, here I am today. I am a Diploma graduate. I admit I was really playful and not very serious with my studies when I was in Primary 6. I remember some friends sort of suggested that if I ever get into Institute of Technical Education (ITE) and get a National Institute of Technical Education (NITEC) that means I am lucky.


I will always remember those words. I never doubt myself. I am not dumb. I was probably lazy and my Mother Tongue (Chinese) and Mathematics were poor. I was really poor in those two subjects.


When I was in Secondary School, I then begin to be more serious. I must admit, I don't think I am very hardworking. I am not someone who will study one-two months before my examinations. I always study like two weeks or so before examinations. Sometimes a week before it!


I didn't like some of my classmates. I kind of hated them. Perhaps to some, they see those classmates of mine as being funny or something like that which I never understood in what way were they funny. Honestly speaking, I find them very annoying and to me, they are "wannabe" bullies.


They like to tease me sometimes and like to take my stationery. Obviously, I got mad because they take my stationery without permission. They are not those who would return and I feel they lack manners. Some think I am just overreacting over a small issue. I don't know how they look at it as but in my view, I feel that is rude. Perhaps it is the way one is brought up. I don't know. *shrugs*


I talk to them quite coldly. The reason is simple - Like I mentioned above. I don't like them. One may think I am arrogant. Perhaps I am, but I am only arrogant towards such people. To those who know me, I always try to help them whenever they need help in their subjects. I wonder if people do acknowledge that. I am not asking for anything in return. A simple thank you is fine. Who doesn't like being appreciated? This makes me wonder - Do human take things for granted? Hmm?



Another frustrating thing that I have been keeping for years is that, sometimes people think they know me and when I say "know me" - They think they know me very well. Like for instance, I can be quite animated at times. I do like to talk and in the last 6 and a half years or 7 years I have been into club football. People tend to judge me as a "football fanatic". They think I am always about football, football, football.


Yes, I like football. It all started a couple of years back. However, that's not the real me. I cannot stand people who think they know me! And just because I am quite talkative and always seem to be those "Happy-Go-Lucky" sort, they tend to not take me seriously. That is very frustrating. They just see one side of the coin. They didn't see the other side of the coin. I guess that is why sometimes I get a little angry easily at times. I have been keeping my frustrations far too long to the extend it has snowballed into a bigger snowball!



Arghhhh! I am trying to let go of certain things slowly but it's not an easy task! I don't like feeling this way. It's not a nice feeling! Who likes to feel that way?



All in all, along the way I have met some nice people too. People who I will never forget. Perhaps god wants to test me and let me experience all this. I guess this is what makes us a better person? Facing those obstacles and learning from our experience.


Like they say - Life is full of obstacles, you have to get over it.


With that, I will try and blog again soon! (Yes, I will try! And oh, I guess it's also time for a new skin! Oops! Have been saying that since last year! Soon! )


As for now,
Peace out~