Let me ask you a question. If you got into your first choice (be it the school, course or in whatever), how would you react? The obvious answer is - JUMP WITH JOY!


Then again, how long would that last? So ok, probably the first time you would be really pleased and excited because you got your desired choice. Some might even say - "Wow! You're so lucky!" or "Shut up! You serious? Oh my god!"


After a while, that joy just faded somehow. Yes? No? Maybe?


Well? That's how I feel when I got my posting result. Honestly the day before the posting result, friends chatting with me on MSN keep mentioning about it and I got irritated as I was actually worried about it! I told them to stop talking about it as I don't want to think about it.


JPAE POSTING RESULTS day - The release of the results were at 2pm and I was in the showering very nervous but when I came out and switched on my laptop I just tell myself to calm down. I had mixed feelings I guess? However, I'm more of like a mute person. I was really soooooo silent.


Logged in and when I read it, I keep quiet still. Read it again to make sure I read correctly and guess what? I just laughed like a mad person as I couldn't believe what I saw on the screen. After which, I was like - "Yes yes! Yes! Woooooo! Yes! Mummy! Mummy!"


I called my mother over to take a look as I thought my eyes played tricks on me. She came over and read it and congratulated me.


I am surprised and pleased with it but then again, after a while, it just faded slowly and after a while, I'll just go "No big deal right?" (Some are surprised because previously I didn't consider the school as a choice but you know, human can change their mind and it's because of the course)


I don't know why but I'm still questioning myself - Why do I feel that way?


I must thank god for everything that he has given as the almighty one has been kind to me even though along the way I do face obstacles that I have to overcome (Isn't that what life is about?).


Despite having things that do go my way most of the times and probably at times I am a lucky girl, I still have this thought of - "What's holding me back?"


Sometimes I just have this fear, and sometimes I just feel very confident. Sometimes I afraid, sometimes I'm just consolling myself and motivate myself.


Why why why... Do I feel this way?


What am I afraid of? Why do I feel this way? How come I have to feel this way? I just don't know the answer to it. Honestly, I just feel like... I just don't know what to say. It's like there's something missing.


Ok, I guess I shouldn't be complaining and all. I am happy with the things I have in life. Then again as you know in life, nothing is perfect so there'll be some downs in life too. However, with everything that I have and all, I guess I have to be fortunate and thank god for everything in my life. I guess I'm just thinking too much.


I am no angel. I am not 100 percent innocent BUT I always try to be a good person. When I say "try", that doesn't mean I am faking it, what I mean is you can't always be good all the time right?


When you're angry, you may curse, swear, throw things or maybe even react violently. When you're emotional, probably you'll breakdown and cry. Say silly things and things like that. I don't mean "TRY" as in pretending to be good. That's not what I mean and I don't think I am like that! Why would I pretend to be good?


Oh well... Anyway, thank you god for everything. I appreciate the things that I have and the things that I have been given.


So... Ok, it's nice to get into your first choice. Who doesn't like it? Anybody who gets into their first choice would definitely be HAPPY like a mad dog. Oops. Ok, I didn't mean it that way. (Just kidding! ...on the mad dog part)


Should I just say it already? Hmm... Maybe not. I'm taking it in a different approach. I just want to remain low profile. I remembered being all so happy and all that I sort of like go around and ask classmates and stuff like that in which some would just call me ARROGANT or ACTION.


That is soooooo wrong! I mean, it's a human reaction. If you did well or you achieved something, of course you will be happy and stuff like that. However, I was often being called that by some classmates. Those that said that were ones that I don't quite fancy actually. *oops* (Oh well...)


The thing is, I just... I just... I don't know. Some things that I used to do in the past, now... I just don't do it anymore or just simply lost touch of it or lost interest in it. Boohoo! (Can be a bad thing at times I guess?)


Anyway, SOME HAVE GOTTEN THEIR ENROLMENT PACKAGE but I'm still waiting for it. I asked Junyong on Saturday and he said he have not received it yet too. (:


I will be in the same school as two of my Secondary classmates (but different course) - Wang Junyong and Ping Kee. W.J.Y (Wang Junyong), which I always call him in Secondary is a nice friend. I remember all those nonsense that we had. When I looked back and reflect, oh boy... It was funny!


We would somehow "brag" to each other saying - "Eh! I am top for Chinese", in which I would say "Eh! I am top for English". Those were the days. I remember he likes to say this "Diane, where are you? Diane, oi! Don't hide." How idiotic? He said that because he's taller than me (like probably by 20cm)! Boohoo. Then again, he is kind somehow.


Not forgetting Ping Kee, that genius with a little bit of... *ahem* Shall not spill the beans (later people think he's really a .....rt - Ahem), I would say he's a smart guy. Unfortunately, he is colour blind! How sad?


Aww... Those were the days, I miss those days! Makes me smile when I look back at it. Oh... It means I'll be seeing someone too. I'll be seeing a BEAR. *Oops*


*sigh* I'm not really like sad or anything like that. It's just that... If only I could pause those days. Good old memories, good old days. Alright, I will update soon if I have the time!


P.S: Oh yes, ♥Chelsea beat Coventry by 2 goals to nil. Courtesy of Didier Drogba and Alex, they will face Arsenal/Hull in the Semi-Finals. Boohoo! GO ♥CHELSEA GO! DIANE ♥ CHELSEA~


Wish me luck coping in my new school! (: I'll just have to work hard and keep my feet on the ground. Oh, good luck to FAIZ too. May you get in to Nanyang (NYP), then we can meet up after school (if we end school early).


LOVE~

xoxoxo


Peace out~