Sometimes I just wonder, what is the meaning of HAPPY.



Am I faking to be happy or am I happy but all these things always come to an end because of a certain thing?



Hmm? Ok... I think I'm mostly a happy person but all these things always come to an end which either makes me sad, disappointed or angry. It sucks and I hate it. I know they say life is always full of obstacles. Yes, I understand but... I feel it's unfair for me.



The things that I don't like always occur and I always have to face it. (How sucky can that be??) One good example is like the type of people that I don't wish to meet and I always meet! When I ask some of my friends, they don't meet that kind of people. Sometimes I wonder, why does it have to be that way? Maybe god wants me to learn something out of it but... If it's constantly meet such people, do you think it's fair? I feel it's unfair. With regards to people that you know change once they found someone and stuff like that. Well? THAT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE. (I'm not pointing fingers)



I'm not cursing god. I am just lost. Yes, simply lost. I am just so sad. In fact, I'm very sad inside (at the moment). However, that does not mean that I am always faking to be happy. It's not what I mean. I mean, there are the happy moments which I sincerely feel happy but things change very fast and before you knew it, you are onto another situation already.



It sounds crazy but it's true. What can I say? Need I say anymore? I don't think so.



It hurts me when someone you dearly care a lot hurts you. (Think: The ones you care for) Yes, what could hurt you more?



To be fair, my family has been great but as you know, not everything your family may know about you. Sometimes the things they say might hurt you without them realising it and in return, you might have done the same. Then again, sometimes this world can just be a little unfair. Don't you think so? On the positive side of things, I'm pleased to have the things that I have - The things that my parents could offer to me.



However, overall... I guess there are certain things that might have "deprieved" me and now I'm still wondering... Thinking to myself and questioning... What am I missing? I still couldn't find the answer to it. I just don't feel that complete. I feel I need to achieve something or something like that. I'm still in the mix of things. I don't know what I really want.



It sounds bad because you as a person got to know what you really want in life but... I'm really lost. I don't know what I really want. I'm still exploring myself as a person. Still trying to figure out what do I REALLY REALLY WANT. Ok, I do want to be a successful person but how and what do I do to be that kind of person? What I mean by "what do I do" is that: What do I want to become in the near future?



I still haven't have a clue to it. Well? Soon or later I'll have to know what I do want to be.



Oh well... Anyway, I'm feeling a little better now typing this out. I just don't want to think about the sad things. I just want to think of all the positive.



NOTE: IT'S NOT ABOUT FRIENDSHIP OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. IT'S JUST SOME PERSONAL REASON/STUFF THAT YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND.



So... With that I hope you guys won't ask. Even if you do, I won't say no matter what. Where's that sense of respect? Just give me some respect. That's all I'm asking for.



There's a lot of things that I wish to say but no, I would not say. Only I know and it will remain the way it is. Furthermore, the ones that you love may hurt you but... At the end of the day, you still ♥ them. (: Don't you?



Anyway, let's not talk about that anymore. Moving on now...


+ Had class graduation photo taken on Thursday. Oh boy, hope it turns out well. *grins*

+ Yesterday's inter-class Captain Ball is postponed to Tuesday (26th of August) as it was raining yesterday.

+ Went to VivoCity yesterday to eat lunch with Fiqah and Syad. (Oh yes, Fiqah... I hope you understand as I don't have any intentions or whatsoever. You should know what I mean. With regards to the ONE DAY thing, no... It's just not my thing, ya?)



Anyway, I'll post some pictures in the next entry as it seems like I'm having a problem here uploading the pictures. I don't know why too.



Before I go, here is the long awaited survey that Ratna wants me to do (actually I've typed this out the other time, just that I didn't post it but ok, I merge it with this entry.).


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Survey

1) The person who last tagged you is ?
RATNA - LadyBlackMetal - RATATA. Oops.

2) Your relationship with him/her is ?
My lesbian partner. Haha. A gool pal of mine. (: Yes, we kick ass ok?

3) Your first impression of him/her is ?
She seems quiet and approachable.

4) The most memorable thing he/she has done for you is ?
Hmm? Let me see. I can't remember but she did help me with my makeup for the drama performance. Very patient and good.

5) The most memorable thing he/she has say to you is?
Oh, that I can't remember. >.<

6) If he/she become your lover , you will ?
We will be the best lesbian partner. HAHA! Ok, just kidding. We're straight, right?

7) If he/she become your lover , what should she be improved at ?
I can't answer that. I think she's more experienced than me.

8) If he/she become your enemy , what would you do ?
Aww... Don't say that. I think she's a nice person.

9) If he/she become your enemy , the reason will be ?
I really don't know. I can't think of a reason.

10) The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is ?
Buy her more root beer. HAHA. Ok, just kidding. Be a good friend to her. How's that?

11) Your overall impression of him/her is ?
She's a good person with some fetish. Oops. HAHA.

12) How do you think people around you will feel about you ?
(Same answer as the first survey I did): People around me feel about myself? I... I AM THE BEST of course. HAHA! Ok, that's so wrong. I guess they might think of me as hyper. HAHA. I don't know. Different people have different views on me but I hope people see me as a good person. (:

13) The characters you love yourself is ?
(Same as the first one): I'm a good listener (though I love to talk a lot). I like making my friends day. (:

14) On the contracy , the character you hate yourself is ?
(Same as the first one): I have bad temper - Gets angry easily at times and if I'm angry, sometimes I'll say harsh things. Hmm? And probably my stubborness.

15) The most ideal person you want to be is ?
(Same as the first one): I want to be a good person. I'm not saying I WANT/MUST TO BE AN ANGEL. Come on. HAHA. What I mean is... I want to be a good person and not cause problems to anyone. I just want peace.

16) For people that care & like you , say something to them .
(Same as the first one): I love my family, I love my friends... I hate idiots. HAHA. Ok... To those that are always by my side, thank you so much. I appreciate everything and I will always remember that.

17) Pass this quiz to 10 people who you want to know how they feel about you:
Well? I already named a few in my first survey.




Peace out~