Wanted to blog few days ago but was busy doing other stuff and whenever I log in wanting to update, I simply don't feel like doing so but now I'M TYPING THIS OF COURSE.



What a day. Seriously, I've not feel this angry for quite a while. I AM SIMPLY SO BLOODY ANGRY. (I'm not going to use the F word. Yes, I keep my blog clean.)



It is so annoying. Seriously, the last time I feel soooooooo angry at school was in Secondary school. SOME IDIOT THINK THAT BY SHUTTING DOWN YOUR COMPUTER IS A FUN THING, but you know what? It's freaking annoying. It may seem as a joke but I don't like. It isn't funny.



Forget that. I'm simply very angry but I'm trying to cool myself down. SO PARDON ME AS I WANT TO USE THIS ENTRY TO VENT ALL MY ANGER OUT.



What's even more annoying is that from one STUPID thing it could LEAD TO ANOTHER BLOODY STUPID THING. You know, it simply is so frustrating. I am simply so mad.



Someone you love dearly simply saying hurtful things to you without realising what they say, how do you feel? What if it isn't the first time? It has been going on for like AS LONG AS you CAN REMEMBER. There's too things that I want to voice out but I don't know where and how to begin. Whatever it is, all I can say is... I AM SO SICK AND TIRED.



TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL, HAVE YOU EVER THINK OF MINE? Yes, we may look like we're always good terms but hey, even so... We still have arguements and all. In life, that is common but what's so frustrating is that THE OTHER PARTY simply don't bloody realise "his/her" own mistake. (I shall not say if it's a him or her, you figure that one out.)



I am not perfect. I do make mistakes. I make mistakes, I make sins just like any human being but I always try to be a good person. So why can't that PERSON just see it? I just want to be acknowledge. To be appreciated. It is so irritating when people don't appreciate you. IS IT THAT DIFFICULT?? I AM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. All I'm asking is just to be appreciated.



Same all problem since I'm young till now. If I can do that, why can't I have that same treatment? So... The world is not fair? OR should I say, HUMANS ARE NEVER FAIR? The greed, the jealousy... The power. Oh dear. *roll eyes*



I am simply sick. I AM SO SICK AND TIRED. I've been keeping all these frustrations for a long time. I simply can't take it. Why do I always have to meet people who I don't wist to meet? What did I do? Where did I go wrong?



I'm not one who goes around and looks for trouble or anyhow offend people for nothing and stuff like that. So, why do I deserve such treatment? I am very disappointed. Probably - "sadden" would be a suitable word.



I'm simply sadden by all these. I have so many things in my mind,in my heart. I'll not forget those things. Hmm? Then again, maybe by not forgetting it makes it even tougher for me.



However, how can I just keep quiet when such things do happen all the time in my life? Ok, I do meet some really nice people along the way in my almost 18 years. I appreciate those nice people as they do leave a mark in my life and I treasure those.



WHAT I CAN'T STAND IS THE "not-so-nice" PEOPLE THAT I MEET OFTEN. It is really annoying. I BLOODY HATE IT. Why can't I just have some peace? All I'm asking for is to be appreciated and some peace. Furthermore, I don't think I am an EVIL person.



Ok, I'm no angel like I mentioned above but to be frank, I just want to stay relax and calm... Happy and simply laidback. However, with all these that I face everytime... It makes it tough for me.



I understand that this is life and life's like that. Life is like a rollercoaster ride and as humans, we have emotions, we have feelings. We can't possibly be HAPPY all the time but certain things that happened, I just don't understand. Tell me what did I do to deserve such treatment?



No, I am not scared. I mean... I am not afraid to stand firm and fight for my rights. Then again, if too much of those, will I be able to hold on to it and stand strong? I keep questioning myself. There are times whereby I feel like I could no longer tolerate it. Then again, to give up? That's really weak (though it's freaking frustrating).



Something that comes to my mind - "ANGER MANAGEMENT".



I've been thinking about it for a few years already. I feel I really need Anger Management. I have bad temper when I get mad. Oh god... It's not that I want to but sometimes it feels like I just can't help it. I, myself hate myself when I'm angry. It's not a nice thing but... Oh well...



Well? You can't change the people living on earth because we are all unique in our ways and we cannot change them (unless you're talking about a robot; program). We all think and act differently. Imagine everyone is indifferent. Oh my. I think I'll go crazy?



*sigh* There's always the good and the bad. Boohoo!



To think about it, I guess it's somewhat pointless because the only person who can change you is yourself. Only you, yourself can determine who you want to be. I admit that I still have a lot of learn. At times I feel awkward and at times I feel like I'm struggling.



I'm still constantly learning everyday. Learning about things, trying to figure out things, constantly questioning myself and wondering why. All I can say is that - Being a teenager is not that simple and being an adult? One word comes to mind: Responsibility. As a human, you have to be responsible for your actions. Ok, not only adults, applies to everyone.



Maybe to some as a kid you won't have responsibilities. Hmm? Quite true but then again, you got to learn about it too. My parents constantly remind me of being a responsible person and I will be a responsible person.



"Dare to do it, dare to admit."



Oh well... What's your take on it? You be the judge, you decide. All these that I typed are just my voice of frustration and my point of view. As a human being, you may choose to digest it or ignore it as you have your own point of view on it.



All I want to say is - CHERISH THE THINGS YOU HAVE. (:

Thursday, July 24, 2008

1.10AM. Here I am typing this. Hmm... I guess the best place for me to be now would be on my bed and in Fantasy Land dreaming. Dare to dream?



I wanted to blog since Monday but whenever I logged in, I just feel so blank whenever I'm at this page (to type this of course). Oh well, at least I AM BLOGGING (updating!) my blog.



Let me reflect on the things that happened since Monday.



-MONDAY-

It's Racial Harmony Day (and also Leon's birthday). I actually didn't feel like coming to school as I knew that there won't be Sports and Wellness (S&W) on Monday. (Reason: The night before, Ratna mentioned it to me.) However, I still came to school. Well? We were dismissed very EARLY. By 1.15PM, we were dismissed.



Fiqah, Naqiah and I decided to head to Marina Square. We had lunch at Burger King. Hmm... It's been a while since I last order something from Burger King. Err? Ok, wait. I think the last time I ate Burger King was like few months ago. Probably in January or February.



I ordered BK Big Fish,Cravio (Did I get that right? Can't remember it that well anyway!) ice cream and Chicken tenders. After that, we went window shopping a while, while waiting for Naqiah's boyfriend to arrive.



After that we seperate ways. Well, you know... You got to give the couple a BREATHING SPACE, yeah? *grins* So... You know what to do. *winks*



Well... I don't know what happened next to the both of them but I guess they had fun. If I'm not wrong, they went to catch the Batman movie - "THE DARK KNIGHT". ...The rest? You have to imagine what happened next. Muahahaha~



Fiqah and I went to TIMES bookstore to take a look at the books and read. Hmm? I ended up by SEVENTEEN magazine. We went off at about 4.30PM.



-TUESDAY-

Hmm? Tuesday - HAD NAPFA test. Had 2.4km run before proceeding to do the 5 stations. Grr!! I'm simply unfit. HAHA. Ok, to my surprise, I guess I still have some stamina in me. I guess I did pretty ok. Frankly, it's something beyond my expectations. However, I think my Sit and Reach didn't have any improvement. Still 42cm (3 points). Boohoo.



LAZY me. I haven't been training for quite a while and from a GOLD (2001 - 2005) to BRONZE (2006; Err? Don't know what I got last year. Either bronze or silver I guess?) is a huge difference.



When I was younger, I was much fitter. Even though I became lazier when I was in Secondary, still I managed to get gold for three years (Secondary 1 to 3). After which, I guess I tell myself to just do enough to get a bronze. Oh my, how idiotic can that be?



HAHA. I guess it's all in the mentality? Well, sometimes you just can't push yourself too hard. (:



Maybe the reason to why I am surprised is that... I remember last year after NAPFA, my whole body was aching badly and stuff like that. Even though it didn't ache on the day itself (started to ache at night only - Only my legs were feeling it then), I think I feel good.



Seriously, after NAPFA, I still have some energy. I feel like I could do a little more. (Crazy? Maybe some might think that way.)



Even though I feel muscle a little sore and stuff like that, still... I don't feel it hurts that bad. Oh, guess what? I think I like it somehow. Oops! Uh-huh. I don't know why.



Anyway, later on that day Fiqah,Naqiah and I decided to go to VivoCity before heading home. Went there to just do some window-shopping. The funniest part of the day was at Toys R' Us. Oh boy, I miss those days when I was a kid!!!



The memorable or should I say CRAZY (silly and lame) thing was that I was simply "outgoing". I'm quite a shy person actually. Yes, yes... I know some will be like - "SHY meh? WHERE GOT??" Hey, I am ok. My parents know that. Just that I am an optimist so therefore I keep telling myself to stay positive and stuff like that. *grins*



Dance along with Naqiah and it's been a while since I last do such things. Oh ya, not forgetting humming to the "THREE BLIND MICE" song too. Aww man. It's kind of stuck in my head! Boohoo! Save me! Save me!! HAHA.



After which, I went to Giant to buy some groceries while Fiqah and Naqiah had to wait for me. Muahahaha~ There after? WE WENT OFF!



-WEDNESDAY-

It was a cold Wednesday. When I woke up, it was raining. The reason why I woke up was that it was soooooo cold! I couldn't take it that I had to switch off the fan. Went back to sleep for about an hour before getting up (again) to shower and get ready for school.



Well? Just decided to wear contact lens (I wore it on Tuesday too) for the day as I saw the pair on my desk. Hmm? Contact lens? It gives you the freedom to do things easily especially if you're doing sports. (:



Oh well, the day was pretty much ok. Nothing much I have to say. Except for that we had to go to the Indoor Sports Hall for this health care exhibition or something like that. Taufik came to my school but I was having lessons then. Anyway, met Meria (my Primary school friend). Was surprised to see her. Exchanged numbers with her. (:



Oh yes, I also eat a lot today and I am not the last person to finish my food today. HAHA. I,myself didn't know how come I eat that fast. Oh well... Nothing major but I just want to highlight that point - That I'm not always the last person to finish.



Anyway, I'm feeling worried now. Why? Well, the FINAL YEAR PROJECT (FYP) is stuck in my head. I keep thinking about it and I'm like worrying about it. Oh dear. How bad can that be? Grr... Seriously, it's stressful but hey, give it a shot. Give it your all. (: [I want to be the best! Ok, maybe not the best but I want to prove what I'm capable of. Well? Teamwork is important and I'm confident that my group will do a good job. HOWEVER, someone needs to "improve his attitude".]



Yawns. Oh well, as for Thursday (today)? Lesson starts at noon. Hmm... Wondering if today will be a good day. Then again, you cannot predict the future. Sometimes things happen unexpectedly.



Umm... Guess I shouldn't worry too much. Ok, I'll end here for today. Will update when I have the time to do so.


As for now,

Peace out~

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Dare to dream? I guess I don't want to dream for now. Sometimes I feel that my dreams are "scary" enough to scare me. No, I don't have nightmares but sometimes in your dreams, it seems all so good but it's totally opposite in reality.



What's your take on it? Do you? Dare to dream?



I remember having a dream about someone I used to fancy for like four and a half years (can you imagine the pain? I had hard times forgetting him as I like him a lot) and guess what? It's the opposite but guess what? The place that was in my dream was similar to what I experienced later on.



Oh well, I don't believe in dreams. In fact, I stopped believing in it since like few years ago because I feel that it is just a dream. Even though it is a sweet and memorable one but in reality? That won't happen. As simple as that. Period.



I guess I stopped believing? *shrugs* I don't know. I just don't wish to, I guess? Well, it's how you look at it. (:



These few days, I've been feeling a little bit upset and frustrated. Though you can't tell that if I am, I actually am feeling that way. Yeah yeah, I may seem like that happy-go-lucky type but you know what? I'm just a mere human just like you.



The reason to being upset and frustrated: When I look back in life, when I look at it and go through it into detail, it hurts me sometimes. Why is that so? It starts to remind me of the things, the people that I've lost. Those sour memories. Oh that bitterness.



Even though it may not show it (because I always choose to try and stay happy), deep down inside, I guess it's somewhat painful.



There and then this question comes to my mind: "Am I lying to myself about how I actually feel?" I don't know how to understand that. Maybe a little but still, I have my reasons to it. You know, I feel like a bloody loser when everytime in my life... Good things always have to come to an end.



"Why do all good things come to an end, come to an end... Oh why do all good things come to an end?" - NELLY FURTADO - "All Good Things Come To An End".



That may be a song but it really does apply to my life. I wouldn't say my life is really that bad. So far it has been pretty ok. Family is always first on my list and even though at times we as humans do quarrel (even with your family members) but hey, looking on the brighter side, I should be pleased with what I have.



Although there'll be times whereby you wish they (in which this case would be your family) would understand you better and all, all I can say is... The best thing you could ever ask for is to have good family communication.



I may be that LOUD and NOISY (well? maybe that's what friends would describe me?), at home I'm not really all that. Scared? No, I'm not scared of being who I am. They know that I can be talkative and all but I guess when I'm at home, I prefer to keep quiet. Ok, at times I do feel like talking a lot but at times, I just prefer to keep quiet and do my own things.



Split personalities? Hmm? You know, it makes me wonder now actually. At times I'm an emotional person, at times I'm just so calm, at times I'm just so naive, at times I'm very cautious....... Well? I don't have to continue right?



To think about when I was in Secondary, it depends on how you look at me. If I'm with my good friend, I'll be that "happy-go-lucky", silly ,talkative and hyper. However, my form teacher used to think that I'm quiet and need to socialise with my classmates more. Am I that quiet? Ok, I am quiet because there were some classmates I feel not worth being nice to.



I am serious during lessons and I never fall asleep. I only felt sleepy during Maths lessons but I always make an effort to drink water (my water bottle), to keep myself "energised". I simply don't know I would feel sleepy during Maths lesson.



Anyway, that's not the point. It's in the past anyway. I guess people have different sides in them it's just how you look at it. At the end of the day, I guess god knows even more. God knows who and what type of person you really are.



Well, I guess I'm one who likes to keep certain emotions within myself. Only my heart and my soul knows how I truly feel. EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE MIGHT THINK I'M ONE WHO WOULD SHARE HOW I FEEL AND ALL. Yes, I do share certain things but there are certain things that I choose to keep it to myself. Only my heart and soul knows. Then again, sometimes it's very difficult.



Let's just say, I have my reasons to why I responded in a certain way for certain things. The past is history but with that experience in the past, even though we're in the present, the experience that I had in the past, I just don't wish it to occur again.



Some might argue what experience? Well? I came across different types of people, maybe some of my friends may not have met that kind of people - Well? I don't know. I've encountered the "desperates", the "hypocrites", the "devil/angel" and so on.



Hypocrites are the worst I guess. I wouldn't say I'm a pure angel but I've encountered this hypocrite who only "make used" of me. I actually played along with her with her not knowing that I was actually FULLY AWARE of what she was doing. Well? At times I'm really naive on a certain day but come on... I'm not that dumb.



I observed and I sort of heard it. Knowing that she's a HYPOCRITE, I wanted to know more about her so I decided to play along and acted really dumb. Yes, really dumb and naive. I even overheard her saying: "Diane is really stupid and naive."



OH WOW, THANK YOU. ...But you know what? Tell me who is the stupid one now? Definitely not me. She's the one being stupid. I didn't tell anyone about it actually and this happened in 2002. 6 years and I still remember that event. I tell myself, I can never forget that.



I then realised that she's a bad friend. Even her "GOOD" friend, in front of her, she's really all so sweet and nice. She's one who you think a very good and nice person. Someone whom you can trust and all but actually, she isn't. Not only is she a hypocrite, she's one who falls in that "devil/angel" category.



What do I mean by "Devil/Angel"? Basically, I mean - An angel on the outside but a devil in the inside. I simply HATE this kind of people. I'm no angel. I'm quite playful and hyper but... I would never do such things. I still have a heart and I'm still human. (Even though when I'm mad I may do things I don't mean, otherwise... I'm fine.)



You shouldn't be wasting time on such people and sometimes I wish I could turn back time as I've made a lot of mistakes in the past. I hate it. It's there will be something that will spoil that good moment that I'm having. It's bloody irritating. It's so bloody frustrating. I am so bloody upset and I just want to bloody say - WHY IS IT SO UNFAIR?



I understand you cannot have everything but then, can't I just have peace? All I'm asking is just peace. Just don't bother me and have such obstacles. Realistic? Maybe not because life is full of obstacles. (Sheesh, how irritating?? Well, life's like that. Grr...)



I am simply frustrated. I guess I've been like that for I can't remember when. Oh my. That's actually bad. *sigh* It's hard to have someone that understands you. Only my little heart of mine knows how I really feel but it's hard for me to express it out at times. IF only my lovely heart could talk but nah, that would never happen.



You know, after typing this... I feel better (also probably because I'm listening to "Trance Match" - Armin van Buuren & DJ Tiesto using headphones). Before that, I was feeling a little down and it's like I feel like breakdown. Too much emotions kept inside. I guess sometimes it's best to let it out. (:




Well? If I really can't get over it, then I may result to "comfort food". Yes, I do eat at times when I feel down. However, at times I may not have the appetite to do so, which probably leads me to blasting music loud using headphones but not too loud to the extend it hurts my ears like mad.  Oh well . . .




Oh heck it - I don't give a damn. - Peace out~

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

" If it's all meant for me
And if I'm so meant for you
Why does this have to be so hard on both of us two

If it's all meant for me
And if I'm so meant for you
Why does this have to be so hard on both of us two


Still you're sayin' no, no (no, no, nonono, nono)
I can't take no more of this and
And I'm knock, knock, knockin' on your door
Askin' if you still let me in


Won't you stay (ay, ay, ay, ay, ay... ay, ay, ay, ay... ay, ay, ay, ay...)
Won't you stay?

Won't you stay (ay, ay, ay, ay, ay... ay, ay, ay, ay... ay, ay, ay, ay...)
Won't you stay? "


^ JAY SEAN's - "STAY"


" And I just can't pull myself away
Under her spell I can't break
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop


And I just can't break myself no way
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop "


^ NE-YO's "CLOSER"


Its like I waited my whole life (oh)
For this one night (one night)
It's gonna be me,you and the dance floor (dance floor)
'Cause we only got one night (ohh)
Double you pleasure
Double your fun (yeah)


And dance forever ever ever (ohh)
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever (forever)

Ever ever ever (ever)
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever ever ever (ever)
Forever on the dance floor "


^ CHRIS BROWN's "FOREVER"


I’m sick of looking for those heroes in the sky
To teach us how to fly
Together we cry!

Together we cry
Together we cry


^ THE SCRIPT's "WE CRY"


" Hey, Hey... All the way
DJ let it play...
Hey, Hey Can You Hear Me?
Oooow

Hey... Hey... All the way
DJ let it play...
Hey, Hey Can You Hear Me?
Oooow

Can You Hear Me?
Can You Hear Me?
Can You Hear Me?
Can You Hear Me?
Oooow "


^ ENRIQUE IGLESIAS' "CAN YOU HEAR ME"



Seems like these few days I'm into R&B. (Oh except for "We Cry" and "Can You Hear Me", their under the POP genre.)
* "Can You Hear Me" is my current ringtone for my mobile phone.


OK, ENOUGH OF MUSIC FOR NOW.

Moving on now... Oh my, 6 more days or less to NAPFA! Grr... I'm simply not fit this time. Being a "pig" for a month with just walking only without jogging and all, makes me feel very "unfit".



SIMPLY SO... UNFIT.



The motivation to get GOLD dies off somehow. Maybe I'll just aim for a bronze this year. Back then, I WAS FIT but now? Nah. I guess I need more practice. However, I think it's time I start to regain fitness. I've been a lazy bum for quite a while and I have to ditch that and start motivating myself (again).



It's easier to say but you know, ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. So, I should start soon and yes, I did not forget about my goal that I want to achieve. Working out to have a fit looking bod (That is... Body).



When I was younger, I'm a very active person but ever since my knees have been giving me problems, I just find it painful and irritating. To top it off, I became lazy. Boooooo. How bad can that be? (Very?) Wishing I could turn back time? Well, it's in the past now. What's done can't be undone. Got to look ahead.



Well? Thinking back of the past and now... I miss certain things that I used to do or let's just say... I miss certain things in the past. However, to think about now... I think I should thank god. Seriously, I never expect my current class to be really good.



It's too early to say GREAT I guess? I'll reserve that for later. As for now, I'll say my class is really good. I'm just so pleased and I thank god for having a class like this.



I don't recall having a class that I like a lot. In Secondary, there were some bad memories (some boys were simply immature back then - oh, not forgetting annoying) but then again, there were some really nice memories that would make me smile when I think back.



Well? Life is always full of ups and downs. There is nothing in this world as smooth flowing as there'll always be obstacles blocking your path. Irritating? Yeah. However, that's where patience comes in to the picture. Oh dear... Being patient is a really hard thing to do.



Then again, endurance is part of life I guess. I may be seen as "impatient" but I think overall, I've been enduring quite a lot actually. Maybe people just don't see it. "ONLY THE STRONG WILL SURVIVE AND THE WEAK WILL DIE."



You got to be strong but sometimes being "strong" is really tough. At times I feel like giving up or I simply start to lose hope. However, being an optimist, I always try to remind myself to stay positive. It's a killer I tell you!



I guess that's where YOUR GOOD FRIEND(s) comes in to the picture (of course, not forgetting your family!). Family support is important but of course you can't be telling your family everything right? I mean, there will be certain things whereby you feel much comfortable sharing it to a good friend of yours. (:



Oh yes, BLOG - The source where you can spill your thoughts and feelings. Ahhhhhh... The reason to why I have this blog. *grins* It eases. Well? That's my opinion on it. Not only it eases you, it helps you to broadcast your thoughts and feelings to the global community.



It's nice doing so as at times we can exchange ideas and all. I love learning from someone something new. I find it exciting and interesting. Exchanging of ideas? Simply something that I love.



Speaking of friends, I ACKNOWLEDGE MY FRIENDS. I am pleased to have meet these people who helped me along my journey. Not only did they help me but also, to encourage and give me the support when I needed one.



However, it is not a one-sided thing. As I mentioned that I do acknowledge, I repay by doing the same thing. That makes one a good friend and I believe that being a good friend, one has to be true to the person.



We all say - This world is full of hypocrites! Blah blah blah... Well? I guess, that's where trust comes in. This world can be cruel but hey, that's life. I know it seems unfair at times but remember, god is watching and I'm sure, you'll get your reward later on. (Probably god wants to test you first before rewarding you.)



GOOD GUYS FINISH LAST. How true is that? You decide. Hmm? I don't consider myself to be bad. I'm not bad, am I? I don't get into trouble. I obey the rules. Well? I'm one who does not get into trouble with the law or authorities.



Playful? Ok, maybe I am. Talkative, get be quite hot-tempered blah blah blah... Then again, I have my other side which is to think and reflect. Yes, that serious side of me. (:



I'm constantly trying to be a better person. However, at times I ask myself this question - "What do you get for being nice?" and then, probably that's where the "devil" comes in. That probably makes you a little rebellious and wild at times but once that "devil" goes away, *snap!* Everything goes back to who you really are and I'm who I am.



I don't "TRY" TO ACT GOOD to be good. I'm simply ME. Just be you, I hate it when people try to be someone who they are not. Just be YOURSELF. Come on, nobody's perfect but we can always learn from our mistakes and use that as a learning experience. That makes us a better person.



Ok, back to the 'FRIENDS' topic.


Fiqah
- Even though we may sometimes argue a little and have some conversations that some may look at it as a "sharp" remark to one another and all, that doesn't matter. I regard her as my good friend and nothing is going to change it. She may "bully" me and not wanting to side me when I needed someone to back me for "certain issues"... Minus that off, and yeah... I'm simply glad to have a friend like her.


Naqiah
- Along with Fiqah, we like to joke and talk rubbish at times. Well? In life, it's not always all work and no play right? Furthermore, laughing is the best medicine. What more do you want me to say? Good, nice friend.


OF COURSE, I DO NOT FORGET THE OTHERS TOO.


Darlene
- Ahhhh... What a nice friend. Understanding person. Would lend me her listening ear and advice me. I just feel she's a really nice person and her future boyfriend would be a lucky person because she's a kind person. Someone who I'll not forget for sure.




Pearline
- PEARL HARBOUR! Oops. Ahhhh... Those were the days (back in Primary school). Aww... I miss those days. We simply love laughing and sometimes simply laughing at ourselves because sometimes we do silly things. I just don't know whatelse to describe because those days were as though it was yesterday. Thanks for being a good friend to me.




Aida
- Someone who I will not forget. One of my main pillars in Primary school. Always so supportive. Those laughters, those joys... Even though in Secondary we were in the same school but not in the same class... I remember during recess we still try to find time to chat. I'm simply glad to know her, it makes me smile to think back actually. (:




Jaclyn
- I will not forget her even though we haven't been spending much time these few years but still, a friend who I will remember. Those days, those joy, those laughter... Oh my... I miss those days.




Xiaoqiang (ANGIE)
- Cockroach! Oops. I WILL NOT FORGET HER. A good friend to me in Secondary. I will remember the days when we "eyed" on hunks and all. *grins*


Those lame things we did. When our friendship was put to a test during camps, we still remain strong and I'm very pleased to have a friend like you. Never fail to make me smile. Even though we don't often hang out these days (though at times we do), we still find time to chat on MSN.



Oh, I simply miss those days! Boohoo! Eating lunch after school at Downtown East or sometimes buy takeaway at your place then walk to your place the bus stop to take bus home. Aww... I remember all those. Not forgetting, our favourite word - "Cuckoo" and quote - "Blind ar???" =DDDDDDD


Of course there are other friends too that are really sweet and nice. (:


I can't be typing out all your names (sorry!) but... I would like to say (from the bottom of my heart): THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. Most important, THANKS FOR BEING A GOOD PAL TO ME. (:


With that, I guess I should end here for today. - CHERISH WHAT YOU HAVE, especially your loved ones.


Sincerely,
Anne [Peace out~]

Sunday, July 13, 2008

YOU KNOW IT'S SICKENING WHEN ONE "F***ER" STARTS IT ALL AND TRIGGERS IT ALL.



Damn, I HATE YOU! Fuxk! *spits!* He does look better than me but hey, his attitude sucks when he's all so "fired up" (ever since few years ago). That's how I feel. As much as I care for him but you know, I AM SO ANGRY. I think it's been a while since I get really MAD LIKE THIS. I simply hate it when I get this mad because at times I tend to lose control and my temper just flare like nobody's business. I will only stop when I feel "satisfied".



It isn't a good thing. I could feel "my blood boiling". Full of rage - It isn't a good sign. I get very angry, I start to scold things that I don't mean... The shouting and all and what's even worst is that I might start to throw things. Or sometimes I feel like PHYSICALLY HURTING the other person.



Oh my. I know it's very bad. It's simply a bad feeling. I don't like the after feeling because I don't feel good and all. I feel tired after that at times, or just moody.



I've been trying to control my temper since 2006. Would say my temper is much better since studying in ITE College East (2007). In Secondary, there were such cases that some boys simply makes me angry and all but, it isn't the case now. I just don't wish to get angry and all.



Oh well, I'm feeling better now after blasting loud music (I'm using headphones) and just keeping quiet while I type this.



Yes I was mad but you know, now that I'm calm... It makes me upset when my parents start to make noise to "TEACH THAT ****" a lesson. It makes me upset because my parents aren't getting any younger and with his attitude like that. It worries me.



I kept telling him my attitude is better than his. That is the truth. FACT. I am an emotional person, I like to talk a lot but... I also observe and listen. To understand the situation and reflect, not just reacting to it as how you feel. THAT **** is more of "I REACT TO HOW I FEEL". It's more like a knee-jerk reaction. Silly, eh?



"Boys" these days fall into that category. Ok, not all fall into that category. Probably, some that I know fall into that category. (Sorry! But that's fact.)



Oh well, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to think of good things and not get angry and upset over such things. (Bad for health but at the same time, it's not possible to stay happy always. So, keep it at bay.) ...And oh, Fiqah chat with me at the right time, as I've calmed down.



Anyway, went to St. Stephen's church (wait, don't get me wrong) yesterday to pay respect to aunt Annie (My father's sister husband [my uncle] sister) who passed away. May aunt Annie rest in peace.



They had some sharing and when I was listening, it reminded me of those days when I was still in Secondary. I was from Hai Sing Catholic School - A Catholic school but that doesn't mean I'm a Christian or a Catholic. I'm neither.



I remember feeling awkward in my first year in Secondary as I was never in a Catholic school. After a while, I just got used to the way it is. I find those sharing in the morning interesting. Well, I'm very open about it actually. However, that doesn't mean when they say some prayers I follow them.



Even though I may not be very religious but I am still aware that I am a muslim and I always try to be a good muslim (even though I am not very religious, I still remember Allah). ("Allah" means GOD in Arab.)



Oh well, I shall not continue. It's a very touchy issue I would say. Anyway, NAPFA test is like very soon (22nd July!). Oh dear, I'm very worried. How how how?? Grrrrrr...



Alright, I shall stop here for now.


Oh yes, I'm very happy for Naqiah. *ahem ahem* She should know what I mean by that. Well, to see such things... It makes me happy. Seriously, I don't have any ill feelings. So don't get me wrong. Some people might think I'll have some ill feelings and all. WELL? I'M PROUD TO SAY - NO!



So to "those two" who asked me the other day - "When's your turn?" My reply is: "Why rush? Whatever comes my way, I'll see how." (P.S: THANK YOU TO THOSE CONSTANTLY MAKING MY DAY)




Ok,
Peace out~

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Ahhhhh... I haven't had honey for quite a while. I love to mix honey into my milk. Well? Those powdered milk. You know what? I'm drinking it now. Mix the milk powder with 1 to 1 and a half tablespoon of honey. Have it warm. Umm... Simply nice.



Oh well, it's 12.24AM now. Had school on Monday (as it's past midnight now). Going back to school on the first day of a new term is always weird. Is that right to describe it? Hmm, ok... I think I should use "still in a holiday mood".



Nothing much to day apart from Sports and Wellness and oh, the usual stuff. *winks*



Should I love my timetable or what? I'm neutral about my timetable but Sports and Wellness on a Monday? It's like I come to school on Monday just for CARE lesson, followed by Sports and Wellness. Oh dear... How's that? Oh! I forgot, some of them have elective module in the morning.



Oh well, I should stop whining I guess? (Am I whining?)



Anyway, NAPFA test is in about two weeks time and I haven't been training. I have been a lazy bum during my holidays. I don't exercise (Does walking count? *grins*).



Oh well, here's my timetable for Monday to Friday.

MONDAY - (For my case) 12 noon to 3.30PM.

TUESDAY - 9AM to 5.30PM

WEDNESDAY - 11AM to 5PM

THURSDAY -12PM to 6PM

FRIDAY - 8.30AM to 1PM



What's your take on it? Oh boy... Hmm?


I'm really tired. Boohoo! Drinking the honey milk makes me feel relax. Ahhhhhh... Somehow makes me feel like sleeping? HAHA. Guess I should be turning in early? EARLY? Well? Just look at the time now. Ok, probably in about an hour time I'll be in bed. Lying on my lovely, comfy bed. I simply love my bed. I just feel it's very comfortable.


Hmm? Oh well, holidays over now. It's back to business. You can have fun but I have to think of what I want to achieve to and with that, I have to work hard. Oh, not forgetting... Staying humble too.


You know like what they say: "You work hard, you play hard."


So work hard but don't forget to reward yourself too. You need to pamper youself too. WE'RE HUMANS.


Ok, I'll end here for today.



P.S: I HATE RAFAEL NADAL! YOU BROKE (MY FAVOURITE) ROGER FEDERER'S STREAK! Booooo! Ok, Mr Muscle Man is getting better and better each day but still... I'm with R-Fed. Come on R-Fed! Come on R-Fed! Boy, what a game that was. Lasting 4 hours and ... I can't remember the actual time.


Oh well, I hope R-Fed comes back stronger! (Though I am aware of Mr Muscle Man - HE'S THE MAIN THREAT!)




Alright,
peace out~

Saturday, July 05, 2008

"If love is a crime, what would crime be?"

"Love isn't evil. It's the people that makes love evil. Love is universal."

"Love is special. To be loved is a gift but to love is something precious."

These quotes are (were) by me. I can't recall that I was such a person back then. When I look back at my October 2005 entries, I realised I've matured a lot. I don't know but it seems like I was trying to explore what is love is all about. I guess somethings are best to wait.



"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved." - George Sand

"Love is smiling on the inside and out." - Jennifer Williams




Some [love] quotes that were in that entry. Hmm? I also came across this in my older entries.



"Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory."


"Love sound make you feel happy, secure and appreciated."




Oh boy was I feeling the LOVE. Oh well, that's almost three years ago. To be specific: About 2 years 9 months ago. That entry was in October 2005 when I was only 15 years old. What does a 15-year old knows?




Oh well... Those were the days but I really can't recall that I was like that back then. It's nice to look at my older entries and I actually smiled to myself. I was like: "Boy, what was I thinking when I typed those?"


HAVING A BLOG, is a form of freedom to express yourself. *smiles*


Ok, now...

6 THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT DIANE


(Well? Yes, SIX as it's my favourite number. Of course they are not really secrets but something that not many people may know about. Oh, may be weird too.)



#1 - I used to dislike Linkin Park back then. Saying "WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THEM?" Always complaining that I hate them and will not like them.
Guess what? Jaclyn lend me her Linkin Park album "Hybrid Theory" and upon listening to "One Step Closer" and "In The End", I was somehow addicted but... I still say I don't like them though part of me started fancying them. Only in Secondary then I dare to say I LIKE LINKIN PARK. *Oops - Exposed!*


#2 - I used to keep (hide?) a tooth in one of my older spectacle case. I don't know where is it now. If I am not wrong, that tooth is the tooth that I pulled out (and it came out) after the final whistle blew in the 2002 World Cup (which Brazil won).


#3 - When I was young (in K1), I would always write my name as: Diane Qaiser. Leaving out the "Lim". Was quite a happy-go-lucky person.


#4 - I almost drown in 1999 (if I remember correctly). I didn't see that the pool is 1.7 metres or was it 1.8 metres. That time I was only 1.3 something metres tall (short?). Thank god, I managed to get myself up floating in a way.


#5 - I am afraid of animals and insects since young. I dare not touch too.


#6 - My favourite colour was RED. Yes, I used to love red a lot. Then I like blue, then red again and... I like blue again. However, that doesn't mean that I hate red. At times, I'll still pick red. (See my current skin) *grins*




...And there you have it, 6 weird facts about me. Interesting? Or silly? Oh well, doesn't matter - 6 facts that not many people know about. Oh no! It's exposed now. HAHA. Ok, those are little things. Of course some I won't say! *grins*




Hmm? You know what, it's been a week that I have to do "this" before I sleep. So what exactly is "this"? IT'S... TO PLAY SCRABBLE on my mobile phone. HAHA! Ok, I know it may sound lame but it's true.




Whenever I feel tired and when I think "Ok,I should be going to bed" - As I was lying on my bed, I just couldn't sleep so... I just had to play it. After playing it, I'll feel tired and it's easy for me to fall asleep. Strange? It's true, you know? Oh yes, I'm also addicted to NE-YO's "CLOSER". Darn.




Oh well, I'm not looking forward to school. I'm going to miss my lifestyle! That is - My holiday lifestyle. Ok, if I were to tell you my holiday lifestyle I think I'll be labelled as "an owl". Or maybe something else. Depending on how you look at it.




As for now,

I'm off!~




Peace out~

Friday, July 04, 2008

HOLIDAYS ARE ENDING SOON. Boohoo! Meaning to say: Must learn to sleep early, must be focus, no more games... Can't wake up late.



Wanted to blog yesterday but was kind of tired and lazy. Went out yesterday with Fiqah, Faiz and Irsyad. Met them at Tampines MRT.



We watched "GET SMART" yesterday. Boy, it was hilarious and cool. You know, when I was young, I actually thought of becoming an agent when I grow up. I just find it so cool and I always wish that I was them.



Oh well, I guess watching in the movies is much easier than the real thing. When I look back in the past, when I was young, I actually have lots of imagination and I always dream of this and that. Hmm? Naive, yes at times I'm naive. The young, the innocent and naive one.



I'm older now, when I look back at those times, I actually laughed. Oh dear. How foolish can I be? Well, those were the days but hey, it's just present and the future as I look ahead.



You know they say - "As you grow older, you become wiser." Hmm, how true is that? You decide.



Ok, back to the movie. This is the 3rd movie that I catch during my holidays. "GET SMART" - Steve Carell brings the character out (MAXwell Smart). He's really cool in the movie. He's serious but at the same time he's silly and funny. An analyst that dreams to become a field agent.



Anne Hathaway - Oh simply gorgeous. Simply known as: Agent 99. Sexy and intelligent.



Max becomes Agent 86 and is partnered with Agent 99, who had plastic surgery to protect her identity. Agent 99 didn't like the idea in the beginning. Agent 23 (Dwayne "THE ROCK" Johnson) is demoted to desk jobs. You know what? He's actually a double agent! He died at the end. Agent 99 in the end fell for Agent 86. (Well, I guess I would fall for him too. Though he can be silly at times, well... He has some kind of a charm.)



Timeline may be predictable but what can you expect from a comedy movie? Overall, I enjoyed it. Oh, I almost forgot - "Squeeze the lemon", a quote from that movie. I was told by Fiqah that the lady beside her kept repeating it a few times. What do you think about it? *wonders* (Oh yes, the villian "Dalip" reminded me of JAWS from James Bond (older) movie.)



After the movie, we went shopping. Fiqah wants to get a new top and bottom. We went to Istean and while she was trying some clothes in the fitting room, I spotted this skirt which I think is really nice. Showed it to Fiqah and she actually kind of liked it.



Ended up, we got the same skirt. It cost $39. However, it was on promotion so we had 20% discount - Total: $31.20.


Went around then decided to go to Century Square. Met my Secondary schoolmate - Syamimi. Was surprised to see her as I didn't see her. She had to call my name.


In the end, Fiqah got this top which I think is sweet from Giordano. After that, she went off with Irsyad while Faiz and I headed to Pizza Hut. I actually didn't want to eat but you know what? Ended up ordering and eating Lasagne.



I just want to buy two pizzas takeaway but who knows Faiz influenced me? Sheesh. HAHA. Boohoo! Total damage: $60 (Lasagne + 1 regular Hawaiian Pizza + 1 large OCEAN CATCH Pizza).



Oh well, what a day I have to say. I am simply addicted to the OCEAN CATCH pizza. "Gimme gimme,gimme more... Gimme more." - Britney Spears' "Gimme more". LOL. I love that song ok? Oops.


I feel like I'm becoming a guy. Wait, don't get me wrong. I mean... You know guys like to play online games and all right? Lately, I've been having this urge to play online games. Ok, I don't play WoW (World of Warcraft). I play Cabal and Grando Espada.



Though Grando Espada I just started (played once only), I'm somehow "addicted" to Cabal. In the past 3 days, I've been wanting to play. I'm no PRO. I'm a noob. *grins*



Yes, it's true. Level 24 only (Venus; Force Shielder - AshleyKid). Am intending to level up to level 25 later. I have another character - Mars; Warrior - AshleyKid (level less than 10). I don't want to pressure myself and say I MUST LEVEL UP TO THIS LEVEL and stuff like that. I just play at my own pace. I love doing this at my own pace. No pressure, no strings attached. *grins*



That way, I enjoy more. Well? It's how you look at it.


"Oh freedom is mine and I know how I feel. It's a new dawn, it's a new day... It's a new life."


"...It's a new dawn,it's a new day... It's a new life, it's a new life for me... And I'm feeling good . . . I'm feeling good,I... Feel so good. I feel so good..." - Michael Buble - "Feeling Good". Am listening to that song now. I LOVE THAT SONG. Yes, it's my favourite song.



Oh well, as you can see I just changed my blog skin. Yes, it's up since few days ago. Finally it's not black. For three years, it's always black... Something different now. *grins*




Alright, enjoy~ (click to view it larger)