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// My Illusions*

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I don't know but something in me makes me feel sad at times whenever I look back at the past.

It sure is interesting and funny when you look back at those memories. Those days when you were young and naive. All the silly things that you would do or say and how innocent you were. My my my. Times flies.

However, at times when you look back at certain things... It makes you feel like crying. It's like... How do I say this? It's like you'll have mixed feelings when you back at those "not so sweet" memories.

I wouldn't dare say I'm 100% innocent but I'm mostly am.

I'm just human. I make mistakes and all. I've made a lot of mistakes in the past. Somehow, certain things I do regret whereas some things... It's really pointless to regret. Like they say... No point crying over a spilled milk.

Sometimes I ask myself - Where did I go wrong? What's wrong with me? Yes - Questions start popping in my head and I wonder "WHY?"

I've been through things that makes me a better person. Or maybe some may say strong person. Then again, inside this "strong person", it's just a little kid. Whatever it is, I'm still a girl. I'm just a mere human. We are all god's children.

I'm just like a kid. I love being pampered. Of course, I have discipline and I know when to not be a kid. It's frustrating when people judge you blindly. (Need a walking stick?) At the end of the day, I know myself the best.

Hmm? Best? Ok, maybe certain things I don't see it but I would say I still know who the person I am.

I choose to be who I want to be. It's my choice, it's your choice.

I feel that this year - 2007 - I'm a little different and there's good and bad things. There's certain things that I like and there are certain things that I don't as I don't understand why I've become like that.

What am I talking about? I like myself for controlling my temper. Seems like I'm able to control my temper better and I'm mostly happy this year.

What I don't like is that I've become lazy. I mean I always feel that I am lazy but this time... It's really lazy. I used to be competing with the boys in my class for results in secondary school. It's funny how things work out now.

I'm pretty sure there are people thinking I am dumb. Whatever it is, I don't think that I am. I feel I don't put in as much as effort as I should. Well? Maybe that would be the right choice of words.

I'm not saying that's right. That's wrong. I shouldn't be doing that. I know and I must kick that habit that I adapted this year. I have to start my engines again and start it rolling. Yeah, rolling like you are rolling a dice.

Talking about guys? Well... I'm a little unlucky when it comes to this.

A friend of mine was chatting with me earlier on and was asking me if I found the one. I laughed it off and simply replied: "Nah. For what?"

Responsed was - SHOCK. Yes, shocked. How shocking can that be? I don't think that's shocking. It's not as if I found the one. I can only think that my friend would react shocked if I found the one and not HAVEN'T FOUND.

It's strange at times that there are strange reactions and strange people around.

What am I to say about it? Life works that way. Like it or not, it's simply humans. Yes, humans makes this world filled with love, hatred, dark, colourful - Well? Whatever you want to call it.

Then there was that question. What question?

THE question. "What's your ideal guy then?"

It seems like those guys that I've met before aren't really my ideal guy or at least guys that I may consider. It's pretty sad because those that I came across are mostly the ones that I don't like.

How annoying can that be? VERY! Hur hur hur!

I like someone who knows how to dress. Someone who basically I can talk a lot with. What do I mean by talk? Simply anything under the sun. If you know what I mean by that.

I like someone who understands and likes me for who I am and not what I am. Someone sensible and caring. Honest and hardworking - That's a plus plus actually.

Well? I don't want to go on and on. Just to make it clear those are at least what I would call ideal.

If I were to go on, I would include - Joker, kind of adventureous, someone who has "BRAINS" (as in... Listening to himself and not what his friends say!) - Basically, I can't stand guys who don't have "BRAINS". It'll be nice if he and I share something in common - Be it interest, hobbies or favourite things.

Well? They say it's easy to find that type but you know... It's not as easy as you think. You may think that way but are they able to connect with each other? If the answer is yes, I disagree because not everyone is able to connect with each other.

Some may have a different point of view. Some may do things differently from the other. Basically - have different point of views, interest , and the list goes on!

As for me... I just want to be as good as possible. I'm a chatty person but I'm also shy actually. I can be friendly if you're nice to me. I can be mean if I choose to be and I can be hardworking if I tell myself to be.

ANYWAY... Went out to study with my two friends yesterday. (If you're reading this, you know who you are) Boooooo! I'm very worried. *sigh*

Call it study if you want but ok, at least the sponge can absorb some. After that, went to eat. We couldn't decide what to eat so we wasted time walking around to see what you want to eat. Ended up at the Adidas store at Parco Bugis Junction.

Look around at things for a while before really decide what to eat. Guess what it was? McDonalds! *humming to the tune of it* "I'm loving it!"

WELL... Ok, I apologise for being late ok? HAHA. I know I didn't do that but I'm doing it here. *grins*

Well? Time flies very fast when you're doing something. When you are occupied with things that is but if you aren't then you would feel that 5 minutes is very long.

Well? Alright, I guess it's time for me to go to FantasyLand~

Peace out.

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠3:31:00 am♠

// D: Illusionist

+ Diane

+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist

+ 0ctober 4th 1990

+ Libra

+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)

+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)

^{BLUE IS THE COLOUR}

// What does your sleeping position says about you?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

// What's your love type

Your Love Type: ISFJ

The Nurturer

In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.

Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.

Best matches: ESTP or ESFP

What's Your Love Type?

// Are you too picky when it comes to men?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

// What kind of sexy girl are you?

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

// What kind of girl are you?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

// Are you spoiled?

You Are 24% Spoiled

You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head.
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.

Are You Spoiled?

// What flavour Pocky are you?

You Are Flan Pocky

Your attitude: modern and offbeat
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

// Could you be violent?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

// Speed test
95 words

Speed test

// —The Voice Within—

// Other Illusionist♠

Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]

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Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
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————
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————
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————
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Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
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————
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Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
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Gary's Lover Den
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Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
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————
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————
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Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
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————
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————
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Leon
————
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————
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————
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————
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Ratna
————
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Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han

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