I really don't know how I'm feeling. I'm just feeling that I'm in a mix of things.

Goodness me but I just... Well? Ok,it can be confusing. Happy or what? Dang! Oh why,oh why...

Sheesh. As much as I hate it or as much as I love it... I'm tongue tied.

Oh well...

Anyway,TODAY is the release of RESULTS! How do I fair you might ask. That's a secret. I'm not telling. Only a few people knows. Hmm? Let's play some games. To give some hint, I am not a FOUR pointer. Figure out yourself then.

It's how you think of me and how you look at me as a person. You judge it then.

La La LA... Speaking of games... I actually hate being "punked" but I like to punk people. Oops! Ok,I'm a little playful but I don't mean any harm. For what I know some people simply wants to harm me in a way! Boohoo! That's not right!

If you think to hurt or to offend people is something funny? Think again then. THE ANSWER IS... YOU ARE SO WRONG!!!

Whatever I do,I never have the intention of hurting anyone. That's what I always tell myself - Never to hurt anyone.

Well,well well... This is reality. All sorts of people in this world. What can I say after all?

Sometimes I love being "stupid". I want to see how far a person goes and how sincere the person is. I want to see their true colours and how they really think of me.

When I am very serious,I can share things. Share stories or experience or simply just help you out whenever I'm possible or whatever I am capable of.

Last year,this time of the year... I was for English. It has been tiring to be top for English. Though I have to admit is a great feeling and I am always fighting for it.

Then again,sometimes it's tiring because people call you names like "action","arrogant" just because you managed to top a few subjects. For which in my case: English,Computer Application and Elements of Office Administration. It sure is tiring.

What's more if your Science teacher pressures you? You're someone who gets Top 10 for Science and your teacher pressures you to get A1 for N level?

Well... It has their good points and bad points. Sometimes I like being pressurised. It makes me work harder. To speak the truth,I miss that very much.

Subjects that I didn't care was... Chinese and Mathematics. Seriously,I don't like those subjects. However I am always trying to get at least a 4 for Mathematics somehow. EVEN THOUGH I dislike the subject.

Chinese? Oh dear. Don't even bother as I know I'll fail. That's a definite answer.

I remember people laugh at me when I didn't do well in my whole entire four years of secondary school for Mid-years examinations. Just because I got 11th position. Didn't do well. I did bad for what I can say. Not up to par.

I just let them laugh. As I know I am capable just that I don't how or why I just lost focused in a mist of the event. Being an optimist,I told myself to prove them wrong by getting back the position that I would usually get.

Which is being in the TOP 5.

Preliminary examinations - I took it very serious. Speaking the truth,it was the time that I started to study for my N level examinations too. Yes,they say don't ever study a month or two before N levels but guess what? I did that.

Results came out and 4th position. Though I am still not impressed with my grades. I worked even harder. Though I have to admit I was still very lazy.

I only study very hard when it's like a week before N levels.

Well... It was all in the past already. I felt I should get FOUR 1's. HAHA. Hey,looking on the bright side... To get 2 is also an A. Meaning to say 4 A's. Was quite pleased. To think of those achievements I got during my FOUR YEARS in Secondary School was quite pleasing to the eye.

Best Trainee Award for Elective Module [Digital Animation],Best in Standard or something like that for Social Studies,four straight years collecting award during Speech Day,getting 2nd in class for the whole year in Secondary 3... Not forgetting getting 2nd for N levels.

Ahhhhhh! Goodness me. I love those memories but their in the past. We have to look ahead. I told my parents I got 3. My mother told me to do better next time. She was encouraging me. It's nice to have supportive people around. It makes you feel better.

Wonder how I would fair if I am in a course that interest me so much. Something like Digital Animation or Digital Media Design or ...Digital Audio Video Production. (Did I get that right?)

I really like those kind. It's not that I can't apply for those courses back then,just that I'm thinking about my future. I fear it might be difficult to get jobs. Therefore,being silly if you put it this way... I chose Info-communications Technology.

Hmm? The other day when I was with my mother at Arab Street. We were in this shophouses shop looking at those eggshell vases,the lady asked me how old am I? I told her coming to 17. She then asked what course am I taking? So I told her... "Info-comm".

Her response was... "Oh! Good! My son was from that course too! Girl,I tell you... You won't regret."

Actually,inside - I'm regretting a little because if you talk about interest,I like those that I've mentioned above. However,it isn't that bad. At least I learn something. Digital Animation? Well,I can somehow learn or teach myself on my own. Sometimes I guess we have to make sacrifices.

Hmm... Well,to those who got GPA 4 - You're good. Well? Remember: Humble's the word! I know some would be over-confident. Hey,look at it... Anything is possible.

Today you may be on top,the next day or so who knows someone else may be on top of you?

The key thing is: Just focus and don't give up. If that is what you want,go for it. Give it your best shot. No matter what the end result,try till you get. I always believe in that.

Oh well... I think I better be going now.

Darn. Butt's aching.

Peace out.~