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Friday, April 27, 2007

When people thinks you're this and that. Thinking that you are always a happy and goofy person - Well? That isn't a good thing.

They won't know when you're serious or not and that's very frustrating. It often leaves me hanging frustrated. It's so painful to see that as they may not understand you then.

Sometimes I just feel like screaming my head out and scream at the top of my lungs. It's too painful. It's a feeling that I hate the most. It leaves me being frustrated and that's a very sad fact.

Sometimes I asked myself - If I can understand or at least try to understand a person,why can't people be the same?

I know it's not an easy task but if you put in an effort to try there's difference. Sometimes I'm left sadden as when I think about the sad facts and other matters,it gets me all so in a turmoil.

I am tongue-tied,confused... Frustrated and maybe hurt in certain way. I'm just sadden by that fact that certain people think that I'm always a happy-go-lucky person.

Sheesh. IT'S FRUSTRATING BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T KNOW WHEN YOU'RE SERIOUS.

Just because I always seem to be happy most of the times doesn't mean I'm all the time happy. Even if I'm sad,does anyone know? Can you tell it? I'm sure you can't quite sure tell as mostly I always seem to be happy.

It's really irritating to see that kind of reaction from others and it's annoying to face such matters. It simply sucks.

I'm still a human. Just that they haven't really seen my true colours yet. Well? Maybe not just yet or maybe some might have already.

Sigh. Yes,as it's bothering me at times.

Nevertheless,I kept telling myself to look on the bright side. It's so annoying to the extend I feel like shutting their mouths and shout [censored]. I simply hate the feeling of it. I guess I like being pampered. Call me a pampered girl but when I'm down or whatsoever,I usually keep it to myself. How long can I go on like this?

I just don't know how long it'll last that way as it's really tiring. I want to be pampered. I love being pampered. OF COURSE,there are times we have to put that aside and be tough but sometimes I really need that kind of treatment so as to make me feel better. It's a not so nice feeling when you're down and let's say nobody bothers. It simply hurts even more and that sucks.

I just feel that this world can be cruel at times. How cruel can it can? How much do we have to suffer? I simply don't understand. If only people could make an effort to try to do something to make this world a slightly better world.

No doubt that they'll always be evil people in this world but if the others that don't fall in that category does their part,at least this world would be a little better. Well? Then again,it's your point of view but if we could do something about it - Wouldn't it be better?

That way - You and me - Us - We all can have a better world and better shape to things. What I mean is... We don't have to have so much hate but more love. Wouldn't it be better? For the benefit of everyone.

Well,it's not as simple as we thought but if we try and put in some effort,who knows?

Oh well... Whatever.

This week has been alright for me. Didn't attend CCA today as I'm really really drained.

I'll be attending CCA next week. Yawns. Today is the first time that I'm really really soooooo late. I walk in at about 8.30AM. That's really really late.

Lesson starts at 8AM actually but gosh,I'm so late. Boohoo!

I am just so lazy today. I don't know what's in my mind. This week especially,I get irritated easily and as some might know I have short temper at times and yeah,I did have those. Boohoo!

That's really bad. Sometimes in life,you don't get what you wish for or what you want. If possible,I would always love to be happy all the time. The laughter and the joy - Ahhhh... It simply makes you feel good.

To be angry,I feel I'd turn into a monster. I just don't care about how I react or what I say. Well? That's actually very bad but I can't help it at times. That's why I never like being angry. I always hope that I'll be happy.

When I'm sad,I'll console myself to look on the brighter side. Though it may be hard at times but I'd try. Then again,with those people always thinking that you're happy-go-lucky type,it's hard to deal with it as they would not be able to know how you're really feeling and that's really sad.

That's just a sad fact and I'm sad about that.

Doesn't mean I'm a worry-free person. I have my fears and worries too. I'm just like any other human being. The thing that leaves me frustrated at times is that - I always try my very best to understand the other party and be their listener if I have to but they won't do the same. They just think like what I've mentioned - This and that.

Too annoying to the extend,sometimes I wish I'm a different species. A speices on my own. A unique one as sometimes I feel humans are hyprocrites.

Maybe to some might think I'm a psycho thinking that way but don't you get sick of people at times because of their such behaviours? How annoying can it get? Definitely - WAY TOO ANNOYING.

Erughhhhhh... To be honest,I definitely love concern from friends and hates it when nobody bothers. Know the truth? That's how I feel. It makes me feel good at times and yes,thank you to those friends who bothers and to those who doesn't - WHATEVER! As simple as that... If I have to be mean,I will and simple,next time I'll give them the same treatment.

Oh well... It doesn't matter.

Let god decide and heard of "retribution" / "karma"?
You got it. Well - That is if you know what I mean by that.

Alright,whatever~
Peace out.

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠11:09:00 pm♠

Friday, April 20, 2007

It's been quite a while since I last updated my blog.

Gosh. Time flies and oh boy,it sure is fun fun fun. Well? There were ups and downs along the way but TODAY? It simply kick ass! Though I'm tired now and my legs are aching.

Anyway,let's start off with what I have been doing in the past week or so.

Speech day was really not so memorable I guess? Well,everything was fine except that it was an unexpected one this time around. Didn't call my name?! Gosh. Anyway,it's over already. Besides,on that day itself,which was exactly one week ago - Not only did I attend Speech Day to collect my certificate and award but also in the evening at about 8pm,I went to collect my Scholarship certificate and cheque.

Hmm? To sum it all,it wasn't all that bad though I have to be frank I was disappointed with what happened. I can't hide that fact but I understand that sometimes such mistakes do happen. However,it could have been prevented if they checked it and make sure that everything is in order and all.

Anyway,human make mistakes. We can't do anything about it. This is life and life's like that.

Oh yes,it was also the first time I talk to Bernie in-person. I was kind of nervous I guess. In the beginning when I met him,I didn't make so much eye contact. I'm late actually. He was waiting for me at the bus stop. Gosh. I guess I'm feeling awkward? However,as the conversation goes on... I finally sort of got used to it and I wasn't so nervous as I was earlier then.

It was raining that day but it lasted less than an hour.

I was in quite an awkward position when such thing happened to me as it was my first time. I mean when they didn't mention my name. I was disappointed but I told myself to look on the bright side as there's many other things in this world that are positive. Luckily I was understanding enough. It took me a few days to get over it.

However,I'm cool now. I've erased that off and I'm happy with whatever's available to me. I guess we have to look on the positive side in life. We have to be patient too as in this world,there's always an obstacle that obstructing you and holding you back. With determination and positive-thinking,you'll be fine.

Yes I know there were times we felt like giving up but there's always something motivating you to keep pushing and try harder. I did feel like giving up a few times but the support that my friends are giving me and with positive thinking,it sort of helps me and makes me into a better person.
That inspires me. It's like my energy source.

Moving on now.

On Sunday,Chelsea beat Blackburn. Oh my. It was quite exciting to watch the match. Both teams are really very serious about getting into the FA Cup Finals and as usual - Chelsea - The ones that never wants to lose and always with that never-say-die attitude simply kept going.

The game as to go into Extra Time and oh boy,MICHAEL BALLACK scored! That was sweet. I was very happy but credit to Blackburn. They played well too. They're a bad team. They were causing troubles for Chelsea.

With Chelsea's extra bit of quality we did it! Woohoo!

Meaning to say that - Chelsea will face Manchester United in the FA Cup finals. Oh boy. I don't want to think about it but as usual,I'm always hoping Chelsea to win. Go Chelsea go!

Hmm... On Wednesday night,Chelsea beat West Ham - 4 - 1! Woohoo! Finally I feel that Shaun Wright-Phillps is worth something. Chelsea paid about $24 million punds for him if not wrong and finally,he scores in the Premier League for Chelsea and it wasn't just a tap in. I'm impressed. It was a well-strucked one indeed.

Petr Cech did make a few mistakes but in my eyes,he is still one of the best. He still has a long way to improve and if he is at his best,he'll be great. Best as in really really sharp and focus. For now,he is just good - Not yet at his maximum best.

The scorers on Wednesday night were - Shaun Wright-Philips with TWO goals,Salomon Kalou and Dider Drogba. Drogba's 31st goal of the season and his 19th goal in the Premier League.

Actually I was quite frustrated on Wednesday. In the morning my brother made me angry and in the afternoon I had to wait for my mother for like one and a half hours! Gosh! I was really really very frustrated. Was like a kettle boiling just waiting to explode only.

However,things changed and I sort of calm down. I was to meet my mother between 2 to 2.30pm but she didn't call me! Therefore I was angry as she didn't call to inform that she was there already.

We headed to the bank and she went to close my account. Trust account which was under her name followed by mine as she opened that account when I was like four years old.
Well? I'm old enough to have an account under my own name so yeah... Opened a new account and finally,I got my ATM card.

Oh yes,I also banked in my cheque.

Oh well... After which,my mother and I were hungry so I suggested we head to Downtown East to have lunch. However,while we were walking I changed my mind and decided to head to Pasir Ris Central (Drive 6) to have our lunch.

It's been quite awhile since I last ate the Western Food stall's food. Guess what I ate? Fish and Chips! Yum yum. I miss that.

You know what? Do you know that this week I didn't eat Western Food in school? Yup. For once,I didn't had Fish & Chips for lunch. I had Chicken Rice instead. Well? For a change,it was a good idea I guess. It wasn't that bad. Chicken Rice is nice. One of my favourite food too.

Hmm? Maybe I should eat Chicken Rice next week too. I haven't been eating it for quite a while so it sure was nice to have it again. I mean,for a change - It's a good one. Eating Fish & Chips everyday I think it'll make me sick soon or later.

Yesterday was a tiring day for me as school starts at 9AM and ends at 6pm. However,it ended slightly earlier and that's good. It means we can to go home earlier! My new Engineering Essentials lecturer - Mr To is quite a nice person. He explains clearer.

Well? No offence or disrespect to Mr Peter but I just prefer Mr To because he explains clearer. Mr Peter is good but sometimes the way he explains makes me confused but no disrespect to him as he is also a good teacher. Just that the way he explains confuses me at times.

Oh gosh. I can't believe my Visual Basic lecturer is going to change soon. Mr Peter won't be teaching. He'll be attached to a Polytechnic for a few months if not wrong. I don't know if it's good or bad. I'm neutral about it but maybe the class is so used to Mr Peter as he has been with us for like four months. Besides,he was our Java lecturer.

Oh well... Hopefully the new lecturer is nice.

Oh well...

Hmm? Finally,TODAY - FRIDAY! Finally. Yes,finally. I don't know if it's good or bad. Hmm? Had Sports and Wellness just now and some went to play Basketball whereas me and some others played Football.

I was in the same team as Adib. Fiqah,Razin and Ali were my opponent. I think at least three times the ball hit my leg. I had to block Ali's shot. The last one hurts badly. Oh well? What can I say? This is football. It's a little rough but it can be fun if there's fair play.

Adib was superb. Ali too. I'm really impressed by them.

After school,Fiqah and I went to look for Amelia as she went to queue for the free Cotton Candy. Ended up,we queued for the Cotton Candy. We walked to Simei MRT station and took our respective trains. Amelia took the same train as me,whereas Fiqah took the one that's heading towards Boon Lay.

Amelia was lucky again. Just as we reached the bus interchange - Bus number 88 arrived and she doesn't have to wait. I had to wait for a few minutes. Ok,it wasn't that bad.

I was actually really tired. Reached home I went to my room and sat down for a while before picking clothes to wear for Drama. Went to iron my clothes and then took a shower. I didn't shampoo my hair as I shampooed my hair this morning.

Got dressed and ate lunch. didn't comb my hair first. I was waiting for it to dry. Ok,it didn't dry completely but was almost dry before I tie up my hair. Ok,I asked my mother to tie for me. Well? I tied my hair this morning and I hate to use the hair dryer to dry my fringe.

I left home at about 3.05PM. Waited for the bus and guess what? I didn't realise Renny and Denley were in the bus! I was too blind to notice. Renny was like standing beside me. I didn't realise it was him at first till I realise there was someone and when I looked up - I saw Renny. Beside him was Denley.

Gosh. Too blind to notice. LOL.

Yawns. I'm tired. I'm feeling sleepy. In fact,I almost dozed off in the bus when I was on my way to school for CCA just now.

Was really tired but I didn't feel like that when I had drama just now. I feel sort of energetic. My tiredness were put aside and I was quite eager actually. I didn't know why too.

All I have to say about it is - FUN. I had a good time just now and it really was good. Lots of laughter,lots of discussions and yes,FOCUS.

We have to focus in order to achieve. The people were as usual friendly. It simply makes you feel good to have friendly people around. You feel welcomed. I like that feeling and that's a good sign actually.

Anyway,after Drama - Fiqah and I went to East Point. Treat her to a drink. Ice blended. Hmm... Now now now... Where's my PEARL friend - PEARLINE (Pearl gang leader)? Oh yes,I think I drank her friends just now. Slurp slurp! Nice. I haven't been drinking that for almost a year or so.

It's nice to have a drink with a friend. Especially after a tiring day - It's time to de-stress. Well? It makes me feel good to have a friend to chat with and have drink with after a long day.

Hmm? I'm sure those who knows me might be wondering. They must be thinking if I'm having a dream or something. Yes I know that I seldom treat my friends often but come on,once a while I think it's ok.
Besides,that's what I wanted to do just now. Have a drink and chat to de-stress. Sometimes in life,you have to let go of certain things. Too stress isn't good.

Anyway,I just feel happy about everything today. Oh wait. I forget to mention that I disike the weather! It simply burns. It's been quite warm and humid these few days. Simply can't take the heat.
Oh well... I reached home at about 7.45pm. I haven't eaten my dinner yet by the way. I just don't feel like having dinner. Maybe not just yet but I simply don't feel like eating at the moment. I'm just very tired. I want to chill first.

I'm thinking of taking a nap. A short nap then wake up later to eat and maybe to watch television too. Hmm? I'm not sure about it. Maybe I shouldn't take a nap. It's already 10.05pm.

Alright,I think I'll end here for today.
What can I say? It has been a wonderful day today. I'm just very happy.

La La LA... Peace out.

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠10:06:00 pm♠

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Even though it is not raining nor it is sunny out there,I still feel the heat. It's humid! Singapore is just so humid. Gosh. Boohoo!

Anyway,it's been quite awhile since I last updated my blog. This is the first entry for April. Hmm? Speech Day is this coming Friday. Tonight or should I say early morning tomorrow - Valencia vs Chelsea, Manchester United vs AS Roma.

Go CHELSEA GO! GO CHELSEA GO!

Yes,I definitely want my favourite CHELSEA to win. Oh yes,not forgetting - THANK YOU RIO FERDINAND. It him for that own goal that Manchester United lost. I can't believe it. I reacted by laughing. I just couldn't believe it as I thought Edwin Van Der Sar would kick it away or save the ball but no,it went in!

Surprised me. Oh yes of course THANK YOU to RICARDO CARVALHO too. He was that quiet man of Chelsea to score for Chelsea the only goal of the match. Who would expect Ricardo Carvalho to score? I'm sure most people would expect top scorer Didier Drogba,Andriy Shevchenko or maybe Frank Lampard to score.

Well? In the end,it was Ricardo Carvalho that scored. An unexpected scorer but not bad for a defender. Seriously a defender like him to be able to score goals is quite good actually. He is quite good in headers,just like John Terry but in the absence of John Terry,he has been superb.

The time when Petr Cech just returned to action against Liverpool,we were without any central defenders. Besides,how can you blame Petr Cech? He just returned to action and you can't expect him to be in his best form.

He has been keeping clean sheets for Chelsea ever since then. I'm surprised we still have the most Clean Sheets in the Premier League with 20 if I am not wrong.

Chelsea are just 3 points behind Manchester United now. I really wish Manchester United will drop points soon. Hopefully Chelsea beat them at home and also,I hope Mancheter United will have a couple of draws. I'd be glad if such things happen.

Well? All I can say is... It has been a hard fought competition. It's definitely a two-horse race.
Oh well... Enough football now.

Hmm? Holidays are quite fun actually. Though some would say it's very boring but I'm happy with it. I'm able to stay up late to watch football. Hmm? Also,I can go shopping or window-shopping whenever I want,watch TV at anytime and wake up late!

Well? That's not all. You can also learn something and well? Create more animated graphic interchangable format animation. (Animated GIFs)

I have been quite occupied to the extend I don't have much time to blog but well? I'm free now. HAHA.

Hmm... Gosh. I still don't know what to wear for Speech Day. Should I wear white or all black? Hmm... I'm confused. I like both. You see... The problem with me is that I can be quite fickle-minded. Boohoo! I dislike that.

Anyway,I think I can handle it. Well? I'll decide in a few days time. I hope I still won't be confused in a few days time.

Well? Hopefully.

Anyway,I think I better be off now.
Peace out~

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠4:18:00 pm♠