Monday, September 25, 2006

Saturday, September 23, 2006

2.54AM. Yup,that's the time and I'm still awake. It is a Saturday BUT I have to come back to school to help my English teacher. Oh well... It doesn't matter to me.

It may seem troublesome BUT we should... Errrr? How do I say this? Well? I mean... We should like help sincerely.

Oh well... It wasn't really a fantastic week for me but it was ok. As usual,there are ups and downs. Hmm...? How would you define life? "Life Is Like A Boat?" , "Life Is A Rollercoaster?" , "Life's Like That" ? How would you define? I look at it as... Life Is A Rollercoaster. Life really is like a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes it's up,sometimes it's down and it's like you can go up so fast and the next minute you go down.

Hmm? More like a mountain huh? You climb up - you fall down.

Oh well... I still think that the week before was somehow better. Was it last week or the week before last? I can't quite recall much things as I have been very busy with things and as you can see,I've not been updating my blog for about a week or so.

Besides,you can tell by looking at my entries date. I think for the month of September,it's like I have about five entries at the most. Unlike the rest where I would have more entries.

Gosh,I'm really worried. Now I'm wondering,will I have an emotional breakdown? I'm petrified,I'm anxious... I am feeling pressurised! Drained. My my my. Major exams are just 11 to 12 days time. I fear that I'll breakdown. Will I?

At times I seem confident whereas sometimes I have this fear of not doing it to my expectations.
I have no comments to people who said that my expectations that I set are quite high. To think about it,I think it's true though I don't really think it's that high. I just feel that I am capable of achieving it.

It's really a pain at times. I wish I have someone to tell or talk to at times. Someone whom I can really trust. Someone who can understands me and well? Maybe console me when I'm feeling down?

More like pampering huh? Well? We all have feelings because we're HUMANS and don't tell me you don't need someone to pamper you once in a while? Well,if you don't then good for you.

After all,it seems I do have a fragile heart but am always keeping it strong because I have an invisible plaster! LOL.

Well? I may have a fragile heart but no one is able to see it as I don't show it. I'm not that type to show those as it's not me to do so.

Sometimes people just have those comments and start accusing you this and that and in a way,it sort of pissed me off. Not only it pisses me off,I am hurt actually.

Saying in the future I'll be like those aunties who'll compare their child's results? Come on. That's not me. Why would I do such things? Ok,I do have a playful side. I like to tease people at times but hey,that? That's not me at all.

That's for sure. I know myself well. I still think that sometmes it's better to appear "mean". Then again,whenever I'm like that,they have this impression - Arrogant.

I just wish that people would just keep certain comments to themselves. Who are they to judge? Well? It's your opinion but how well do you know the person?

If you say you know me well and start with all those accusations then you're wrong. I'm not saying I'm always right but this is fact. Why do I say that? Simple. I know the person I am. I know myself well. So who are you to judge people?

If you know me well then that's another story but if you don't,I suggest you keep everything to yourself. I am so sick and tired with all those.

Like what I've mentioned just now,I was actually refering to someone. Simply can't stand him.
Friday Friday.... Sheesh. Joel is so irritating today. It's a crazy world after all.

All types of things in this world. All sort of people.

The crazy,the hypocrite,the backstabbers - Tsk!

Yawns! I think I better be going. I've to be there by 10AM to meet Ms Cindy Soh and Wang Junyong.

Wang's a nice friend actually. I mean his a nice person. I'm sure that girl that he likes is really a lucky one. Oops.

Too much exposure. =D

That's it.
Peace out.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

That's how I'm feeling today. It's like I never thought I would be quite relaxed today.

The thought of Xiaoqiang not coming to school today this morning was like "Oh no!". Yes,that sort of thought keeps reminding me till I was like... "Oh boy! What will my day be?"

It's like I'm so used to having Xiaoqiang to talk to and stuff like that and without her today,I never thought it would be quite alright.

For the first time,I had lunch with Darlene. Yes,I HAD LUNCH WITH DARLENE.

She's quite shocked to see me eat in school actually. It's like during the breaks,at the most I'll just have some light snacks or just buy a drink.

It's nice to have her eating lunch with me and catch up with each other. I was quite happy to see her actually. For the past days,she wasn't in school so I was surprised to see her.

It was nice to have friends but it's a plus plus! If there's someone I'm quite close to and someone whom I can really talk to that's really a PLUS! Don't get me wrong. I'm not doing Mathematics. I was just saying PLUS equals to good thing.

Guess it wasn't that bad after all. In fact,it was a good day I'd say.

Had PE just now. It was nice when classmates calling "Frank Lampard!" or "John Terry!" because I really like them.

Hmm? Maybe next time they should call me "Xabi Alonso!" Haha. Well? Frank Lampard and John Terry isn't that bad. In fact,their my favourite players. No comments.

I was quite tired actually but somehow I think the tackle made me feel good. I counter-attacked Dwayne but the ball went to Paramjeet and I tackle for the ball and yes! I kicked the ball with power to Wati and yay! She scored!

It made me feel good about it. Seriously,it somehow changed my mood and my day was brighten in a way. I didn't mind not scoring. I just want to assist and give it my best to my team.

Guess that is why I didn't play in midfield nor forward. Instead,I play as a defender... again.

I don't know but it seems that I sort of like playing as a defender. Hmm? Coming to realise it,I think I can be quite aggressive at times. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hmm... I wonder.

Anyway,I think this week wasn't that bad. It's actually a smooth flowing week though at times in the beginning,I may feel a little pressured in a way. Eventually,it worked out well.

To think about it,I didn't expect my gut instinct to be really that fantastic this week. I just predicted that database may come out and I just had this thought will it come out? Guess what? It did! Oh my! Too good to be true. Who would have thought it'll come out? Even Xiaoqiang don't think it'll come out and I remember asking her before the paper.

"Will database come out? What if it comes out? How?" Her reply was,"Won't lah!"

Very confident huh? I just have this feeling that it may come out and speak of the devil! It did came out.

Gut instinct again and I think you have to trust your heart.

I guess another thing that made me feel happy was also Chelsea beat Werder Bremen last night. 2 - 0. Who are the scorers? Michael Essien and Michael Ballack. Hmm? Michael's the man! Two MICHAEL scoring. Nice but Michael ESSIEN was named Man Of The Match.

I'm so happy for Chelsea. I hope they'll get three points this weekend against Liverpool. Go CHELSEA GO! 8.25PM,live on ESPN. Another home game for Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Wait a minute... Xabi ALONSO! Oh yeah,I can get to see Xabi!!

Then again,I want the home side to win.

Well... GO CHELSEA! Do your best and get three points again.


As for now... I'm off.
Peace out.

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠9:31:00 pm♠

Thursday, September 07, 2006

I've not been updating my blog for quite sometime. Let me see? This is my first entry for the month of September. I think the last entry was on the 31st of August.

Anyway,here I am! Just another evening doing nothing much but listening to music and surfing the net. Yes,the usual if you say so. Hmm? What more can I do? Oh yes,I forgot - BLOG! I've yet to complete my homework. Sometimes I wish I have more time. It seems like time is running out. Major exams are like next month and I'm yet to work extra hard or should I say harder to achieve what I want.

Sure I did better than mid-years but it wasn't up to par. At least to me that is. I want more. Make it three distinctions if not four. I would be happy if I achieve that.

I am not worried for my English. I don't get distinctions. That sucks! I really have to work harder. I just lost that sense of mine. I used to get distinctions and this year,I couldn't believe I didn't get distinction for English.

In fact,no one in the class got a distinction. It's only like a B,no A's. I'm under B! Humph! How horrible! I'm not happy about it. I want my distinction back!
Well? Guess I've to work harder.

Some of my friends were like... "Gosh,you're killing yourself" and I'll be like... "No,I'm not."

I mean if you know that you can achieve it,are you just going to let it go just like that? Come on. It isn't very me if I'll just push it aside and let it happen by itself or in other words "Let nature takes it course". If you put it that way but well? I'm not just going to let that happen.

I will and I must do something about it. I don't want to regret again. Four years ago and coming back to now which is four years later,I'm sure I don't want the past to repeat itself.

Once is enough. I'll be a big fool if I let it happen the second time which I am not going to. Somehow,life can be complicated at times whereas if I were to look back and think,at times we make our lives complicated.

Yeah,life can be complicated at times with all those unexpected things but some things you can make it un-complicated. Why do you want to make life complicated when you can make it simple?

There are times that things come unexpectedly and yeah,it's complicated but when you have the power to decide,are you going to make matters complicated or simple?

Sometimes I wonder what are in our minds. If only it was easy to understand the other person and be able to read their minds but the truth is,there's no way we could read minds.

We're not superbeings. We're HUMAN beings. We all have feelings,we all have emotions and we are unpredictable.

At times we do things without thinking. There are many reasons why sometimes we just do things which make us look like an "idiot". It may be due to peer pressure,going with flow as in follow the crowd or maybe we just want to try?

Whatever it is,responsibility is the word. Be responsible for your actions and not hide if should anything go wrong.

Then again,you have to have the brains. Don't let others control you. You should stand firm and fight for your rights. This is what I notice,some girls are easily being controlled. They don't stand up for themselves.

I don't let others take advantage of me and I think you MUSTN'T let others take advantage of you. Come on silly,wake up!

If someone goes beyond the limits,someone has to stop that person. Are you just going to watch everything happen before your eyes and you know that the other person is doing something wrong?

You have to stop that person. Be a stopper and "educate" the other. ...What do I mean by educate? You decide.

I guess there are all sorts of people in this world. Well? You decide who you want to mix with and make the right decisions.

Talking about people. Now I wonder,why do us teenagers want to get into a relationship? Infatuation or love? Most of those teenagers usually have a short relationship. I don't like the idea of it. I prefer long-term relationship.

Then there are some people who keep asking me if I ever thought of having a special someone. In short,to have a steady. Well? It never cross my mind. Seriously. Even if I do like someone,this question never cross my mind. Yes,four years but you know what? I never thought about it.

I guess I just haven't found someone right yet. Well? What's the hurry? There ain't no hurry to it. I don't understand why people rush to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

Hmm? Maybe I'm just not ready yet. Besides,there are lots of things to do in this world. That can come later. I prefer to take things step-by-step. Get down to basics and start on it. Work on it. Don't jump to any of it first.

I noticed that to some it's more like a habit thing. You go steady with somone then break up. After the break up,you go steady with someone else. You know that kind of thing.

I don't quite favour that idea but it's happening. What can I say?

Then there's some who wants to get married young. I'm not saying it's a bad idea. It's how mature you handle it. There are cases whereby getting married at a young age soon result to divorce.

I'm not against anything but I just feel that,that isn't the way.

Sure,sometimes we're unsure ourselves but like I've mentioned earlier - RESPONSIBILITY. Are you up to it?

It's never easy in this world. There are so many things yet to overcome but it's how you look at it and how you handle it.

Nevertheless,it is always your choice to make. For the good or for the bad? Definitely for the good.

No human in this world has never made a mistake. We are not superbeings but human beings.

Well? For now,I'll have to say... So many things yet so little time.

Can I have a time machine that could take me back to the beginning of the year? Am I able to do that? Can I?

DREAM ON! That will never happen and can never happen. I guess I just have to look ahead.

The future is in your hands... (Muahahahaha!) *LOL. I'm sounding evil. Hey! I'm not.*


Oh well... I've to go now.
P.O! [P.O? I mean... PEACE OUT!]

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠6:42:00 pm♠