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My Past Illusions
// My Illusions*
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Ho ho!
I'm back! Blogging. Hmm? Haven't been blogging for about a week? Erm...? Yeah.
Oh well... At least I'm here now. Gosh. It's quite a stressful week I guess. Exams! Exams! EXAMS!! Was really upset with my Science paper just now. Oh my. I don't know if I'm able to pass or not. =( Really disappointed. Meaning to say,I've to do very well for my MCQs already. *sigh* What a day.
Like I always tell others,"Look on the bright side". I guess I have to do that too. I'm still quite disappointed actually. Or rather,very. =( How how how?!!!
Oh well... Had Maths paper 2 also. I think the paper's a fair one. I won't say it's very difficult nor will I say difficult. I think I'll be able to pass that paper.
Alright,let's not talk about examination stuff already. The more I think,I'll be even more worried than now.
I can deny
But I can't lie to myself
The thought of you
It's in my mind
Everytime
I just want to
But I can't
I wish I could
I would if I could
My heart's beating
When I'm sleeping
I wish my dreams are for real
If it was real
This wound will heal
I'm missing you
Everytime I look at you
I wouldn't want to look
To miss someone
To miss somebody
Someone and somebody
Nobody?
We're more like nobody to each other
I see a shadow
I can't see you
You can't see me too
That's what our eyes sees
May I go back to the past?
Let's start from the beginning
The beginning where we started...
The truth is
I need to get over it
...Over you
-D-Illusionist-
Hmm? Sometimes I wonder,what really is in my mind. Oh,how I wish I could know it all. If only I know all the answers to it and why.
Sounds more like a mystery? Hmm...? Da Vinci Code? Haha. Oh well... I just woke up actually about 15 minutes to 25 minutes ago.
Currently listening to A State Of Trance 2004: "Naked Angel" by Armin van Buuren. Quite a nice one. Next on my play list is "For An Angel" by Paul van Dyke. All trance for now. Yesterday was listening to Rock/Pop. Trance is actually quite nice. I also listen to Techno at times but not a hardcore techno freak. Hmm? Trance sounds better than it. It was "Adagio for Strings" (by DJ Tiesto) that brought me to the world of trance I guess.
If it weren't for that,I won't be listening to trance. Well? Maybe a few songs only but after listening to "Adagio for Strings",it actually kind of open up the door of trance. I started to like it and yeah,ditto!
"Welcome to the World Of Trance!"
Another nice song would be "Love Comes Again" by DJ Tiesto. "Lord of Trance" - DJ Tiesto,"Destination Sunshine" - DJ Johan Gielen,"Sweet Misery" - DJ Tiesto,"Forever Today" - DJ Tiesto,"Ibiza Euphoria" - Paul van Dyke. Those are actually my favourite songs. =)
Oh well... Let's not talk about trance already.
Hmm? I noticed that my MSN Messenger contacts some are in love,whereas some aren't. They're out of love I guess. Just by looking at it,they're like "It sucks",etc.
I wonder,what really is in their mind. Why be attached? You know that kind of questions. You know,I wonder what do they mean by that? Is it just more of an infatuation whereby you like someone or that someone special whom you're with till they where you lose that feeling and you break with that person?
I don't know why to some it isn't a big deal. I mean it may be something minor but then again,I noticed to some it's more of a changing clothes kind of thing to them. Let's get this straight - They're not serious.
Maybe some might say "At this age? Of course not serious."
Hmm...? Not serious? Well,I take things seriously. That's one thing for sure. Let's not talk about the past. Maybe few years ago I wasn't that serious. Let's start from now. I am serious with the things I do. I want to achieve achieve ACHIEVE! That's what I want to do.
With that you've read earlier on,you should know what or should I say who I'm referring to. A fool? You can say that if you want. I'm a blind fool I guess but even a fool has some pride. I have my pride.
It's been years. Nothing between us but this is how I feel for you. I may not be to your expectations but deep down inside me,I really do care. Be it as a friend or slightly more than that. I really do care and all I want to see is to see you happy. To see you happy,makes me happy.
I know it sounds stupid. Then again,I can't help it. This is how I'm feeling. This is what my heart's been aching. When it comes to this,there I go again - weak. I'm trying to be strong here. Trying to stand up and say "I'm okay." Whatever the circumstances,I believe I can fight till the end and that's what I'm gonna do. With determination,here I am fighting till the end.
Oh well... I just don't whatelse to say.
At times when I feel down,I really feel or hope that someone may or might cheer me up. When I'm feeling down,nobody can tell actually. I try to put a happy face and tell myself to look on the bright side. I struggle to keep things cool. Only my soul knows how painful it may be.
I really do feel that I need someone to pamper me at times. I want someone to console me when I'm down. Make me feel better. Cheer me up. Make me laugh. Make me forget everything. That's all I want.
I mean we're humans right? We all need someone to pamper us once a while. =) So,nothing wrong with that right? =)
It's natural I guess. When we are down,we really need someone to put a smile to our face. We want someone to listen to us. I understand how it feels,that's why I make it a point to listen to others when their feeling down and when they needed someone to talk to. I'll try to cheer them up and make them feel better. I may not have the powers to instantly make someone happy or whatsoever but the least I could do is to listen and try to make them feel better.
=) I believe that we all need someone to listen to us.
What can I say after all? This world can be very cruel at times. WAIT. Let me get this straight. God is fair to us. He is but human beings are never fair. When they are greedy or jealous,that's where all the evil things start to come about. Sheesh. I wonder what's in their mind.
Then again,humans. So it's a natural thing. Nobody's the same. We're all different. Like what they say,if everybody's the same then this world will be very boring. Hmm? I can agree with that. Then again,I hate evil people. Oh.....I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!! LOL.
Seriously,I just can't stand evil people. I feel like whacking them. =X Oops. Arghhhhh!! I mean god give you a brain to think so why do such stuff and what have you.
Another issue here is that I notice some guys who were once that goodie good guy turns bad. It's sad to see that. Why must you be bad when you were once a good guy!? Sheesh. Snap,snap. That's how people turn bad. I mean,it's easy to turn bad whereas it's quite difficult to turn over a new leaf.
How I wish they remain that way. I mean they should! They shouldn't turn bad,they should actually be a better person. I mean,what is wrong with this world?! Umm,nothing wrong with the world. It's the people that makes it so wrong. Come on,snap it. HELLO! Welcome to reality!
Whereas some guys are just too over to an extend where they couldn't control themselves. Ahem. Erm? You know. I'm actually surprised by how they "behave". For a moment there,they didn't like those "stuff" but it shocked me when they start to say such stuff that they usually don't and use such words.
That really shocked me. I didn't expect that person to be that way. As usually that person will be "Those are nonsense." You know that kind of stuff where he'll like deny and say hey,have some respect but now it seems his in that category or maybe soon to be labelled as pervert? Hmm? It's just a matter of time I guess. Oops. =X I hope that person won't end up being a pervert. I mean,come on! Where's that person whom you used to be?!
You know that person could even call me a "pervert". I mean,what the hell? Haha. Hmm...? Where did I go wrong? Hey,I'm not. Hey,since when am I one? I don't get it. I'm not! It's not as if I go round stealing people's or rather steal guy's underwear right? Maybe some times when I speak,I'll get a little carried away but hey,I'm not. =)
I mean it's the truth ya? Sometimes you people never tug your shirt in properly or didn't pull ur pants up and oh... Such "wonderful" colours huh? Brown,grey,black... Green,red. Hmm... What's next? What other colours huh? When I tell them that,like "Pull up your pants,I could see such the colour." They're like "Pervert!" LOL. But it's not like as if I pull down your pants or something right? Or like what I've mention. Stealing it. LOL.
Oh well... Enough "colours" already.
Hmm? Such long entries again. Well,welcome back D! =)
I simply love to have long entries. Alright,I guess I should be going. That's it.
Hit it!
I'm gone.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠9:09:00 pm♠
// D: Illusionist
+ Diane
+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist
+ 0ctober 4th 1990
+ Libra
+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)
+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)
BLUE IS THE COLOUR
// What does your sleeping position says about you?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.
If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope
It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog
// What's your love type
Your Love Type: ISFJ
In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.
Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.
Best matches: ESTP or ESFP
// Are you too picky when it comes to men?
You Are Picky When it Counts
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!
// What kind of sexy girl are you?
You Are Fun Sexy
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!
// What kind of girl are you?
You are a Brainy Girl!
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!
// Are you spoiled?
You Are 24% Spoiled
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.
// What flavour Pocky are you?
You Are Flan Pocky
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!
// Could you be violent?
There's a Chance You Could Be Violent
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.
// Speed test
95 words
// —The Voice Within—
// Other Illusionist♠
Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]
Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han
The Other Side Of D
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// Misc*
My Past Entries (2003 *February* - 2005 *January*)
March 2005 ;
April 2005 ;
May 2005 ;
June 2005 ;
July 2005 ;
August 2005 ;
September 2005 ;
October 2005 ;
November 2005 ;
December 2005 ;
January 2006 ;
February 2006 ;
March 2006 ;
April 2006 ;
May 2006 ;
June 2006 ;
July 2006 ;
August 2006 ;
September 2006 ;
October 2006 ;
November 2006 ;
December 2006 ;
January 2007 ;
February 2007 ;
March 2007 ;
April 2007 ;
May 2007 ;
June 2007 ;
July 2007 ;
August 2007 ;
September 2007 ;
October 2007 ;
November 2007 ;
December 2007 ;
January 2008 ;
February 2008 ;
March 2008 ;
April 2008 ;
May 2008 ;
June 2008 ;
July 2008 ;
August 2008 ;
September 2008 ;
October 2008 ;
November 2008 ;
December 2008 ;
January 2009 ;
February 2009 ;
March 2009 ;
April 2009 ;
May 2009 ;
June 2009 ;
July 2009 ;
August 2009 ;
September 2009 ;
October 2009 ;
December 2009 ;
January 2010 ;
March 2010 ;
May 2010 ;
August 2010 ;
October 2010 ;
December 2010 ;
March 2011 ;
September 2011 ;
December 2011 ;
April 2012 ;
+*-*+