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// My Illusions*

Thursday, March 30, 2006

What is love?
What is forever?
Forever love?
Love forever?
Can someone define me the terms?
What does it really mean?
Do you mean it?
Or are you just a bean?

Hmm... Sometimes I wonder what do they really mean by "Forever". What is forever to you? Do you really mean it or do you just say it for the sake of it? To sweeten your words is it? Or is it sincere?

Sometimes I wonder,what are people thinking. I've to admit that I at times get myself into that kind of situation whereby I just talk without realising what I'm talking about. BUT -- I'm not going to make the same mistakes again. Learn from it. Be someone better. =)

What is love then? Can someone define "Love"? I really want to know what it really means. Is it just a four letter word? Is it something that you use it for fun as the word seems rather fun? Come on. Define the terms.

I wouldn't dare to use "Love" as it's a strong word and it has a strong meaning to it. I mean,that word is way to powerful though it may only seem to be just a four letter word. Sometimes when I look at some people's - erm? Let's say MSN nickname or Friendster profile. "Dear dear,I love you forever. I want to be with you forever!"

Hmm? Have you ever wonder if they ever mean it or is it just the feeling that they get? Feeling as in having that kind of feel to the extend that nothing else matters to you except your relationship. Hmm? How do I explain this in clearer terms? Oh well... Hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

I know how it feels. We're all humans right? At one time of a point or another,you'll feel that way. Even liking someone you'll be like talking about the person most of the times right?

Example:
"His so cute! I think I like him."
"She's so cute! I wanna be with her!"
"Ain't he hot?"
"She's hot."

You know that kind of taunts you'll give? It's natural. We're humans. Humans have emotions. We have feelings. What can I say after all? We're like these. We're created like this,so whatelse can we do or say?

BUT I can't stand flirts. Seriously. I mean,some people just go steady because they want status. In other words,copycat. You see what people have,you want. What is this?? Have you lost your mind or what? HELLO! EARTH TO ... wake up!

Ridiculous. Simply ridiculous. Tsk tsk. Shame on you. I know some of friends do. Don't know what their thinking but let's just hope they'll realise it. I don't want to comment. I could only advice but if you don't want to take it then,what am I suppose to do? Whack you? LOL. Can't be doing that right? What rights do I have to do such stuff?

Alright,moving back to the topic. Well,to some - going steady,in their own term means getting to know someone better. Hmm? I never really thought about it. Seriously.

Besides,being attached - have you ever ask yourself this question? "Am I ready?"

Hmm? Don't know but I guess it's the attraction that's why both of them agreed. I don't care what people want to say. Say like "Eh,don't have steady? Haha!"

You know that kind. *roll eyes* Oh please. Come on! Get real! Get a life ya? I mean,there are way more important things that this. To me,if only I'm ready then I'll go on but if I'm not,why waste time?

Don't force yourself. Even if you do,soon or later you'll go your own seperate ways. Isn't it a waste of time? Hmm... Yeah,just think about it. Reflect.

Don't know what their thinking. Oh well...

Darn. I get irritated easily today. Whenever someone irritates me I sort of like flare up? Hmm? Oh my but then,luckily it wasn't that bad. Just a little irritation like someone pushing me to do stuff or something. I simply can't stand it. But hey,look on the bright side - SMILE!

Oh goodie. Tomorrow's Friday but darn,there goes my Friday just like that. SPORTS DAY tomorrow. Hur hur! I don't know if it's a good thing or is it boring? Hmm? I wonder. Am I going to bring my Adidas cap tomorrow?

Hmm? I haven't used it yet. Only once when I was talking pictures and that's it. I still have the label attached to it. It's well? Untouched.

It's been around for months. Hmm? About four to five months. Oh well... I'll consider.

Anyway,I've to do my homework soon. Oh my,the wheather's really hot. The heat. Kept fanning myself. I simply cannot take the heat. Arghhhhh!! Too hot = Complain. Too cold = Leg cramp. LOL.

Let me see what homework I have. Oh,I haven't finish my Maths and English worksheet. English worksheet left with 1 page if not wrong. Oh goodie but that haven't include Elements of Office Administration (E.O.A). It's stupid. Darn,what to do but to do.

No choice. Oh,wait. There is. Don't do! Haha but then I can't just not do. I don't feel right. Unlike in Primary Six. Haha. Don't do Maths worksheet,blah blah.

I wasn't from the best EM2 class. In fact,the last EM2 class. LOL. B class. That's how my school system goes but I don't think it applies for now. My brother's in the F class. I have no problems with English. It has always been my favourite subject and I've never failed. The subject that I've always fail is CHINESE.

My Chinese simply sucks. I ain't good at it. That is why I usually speak English or should I say ALWAYS speak English and at times malay. Chinese? Hmm? I sound funny when I talk only those common words may not sound that funny but still,I feel I'm like a fool.

I've been studying Chinese since I was in K1. Hard to believe or shock? Still,I couldn't pick the language up. I feel English is easier than Chinese. Chinese is just isn't for me. TOO much? Hmm?

I still remember back then in primary school where my chinese teacher will always think that I'm malay and suggest me to study malay. What the...?! Are they blind? Can't they see my name? Oh. What's the LIM for? For fun? Interesting huh? Couldn't believe they still can think that way.

Of course I'm a CHINESE! IF not,tell me what's the LIM for? Sheesh. Haha. I still remember my primary five form teacher asking me if I'm malay. He was like "Your father malay,mother chinese?" LOL. I wanted to laugh but I held the laughter back. Come on!! Same surname yet you don't know? Fascinating.

Just because I can speak Malay,doesn't mean I'm a malay. Yes,my mother is a malay but her malay is just average. Then again,she's not 100% pure malay. My grandmother is a peranakan. Don't have to say about my mother's side. It's complicated. My great great great blah blah blah is Indonesian,blah blah blah. Yeah. Complicated. I'm mixed up. Haha.

Sometimes I wonder,what's the brain for? Since people ask such things,what is the brain use for then? Interesting huh?

Same surname,with such surname - Blah blah blah. What do you think? Forget Hokkien - which is my dialect. I can't even pick up CHINESE. Sheesh. Malay? Well,it's easier than Chinese I guess. I can't understand my grandmother as she's always speaking in Hokkien and I'm like so gong (blur). Don't quite understand her and my dad's like the interpreter.

Oh well,what can I say? Nobody's perfect.

Though I wish at times I am but just look at it this way,if everyone's perfect - what would this world turn out to be? Will it be peaceful or more competitive? Hmm?

Define that.

Alright,I guess I should be doing my homework. Don't want to sleep late. I'm already feeling a little tired.

As for now...

Peace out.

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠9:56:00 pm♠

// D: Illusionist

+ Diane

+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist

+ 0ctober 4th 1990

+ Libra

+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)

+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)

^{BLUE IS THE COLOUR}

// What does your sleeping position says about you?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

// What's your love type

Your Love Type: ISFJ

The Nurturer

In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.

Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.

Best matches: ESTP or ESFP

What's Your Love Type?

// Are you too picky when it comes to men?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

// What kind of sexy girl are you?

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

// What kind of girl are you?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

// Are you spoiled?

You Are 24% Spoiled

You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head.
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.

Are You Spoiled?

// What flavour Pocky are you?

You Are Flan Pocky

Your attitude: modern and offbeat
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

// Could you be violent?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

// Speed test
95 words

Speed test

// —The Voice Within—

// Other Illusionist♠

Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]

Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han

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