W E L C ♠ M E
// My Illusions*
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Am I happy? Sad or confused?
I'm actually very sadden by the fact that my primary school friends and I are drifting apart. Our friendship is not like last time. I think there's tears just waiting to flow out of my eyes. Sometimes I just become dumbfounded. I don't know what to say. I try to sort things out but it seems it isn't like the usual.
We may laugh,joke and so whatsoever but the feel of it isn't the same. Can somebody tell me why? I'm actually really sadden by it. I wish things could be like last time. Say whatever you want. You may say I don't learn how to move on and so on but hey when you were a peanut,those were the friends who support you and stuff like that. You may be someone right now as in terms of CCA rank,the position you're in,etc. In other words,successful. You're still a someone.
I feel very small at times. I don't know what to do or say. I'm a little confused I guess. My heart hurts to accept the fact. What can I say after all? People change. Things change. Anything's possible. One minute you're this,the next minute you're somebodyelse. Creepy huh?
Everyone change over the years but not to the extend that you're not the same person anymore. I admit I made a lot of mistakes. I was a little foolish I guess but I'm willing to change. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes. It isn't worth it. Seriously. Then again,I'm still the same me in a certain way. I'm still that crappy one who likes to joke around and fool around and laugh. That's still the same me. I talk about stuff. Oh? Well... The usual. That's still part of me. The hot-tempered fella? Oh yeah... Still me but not as bad as last time. I'm trying my very best to be a "cool-tempered" person. =D
Hmm... I think after typing this,it sort of ease me. I don't feel very sad already. Still,it's a sad thing. Years of friendship,years we've been through. Your words,your smile. Just us,but why does it have to end up like this? *sigh*
It's really a heartache. I don't understand why. I try to catch up and get things sailing again but it seems that the sail won't sail anymore. At times I choose to forget about it for awhile. Put it aside and concentrate on other things. Then again,I can't run away from the fact.
Oh well......... Let god guide us through and let me make the wise decisions. Time will then determine about it. I have no power,I have no magic. I can only make a wise choice and not make mistakes.
Happy? Hmm... There's a happy part in my life. I have a good friend in school. We crap around and stuff like that. It sort of de-stress me. I really hope our friendship will get even better. I'm quite pleased actually. Just about a year or two we're already quite good. We weren't very close three years ago. Things start to turn better only last year. 2003 we were in the same class but only in 2005 we're closer. In 2004,we were somehow in good terms. Now 2006,we're even closer. I'm so happy.
God is so kind. Thank you.
Sometimes in life,I guess we can take some but we also have to give up some. Why can't I have both? Sometimes I ask myself that question. "Why?" Sometimes I look at those people,they can have almost everything they want and things come to them easily. I wish I was like that then again,everything happens for a reason. Hmm? I wonder what's the reason. I can't seem to figure what's it but I guess someday I will find the reason behind it.
At times when I reflect at the things that I've done in the past. I feel stupid for whatever have happened. I shouldn't be doing quite a number of things. I guess I wasn't thinking straight. I forgot about the "What IF" question. As time passes,I begin to be more reflective instead of being the sort of perfectionist type. You have to be more realistic. Wake up! This is reality. This world can be very cruel. I mean,the people around can be very cruel so you have to be realistic.
Sometimes I don't know what they really want. At times,I don't know what I want. What are my needs? What are my wants? Do I really need it or it's just an additional thing? We're all humans. We all make mistakes but if you're willing to change,that makes you a better person. It does make me feel better. If you were to reflect then and now you'll be like "Wow,I change a lot."
Ain't that cool? We become a better person.
Alright,I'll continue later.
I'm off to watch television.
Peace out.
I'm actually very sadden by the fact that my primary school friends and I are drifting apart. Our friendship is not like last time. I think there's tears just waiting to flow out of my eyes. Sometimes I just become dumbfounded. I don't know what to say. I try to sort things out but it seems it isn't like the usual.
We may laugh,joke and so whatsoever but the feel of it isn't the same. Can somebody tell me why? I'm actually really sadden by it. I wish things could be like last time. Say whatever you want. You may say I don't learn how to move on and so on but hey when you were a peanut,those were the friends who support you and stuff like that. You may be someone right now as in terms of CCA rank,the position you're in,etc. In other words,successful. You're still a someone.
I feel very small at times. I don't know what to do or say. I'm a little confused I guess. My heart hurts to accept the fact. What can I say after all? People change. Things change. Anything's possible. One minute you're this,the next minute you're somebodyelse. Creepy huh?
Everyone change over the years but not to the extend that you're not the same person anymore. I admit I made a lot of mistakes. I was a little foolish I guess but I'm willing to change. I don't want to repeat the same mistakes. It isn't worth it. Seriously. Then again,I'm still the same me in a certain way. I'm still that crappy one who likes to joke around and fool around and laugh. That's still the same me. I talk about stuff. Oh? Well... The usual. That's still part of me. The hot-tempered fella? Oh yeah... Still me but not as bad as last time. I'm trying my very best to be a "cool-tempered" person. =D
Hmm... I think after typing this,it sort of ease me. I don't feel very sad already. Still,it's a sad thing. Years of friendship,years we've been through. Your words,your smile. Just us,but why does it have to end up like this? *sigh*
It's really a heartache. I don't understand why. I try to catch up and get things sailing again but it seems that the sail won't sail anymore. At times I choose to forget about it for awhile. Put it aside and concentrate on other things. Then again,I can't run away from the fact.
Oh well......... Let god guide us through and let me make the wise decisions. Time will then determine about it. I have no power,I have no magic. I can only make a wise choice and not make mistakes.
Happy? Hmm... There's a happy part in my life. I have a good friend in school. We crap around and stuff like that. It sort of de-stress me. I really hope our friendship will get even better. I'm quite pleased actually. Just about a year or two we're already quite good. We weren't very close three years ago. Things start to turn better only last year. 2003 we were in the same class but only in 2005 we're closer. In 2004,we were somehow in good terms. Now 2006,we're even closer. I'm so happy.
God is so kind. Thank you.
Sometimes in life,I guess we can take some but we also have to give up some. Why can't I have both? Sometimes I ask myself that question. "Why?" Sometimes I look at those people,they can have almost everything they want and things come to them easily. I wish I was like that then again,everything happens for a reason. Hmm? I wonder what's the reason. I can't seem to figure what's it but I guess someday I will find the reason behind it.
At times when I reflect at the things that I've done in the past. I feel stupid for whatever have happened. I shouldn't be doing quite a number of things. I guess I wasn't thinking straight. I forgot about the "What IF" question. As time passes,I begin to be more reflective instead of being the sort of perfectionist type. You have to be more realistic. Wake up! This is reality. This world can be very cruel. I mean,the people around can be very cruel so you have to be realistic.
Sometimes I don't know what they really want. At times,I don't know what I want. What are my needs? What are my wants? Do I really need it or it's just an additional thing? We're all humans. We all make mistakes but if you're willing to change,that makes you a better person. It does make me feel better. If you were to reflect then and now you'll be like "Wow,I change a lot."
Ain't that cool? We become a better person.
Alright,I'll continue later.
I'm off to watch television.
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠9:40:00 pm♠
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Eternity ~ Memory of Lightwaves ~ ~ ~ Final Fantasy-X 2.
Oh yeah. I love that song. Very relaxing and it's a piano piece! Well? The song that you're listening to at the moment in my blog is "Eternity" but it's in MIDI. The one that I'm listening to on my computer now is a MP3 one. La La LA... Hmm? I also think the MIDI type is also nice. I have "To Zanarkand" MP3.
Oh well... Let's not talk about it already.
Hmm? I just came home. Went shopping earlier on. La La LA. Went to Compass Point. Yesterday went to Marina Square and Suntec City. What can I say after all? Suntec City is one of my favourite place. Marina Square too. =D
Enough of shopping already. My legs are tired. Aww... Poor legs. Haha. Alright... Hmm? Goodie! Chelsea won! Chelsea 2,Portsmouth 0. Watched the match earlier on. Err? Ok,last night but it ended at about 1AM. The kick off was like at about 11PM. Frank Lampard scored! =D Oh... And not forgetting Arjen Robben. Chelsea is still 1st. Followed by Manchester United and Liverpool. Chelsea is leading with 69 points. Oh goodie. =D
Oh my. It's like I've been so into soccer lately. Sheesh. I just realised that. =X In the past,I watch for fun but now it's like I'm sort of addicted? Am I? It's like I'll really keep updating myself about Chelsea's next match and happenings. Oh my. Back then when I was a fan of Manchester United and Liverpool I'm not like this. Dot dot dot... Yup. More dots. I'm speechless I guess. I can't find any words to say already. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ok,enough of soccer.
Guys guys guys. Oh my. Hmm? What's your ideal kind of guy? Sometimes we like those type but end up we like someone who really isn't that type that you've always dream of. Expect the unexpected? Hmm...?
I like someone with broad shoulders. Tanned. Spiky hair. Someone cheerful,have a good sense of humor. Charming smile. Oh my. I must be dream huh? Get real!
Well? That's my ideal type of guy. Then again,we have to be realistic. Sometimes we actually didn't fall for the type that we actually wanted. What can I say after all? If you like someone,you'll not think about that ideal type of thing. Hmm? I don't know to some but I've ever fall for someone who's actually not my ideal type of guy. IDEAL as in broad shoulders,tall and tanned that type. Well? Maybe their tanned but their not the ones that I'll stare and drool. Haha
Ok. What I meant was their body. =X Oops. I somehow will get attracted to those macho guys. Those with very nice body. Oh my. =X Then again,I'll forget about that. I only care about who he is and I like him for who he is and what he is. =) I think that's more important.
Anyway,nobody's perfect. We can't change people to be what we want. We can't change the person. The only thing we could do is to accept. You have to like lower your expectations at times. You can't be like always have high expectations right? Well,alright... I used to be like that. I mean,back then my expectations were a little high. I somehow tell myself I've to kick that away. It's really bad. It isn't good. I've to lower my expectations. Like they say,"Nobody's perfect".
So I learn to accept fact and I'm better now. Ok,there's one more thing I can never accept is guys who smokes. I can't like someone who smokes. I don't know why. When I know he smokes,I'll be unhappy but like they say nobody's perfect,I've to accept the fact but he either has to stop or that's it. I'll forget about it. Besides,it's also for health purposes.
Hmm? I guess I'll never be with someone who smokes because I can't stand the smell. I hate the smell and I don't quite like people who smokes. I'm NOT AGAINST it. Get that straight. It's just my opinion. This is how I feel about it. Don't get the wrong idea. Why waste your money just like that? You can actually save the money and buy something useful instead of killing youself!
Oh well... It's your choice. Think wisely and make a wise choice. =)
I'm NOT AGAINST anything. Anything that's written in my blog is just an opinion. That's how I feel towards it. That's what or how I think about certain things. So don't get me wrong. I'm going to make this clear so get it straight to your head yeah? =)
Sometimes my mind's not clear. I think straight. =( I don't know what I want. I'm often confused. Hur hur hur! How bad is that? Sheesh...
Oh well... I'm off to watch television.
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠9:30:00 pm♠
Thursday, February 23, 2006
"Oh Monday! Oh Tuesday! Oh Weddddddneessssdaaaayyyy... Thursday... FrriiiiiiDAYYYYYY!! It's the weekdays... Oh I'm waiting for the weekends... Where's Saturday? Where's Sunday? Are you coming?"
LOL! That's crap. =D
Oh well... I don't want to have a heart-to-heart thing now. I want a light conversation. Too much heart-to-heart issue I guess that I don't want to talk about it. Let's call it a day for day and let's crap around! Haha. Anyway,laughing is good. It's the best medicine.
I don't want to think much about stuff though my mind isn't really at ease. Sometimes it's better to put it aside for awhile. Don't think too much though at times I do think too much then again,it's bad for health. Bad for me! Oh my... What am I? Destroying myself?? Arghhh!! Noooooo! Haha. =)
Darn. My Chelsea lost. Barcelona 2,Chelsea 1. NEVERMIND! I have faith in them. I believe they'll win the next time round. Expect the unexpected. It's unpredictable but nevermind. They did their best. =) I'm sure they'll win the next time round. You rock no matter what!
Hmm? Currently listening to "Complicated" by Bon Jovi. Love that song. Yawns... Oh god. I haven't do my English homework yet. Alright,I better be doing.
Darn. Common test is like in about two weeks time. Aww man. Sheesh.
Alright,I'm off now. I know it's kind of short for today. I'll blog when I have the time. =)
"Be Free,Think Free"
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠10:23:00 pm♠
Monday, February 20, 2006
Oh my. It's Monday again! Pretty fast huh? Darn. There's PE tomorrow. Sometimes I feel like avoiding Tuesday. Hmm? I don't know why. It's just the feeling that I get every Monday that I don't like.
Oh well... Currently listening to "Aika (Sad song)". One of Inuyasha's songs. I like that song. Very relaxing. I know it's a little slow and there's like errr? Flute? Was that a flute? Sounds like. It's nice. Well,to me that is. Don't know about you.
Hmm? It's 9.14PM at the moment. I'm waiting for "Dia" to start. I love that TV show. It's so nice! Though there's some parts when you watch it feels like your heart will ache. At times it seems like the bad always get what they want,while the good are always like the weaker ones. When I watched it,I feel like beating those evil ones. Muahahahaha! Seriously,it's a heart ache. >_<"
Oh well...
Hmm? I noticed that I've been eating like three times of KFC in a week last week. Oh my. Sounds fattening huh? Tsk tsk. I didn't realise till yesterday. Arghhhh... Dang! It's not good to eat too much of it. Yes,I know it's nice. Yum yum. Cheese fries,Zinger,Fish Ole but then again my health is even more important than all those. I won't say I am a health freak but I'm in between. I do sort of like take care of the things I eat. Well? Mostly drinks.
Speaking of drinks,have you tried the Mcdonalds' Milkshake? Awwwww!! I want more of the strawberry milkshake. I simply love it. The moment I took a sip,oh my... I feel so calm. It's like someone has calm my soul. Haha. I want more!!
I guess I'll be changing my blog skin soon. Hmm? For both that is. This and my blog of poems. Oh! I've just added some new entries in the other blog. I don't know if one of them sounds so..... *ahem* but seriously,I never mean anything. I just write what I feel and think. =) Oh! One more thing,don't get the wrong idea. =D
Hmm? Alright. Maybe later I'll add another entry. As for now,I'm off now!
Peace out. =)
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠9:22:00 pm♠
Thursday, February 16, 2006
It's been a few days since I last blogged. I haven't have much time to blog as I've stuff to do. Today is Thursday. Pretty fast huh? Oh well... What can I say? Time flies very fast.
Yesterday school ends at 12 noon. Cool huh? Went to Downtown East with Xiaoqiang (Angie) for lunch after that we headed home. Went out with my mother in the afternoon as I wanted to buy something. I actually asked her to follow me. =D
I dressed casually as I just want to get my thing and go home. I wore my Green U2 Polo Tee which cost me $22 and black skirt. That black skirt cost at least $20 something. Wore my Charles & Keith sandals,along with my sling bag which my mother bought at Marina Square.My sandals may look simple but it cost me about $30 for it and the bag? It's about $20. Look small huh? Hmm...but I like the colour. The colour is easy to match as it's a light colour. =)
I thought of using my Silverline pump shoes but decided not to as I feel like wearing white so that's why I wore my Charles & Keith sandals. =)Spent about $40. Hmm? Maybe less than $40 but it's more than $30.
Before we head to White Sands we went elsewhere first to find something. Hmm? I simply love going out with my mother. =) I saw Jaclyn when I was about to go home.
Hmm...
I think my week is quite a smooth flowing one. Well? There maybe some minors but let's look at it this way,it's good.On Monday,I went to Xiaoqiang's (Angie) house after school and we played games. We played the PlayStation and oh yes! I beat her the most. =D
Oh well... After all,it's just a game only but seriously,I enjoyed it. Stayed till about 5.30 then I decided to go home. I seriously forgot about the time as we were having so much fun playing.
Tuesday was Valentine's Day. So far the only Valentine goodie I received was a heart shape candy with the word Guess in the middle. It's nice I'd say. You'll never find it outside.
I injured my right knee during PE. My right knee hurts quite bad in the evening that I told my mother about it and she helped me massage it. =D We played soccer during PE. Oh goodie. I think it's quite fun. I'm a defender while Xiaoqiang (Angie) is the striker. =D
Well? In the beginning,I didn't want to play but somehow as we started playing I sort of like it and just stick to it. Hmm? A change of heart and choice.
Hmm? Today? Well... Had my Maths test earlier on. It was quite simple and I wanted to get full marks but aww... I made a mistake so I got 29/30. Arghhhh!! Oh well but at least I'm sort of happy with it but still I was actually hoping for full marks. =)
Darn it. There will be an E.O.A test next week. *sob sob* Arghhhh!! I hate it. Hur hur hur... That capture is kind of confusing and now,Today,we've just started on Receipts and Payments. I seriously dislike the subject but then again,I want to do well and I mean very well. Hmm? Half of my heart is there while the other half a little reluctant but then again,I still have to do it.
My right leg is getting better. I guess by tomorrow is should be no problem already. This morning when I woke up,it was still a little pain. Have to thank my mother for it. =D If she weren't to massage my leg,I don't think it'll have a speedy recovery. Though I hate it when she massage at that time as it really hurts a lot and I was screaming in pain.
Thought of changing my blog skin. Should I? I guess I will. I simply love designing the skins. =D All my blog skins I design them. It makes me happy to see my work being published on the internet. I thought of changing my skin cause lot of people think my blog skin is a little too hentai. Oh my. Some even said my mind has wandered to far. I didn't mean anything but just a theme of anime. My previous skin theme was also anime. I like anime. I find that their quite interesting but well? Have to say some are quite *ahem*. If you know what I mean. *grins*
Before I could go on doing my skin,I've to finish my homework first. I don't know if I'm able to do it by today. I want to get it done as soon as possible but I guess I've to finish my task first.
Pearline just called. =) I miss those days! Arghhhh!! Let's not talk about it. Oh well... Currently listening to "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65. I kind of like that song. Back then I think in 1999,I always hear people playing that song.
"I'm blue da ba dee da ba dam da ba dee da ba da..." Something like that. =D
Hmm? Alright,I think I should be doing my homework. Later! Well? Maybe. =)
Peace out.
Yesterday school ends at 12 noon. Cool huh? Went to Downtown East with Xiaoqiang (Angie) for lunch after that we headed home. Went out with my mother in the afternoon as I wanted to buy something. I actually asked her to follow me. =D
I dressed casually as I just want to get my thing and go home. I wore my Green U2 Polo Tee which cost me $22 and black skirt. That black skirt cost at least $20 something. Wore my Charles & Keith sandals,along with my sling bag which my mother bought at Marina Square.My sandals may look simple but it cost me about $30 for it and the bag? It's about $20. Look small huh? Hmm...but I like the colour. The colour is easy to match as it's a light colour. =)
I thought of using my Silverline pump shoes but decided not to as I feel like wearing white so that's why I wore my Charles & Keith sandals. =)Spent about $40. Hmm? Maybe less than $40 but it's more than $30.
Before we head to White Sands we went elsewhere first to find something. Hmm? I simply love going out with my mother. =) I saw Jaclyn when I was about to go home.
Hmm...
I think my week is quite a smooth flowing one. Well? There maybe some minors but let's look at it this way,it's good.On Monday,I went to Xiaoqiang's (Angie) house after school and we played games. We played the PlayStation and oh yes! I beat her the most. =D
Oh well... After all,it's just a game only but seriously,I enjoyed it. Stayed till about 5.30 then I decided to go home. I seriously forgot about the time as we were having so much fun playing.
Tuesday was Valentine's Day. So far the only Valentine goodie I received was a heart shape candy with the word Guess in the middle. It's nice I'd say. You'll never find it outside.
I injured my right knee during PE. My right knee hurts quite bad in the evening that I told my mother about it and she helped me massage it. =D We played soccer during PE. Oh goodie. I think it's quite fun. I'm a defender while Xiaoqiang (Angie) is the striker. =D
Well? In the beginning,I didn't want to play but somehow as we started playing I sort of like it and just stick to it. Hmm? A change of heart and choice.
Hmm? Today? Well... Had my Maths test earlier on. It was quite simple and I wanted to get full marks but aww... I made a mistake so I got 29/30. Arghhhh!! Oh well but at least I'm sort of happy with it but still I was actually hoping for full marks. =)
Darn it. There will be an E.O.A test next week. *sob sob* Arghhhh!! I hate it. Hur hur hur... That capture is kind of confusing and now,Today,we've just started on Receipts and Payments. I seriously dislike the subject but then again,I want to do well and I mean very well. Hmm? Half of my heart is there while the other half a little reluctant but then again,I still have to do it.
My right leg is getting better. I guess by tomorrow is should be no problem already. This morning when I woke up,it was still a little pain. Have to thank my mother for it. =D If she weren't to massage my leg,I don't think it'll have a speedy recovery. Though I hate it when she massage at that time as it really hurts a lot and I was screaming in pain.
Thought of changing my blog skin. Should I? I guess I will. I simply love designing the skins. =D All my blog skins I design them. It makes me happy to see my work being published on the internet. I thought of changing my skin cause lot of people think my blog skin is a little too hentai. Oh my. Some even said my mind has wandered to far. I didn't mean anything but just a theme of anime. My previous skin theme was also anime. I like anime. I find that their quite interesting but well? Have to say some are quite *ahem*. If you know what I mean. *grins*
Before I could go on doing my skin,I've to finish my homework first. I don't know if I'm able to do it by today. I want to get it done as soon as possible but I guess I've to finish my task first.
Pearline just called. =) I miss those days! Arghhhh!! Let's not talk about it. Oh well... Currently listening to "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65. I kind of like that song. Back then I think in 1999,I always hear people playing that song.
"I'm blue da ba dee da ba dam da ba dee da ba da..." Something like that. =D
Hmm? Alright,I think I should be doing my homework. Later! Well? Maybe. =)
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠9:24:00 pm♠
Monday, February 13, 2006
Arghhhh!! I'm feeling bloated! Had KFC. Dad called KFC delivery and oh goodie. Yum yum. I ate two burgers,two whipped potatoes... Oh my,I'm really full. I ate Zinger. =D Yum yum. Aww.... *Yawns* Yeah,there it goes again but I can't sleep! Too FULL!
Oh well...
It's Sunday. Tomorrow's Monday or rather it is. Oh goodie... School again. Tuesday (Tomorrow) is Valentine's Day. Hmm? I don't why people make a big fuss about it. To me it isn't a big deal. Seriously. Well? It's how you look at it. In my point of view,it isn't anything exciting or whatsoever. It's just an ordinary day.
There's this guy teacher who came to my class and said girls aren't that mature at this age. *roll eyes* Oh sheesh. I disagree. Seriously. Maybe he meant some but the way he put words sounds like an insult. I'm actually ok with whatever comments he want to voice out but it sounds more like an insult that I think it's a little arrogant. [Hint: SAME surname as me]
To be honest,guys aren't that mature at this age! Really,they are like so erughhhhh... They only care about themselves though they may appear mature but tell you what,they're not really that mature. THEY CAN BE VERY CHILDISH AT TIMES! Well? Ok,there's some who I can say are quite mature. They're really sweet but the other group is... Oh my,so childish. Girls? To be fair,there are some girls who are damn childish. Always acting cute and making those high pitch tone. Sheesh. What a shame.
Well? Ok,I have some kiddy side in me but not to that extend. I like soft toys but I don't like acting like that. People will say stuff about you. I've seen some in the MRT acting really kiddy. Making that kiddy crying noise,covering their ears - moving left,right while making that humph! high pitch tone. Oh my... What are they thinking?
What can I say after all? This world there are types of people. I'm simply me,I'm unique,I'm Diane. =) I'm happy with that. I don't care what people want to say. Besides,they're not as IF perfect.
Some people think I'm dumb but the truth is at times I just decided not to argue with them. Why waste your precious time on them? They serious aren't worth your time. Ha! Their just a piece of crap. I'm not against people wearing to revealing but do you want to attract all those unwanted attention? You don't have to reveal to be sexy or attractive. I think I know why some girls think that way. What can I say? Guys go for looks right? Well? My brother and I mean younger brother doesn't go for looks. He said it's the personality. I'm impressed by his words. =)
Well? I don't know what people think about it. I mean it's your point of view right? I can't change you. Anyway,it's just an opinion. The funny thing about guys is when they sort of force you to do what they want you and you didn't agree,they get pissed off! Ha! You call that a guy? More like a chicken. I don't think that's a gentleman. They can even say that they are. "Wow",amazing huh?
Why I say that? I've recently experienced that. I've been wanting to blog these few days. Only today then I have the time to do so. They think that they are a gentlemen. How interesting but the truth is,they're not. They don't even respect your decisions you call that gentlemen? Ha! Gotta be kidding.
I do what I like,I like what I do. I'm not those type who will wear too revealing. I like those clothes that are like at U2. I sort of like urban wear. I like clothes with class but at times I like to dress casual as in like those sporty type. I like Polo Tees. Well? It depends on where you're going. Don't tell me you're gonna wear a sexy dress which was meant for dinner to the shopping mall? It doesn't make sense right? Sheesh.
I don't want to voice out at times as I find it a waste of time. I mean you,yourself should know what type of person you are. If you think you know me that well. Well,you're wrong. Seriously,I know myself better.
I have my own style. If you don't like,just shut. I don't need your comments. I know what's right,what's wrong but seriously I don't get those "youngsters" these days. Well? I am a youngster but I'm not that group of people. They think being those are cool but I find it stupid. To them it's cool but not to me. It's dumb. Why don't you just be yourself? Ain't that more original? You don't have to copy others to be COOL. Oh pleaseeeee.... It's stupid if you were to think about it.
Another thing I also notice make-up has become a trend. I'm not against it but I don't quite like it. Going to the shopping mall also want to put that? It's not as if you're attending an event or party. Then again,there's no right and wrong answer to it. It's your choice. I have sensitive skin and I don't think it's quite useful to use it. Besides,it's troublesome. You just be you and have a good personality. If a guy simply goes for looks,he isn't worth your time. Of course you have to be presentable and neat but do you want a guy who just likes you for looks or for who you are?
If it's me,I want someone who likes me for who I am. I don't know about the others. Maybe some might want them to like them because of they beauty. Actually,if you're beautiful on the outside but a wicked person inside,what's the point? You're still wicked. I don't know how you think about it. Ok,to be fair who doesn't like someone attractive? I bet everyone does but to me if you're good looking but you're personality sucks,you're nothing. You're worthless.
I like guys who respect girls. I really respect those kind. Those who doesn't respect girls,why bother? Have you heard of the rubbish bin? Yeah,so... You know what to do. *winks*
Some guys can be very arrogant. At the same time,some girls are also one of those. I'm being fair here. I don't take sides. I just express what I feel and what I think. No hard feelings yeah? =)
Then there's some girls who wants to get married at the age of or by the age of 21. Some worst,18. Isn't that too young? Besides,are you ready to take up the responsibility? It isn't like in the fairytales that you and that someone live happily ever after. In reality,that won't happen. Youngsters think that once they got married they'll be happy blah blah blah. You know that kind of crap. If you're ready to take the responsibility,go ahead but if you're not - better not. Why? Well,you'll end up divorcing.
The worst thing is when you have kids. If you end up divorcing and you have kids,that's really a bad thing. It sort of affect the kid. Poor kid.
Think before acting or you might end up regreting.
Oh well... Let's not talk about it already.
Hmm... I'm a little addicted to Jay Chou's "Fearless". =D Madonna's "Sorry" is nice. I like that song. I think her current album "Confessions on a Dance Floor" is better than her previous one. I think her current songs are much nicer to listen to than the previous one. =)
"I don't wanna hear,I don't wanna know... Please don't say I'm sorry..."
P.O.D's "Goodbye For Now" is also nice. As usual,I think New Order's "Krafty" is quite nice too. Franz Ferdinand's "The Fallen" is also nice. Oh... Another one... Bon Jovi's "Welcome To Wherever You Are" is nice too but their "Who Says You Can't Go Home" sounds a little bit like country. Oh well... I still they think rock!
Hmm? As for now,I think I'm addicted to those two songs "Fearless" and "Sorry". Those two are on the top of my list. Woohoo! =)
Alright,I think I better be going. Yawns! Yeah,I should be in Fantasy Land.
Snap! There goes... ...I'm gone.
Oh well...
It's Sunday. Tomorrow's Monday or rather it is. Oh goodie... School again. Tuesday (Tomorrow) is Valentine's Day. Hmm? I don't why people make a big fuss about it. To me it isn't a big deal. Seriously. Well? It's how you look at it. In my point of view,it isn't anything exciting or whatsoever. It's just an ordinary day.
There's this guy teacher who came to my class and said girls aren't that mature at this age. *roll eyes* Oh sheesh. I disagree. Seriously. Maybe he meant some but the way he put words sounds like an insult. I'm actually ok with whatever comments he want to voice out but it sounds more like an insult that I think it's a little arrogant. [Hint: SAME surname as me]
To be honest,guys aren't that mature at this age! Really,they are like so erughhhhh... They only care about themselves though they may appear mature but tell you what,they're not really that mature. THEY CAN BE VERY CHILDISH AT TIMES! Well? Ok,there's some who I can say are quite mature. They're really sweet but the other group is... Oh my,so childish. Girls? To be fair,there are some girls who are damn childish. Always acting cute and making those high pitch tone. Sheesh. What a shame.
Well? Ok,I have some kiddy side in me but not to that extend. I like soft toys but I don't like acting like that. People will say stuff about you. I've seen some in the MRT acting really kiddy. Making that kiddy crying noise,covering their ears - moving left,right while making that humph! high pitch tone. Oh my... What are they thinking?
What can I say after all? This world there are types of people. I'm simply me,I'm unique,I'm Diane. =) I'm happy with that. I don't care what people want to say. Besides,they're not as IF perfect.
Some people think I'm dumb but the truth is at times I just decided not to argue with them. Why waste your precious time on them? They serious aren't worth your time. Ha! Their just a piece of crap. I'm not against people wearing to revealing but do you want to attract all those unwanted attention? You don't have to reveal to be sexy or attractive. I think I know why some girls think that way. What can I say? Guys go for looks right? Well? My brother and I mean younger brother doesn't go for looks. He said it's the personality. I'm impressed by his words. =)
Well? I don't know what people think about it. I mean it's your point of view right? I can't change you. Anyway,it's just an opinion. The funny thing about guys is when they sort of force you to do what they want you and you didn't agree,they get pissed off! Ha! You call that a guy? More like a chicken. I don't think that's a gentleman. They can even say that they are. "Wow",amazing huh?
Why I say that? I've recently experienced that. I've been wanting to blog these few days. Only today then I have the time to do so. They think that they are a gentlemen. How interesting but the truth is,they're not. They don't even respect your decisions you call that gentlemen? Ha! Gotta be kidding.
I do what I like,I like what I do. I'm not those type who will wear too revealing. I like those clothes that are like at U2. I sort of like urban wear. I like clothes with class but at times I like to dress casual as in like those sporty type. I like Polo Tees. Well? It depends on where you're going. Don't tell me you're gonna wear a sexy dress which was meant for dinner to the shopping mall? It doesn't make sense right? Sheesh.
I don't want to voice out at times as I find it a waste of time. I mean you,yourself should know what type of person you are. If you think you know me that well. Well,you're wrong. Seriously,I know myself better.
I have my own style. If you don't like,just shut. I don't need your comments. I know what's right,what's wrong but seriously I don't get those "youngsters" these days. Well? I am a youngster but I'm not that group of people. They think being those are cool but I find it stupid. To them it's cool but not to me. It's dumb. Why don't you just be yourself? Ain't that more original? You don't have to copy others to be COOL. Oh pleaseeeee.... It's stupid if you were to think about it.
Another thing I also notice make-up has become a trend. I'm not against it but I don't quite like it. Going to the shopping mall also want to put that? It's not as if you're attending an event or party. Then again,there's no right and wrong answer to it. It's your choice. I have sensitive skin and I don't think it's quite useful to use it. Besides,it's troublesome. You just be you and have a good personality. If a guy simply goes for looks,he isn't worth your time. Of course you have to be presentable and neat but do you want a guy who just likes you for looks or for who you are?
If it's me,I want someone who likes me for who I am. I don't know about the others. Maybe some might want them to like them because of they beauty. Actually,if you're beautiful on the outside but a wicked person inside,what's the point? You're still wicked. I don't know how you think about it. Ok,to be fair who doesn't like someone attractive? I bet everyone does but to me if you're good looking but you're personality sucks,you're nothing. You're worthless.
I like guys who respect girls. I really respect those kind. Those who doesn't respect girls,why bother? Have you heard of the rubbish bin? Yeah,so... You know what to do. *winks*
Some guys can be very arrogant. At the same time,some girls are also one of those. I'm being fair here. I don't take sides. I just express what I feel and what I think. No hard feelings yeah? =)
Then there's some girls who wants to get married at the age of or by the age of 21. Some worst,18. Isn't that too young? Besides,are you ready to take up the responsibility? It isn't like in the fairytales that you and that someone live happily ever after. In reality,that won't happen. Youngsters think that once they got married they'll be happy blah blah blah. You know that kind of crap. If you're ready to take the responsibility,go ahead but if you're not - better not. Why? Well,you'll end up divorcing.
The worst thing is when you have kids. If you end up divorcing and you have kids,that's really a bad thing. It sort of affect the kid. Poor kid.
Think before acting or you might end up regreting.
Oh well... Let's not talk about it already.
Hmm... I'm a little addicted to Jay Chou's "Fearless". =D Madonna's "Sorry" is nice. I like that song. I think her current album "Confessions on a Dance Floor" is better than her previous one. I think her current songs are much nicer to listen to than the previous one. =)
"I don't wanna hear,I don't wanna know... Please don't say I'm sorry..."
P.O.D's "Goodbye For Now" is also nice. As usual,I think New Order's "Krafty" is quite nice too. Franz Ferdinand's "The Fallen" is also nice. Oh... Another one... Bon Jovi's "Welcome To Wherever You Are" is nice too but their "Who Says You Can't Go Home" sounds a little bit like country. Oh well... I still they think rock!
Hmm? As for now,I think I'm addicted to those two songs "Fearless" and "Sorry". Those two are on the top of my list. Woohoo! =)
Alright,I think I better be going. Yawns! Yeah,I should be in Fantasy Land.
Snap! There goes... ...I'm gone.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠12:34:00 am♠
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Currently listening to Edison Chen' "Angel". Edison Chen is cute. =) Hmm? Oh well... I feel that I'm quite outgoing today. =D Unlike the other days I'm a little shy. I sort of like today. It's like I'm not always that outgoing. It's only like last a while only.
Today make some noise while my friend was performing which I mostly won't really do. I went up to a person and called the person. I think my reaction was faster than usual. It seems that I'm quite energetic today. I didn't even take afternoon nap! Muahahaha. Interesting huh? I'm like banging my head earlier on while listening to "One Step Closer"- Linkin Park.
I simply love that song. Woooooo!! It's my favourite song. =D The "shut up" part is the best. =D Haha. That line is very useful when dealing with someone stubborn or difficult to handle. =D Muahahaha!
Hmm? Oh well... I'm just happy with today. La La LA... Sometimes you just gotta be yourself. Be confident and do the right thing. After all this world nothing is perfect. We all make mistakes but we can learn from them and be a better person. Hmm? Yeah,so that makes us a better person. Through experience. =)
Thought of getting a new phone. Can't decide what should I get. Hmm? Any suggestions? Thought of getting Nokia 7610. Currently I'm using Motorola E398 (White and silver). Hmm? Give me your suggestions! I'm confused.
Hmm? My classmates (the boys) are kind of scared of me? Am I that scary? They say they're scared of my smack. Ouch. Is it that pain? =X Hmm? I wonder. Oh my... I shouldn't do such things. =D Hmm? But at times if it's for your rights then I think it's alright. Well? Depends on the situation yeah?
Such a lovely day. I simply feel happy. =) I think it'll be a happy week. Well? It's good to be happy! Happy happy happy! Oh goodie. There's Mother Tongue test tomorrow. Sheesh. I can tell you this,I won't pass! It doesn't surprise me. I can tell you that it seems like almost nothing gets inside my head. Hmm? Ok,maybe some did get inside my head. Oh well... Let's not talk about it.
It's a smooth flowing week for me. Thank you god for being so nice. =) I needed that actually. I wasn't feeling that happy last week,I guess I'm the oppsite now.
Yum yum! Heard of prata pizza? Haha. I've just got my prata pizza. Homemade one. It really smells delicious. Maybe you might think it sounds nuts but well? Sometimes you just gotta experiment with food and hey,you know what? It smells nice and... taste good too! =D
This is me,Diane! I like what I do,I do what I like. Label me as stubborn? Go ahead. It ain't a big deal to me. Even my parents said I am. =)
Pretty fast it's already February. Sheesh. Today is the 8 of February. Tomorrow's the 9th,Thursday. Oh goodie... Morning worksheet! I hope I'll NOT miss the bus. I notice that almost all the Thursdays I'll miss the bus! Darn it. Playing games with me? Haha... Are you?? Bleah but seriously I feel that I'm on time on Thursday but the bus is early! Hmm? Sort of like playing games huh? What is this? Catch me if you can? Let's see. I'll catch you no matter what! *grins*
Alright,I think I better be eating. I haven't eaten my dinner yet. Did I hear noises coming from my tummy? Hmm...? Did I? Oh well... Better make my tummy feel happy before it gets upset.
So......... I'm off now!
I'm outta sight!
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠8:49:00 pm♠
Monday, February 06, 2006
Yawns! Tired. Finished my homework with Xiaoqiang earlier on at Downtown East Burger King. I ordered the Chicken Sandwich. Yum yum! Haven't eaten it for quite some time.
Oh gosh... Saw some people which I didn't expect. It's like "wow". =D Yeah... I just mention about that person and oh my,that person is in front of me! It's better to keep it to yourself at times. This is what you get. =D
I still remember last year I mention about the person and oh gosh... The next thing you know the person appears! Hmm... So is that a good thing or what? =D I think it's something great. I really didn't expect. Oh well? After all like what they say,"Expect the Unexpected". =)
Currently listening to Franz Ferdinand "Well That Was Easy". Oh goodie! Chelsea won! I watched the match last night. Yawns! I'm so tired! I actually didn't want to watch as I was a little tired but somehow I just feel like watching it. So I watched second half. Woohoo! It was an exciting game to watch. Both are good teams and their really full of energy. Oh boy,oh boy... Should have watch first half. Darn it. Aww... But I was finishing up my homework. =)
I slept at about 2AM last night. Yawns! So tired and I didn't take a nap! I came home at about 5.30PM. Hmm? Yeah,about there. E.O.A coursework started today. Oh dear... It's happening so fast. So many things yet so little time. *sigh*
Let's not talk about it. =) Let's look on the bright side. I don't want to make myself sad. I want to be happy! Anyway,I am happy today. =D My eyes are pain. Darn it.
Goodie! About an hour,fifteen minutes I'll be watching television. "Dia"! Hurray! How can I miss that show?! It's nice!! My favourite show. It's an indonesian show with English subtitles. Do watch if you have the time. It's a really nice show. "Dia",every Monday,9.30PM on Suria.
Ari Wibowo. Haha. Most of my girl friends like him. Why? Well,he has good looks. What can I say after all? His a german. His mother is an indonesian. Mixed blood. Haha but hey,I'm also mixed. =) It's for real! Though some might think I'm malay because I'm tanned. Haha. Part of me there's malay in it but I'm a Chinese. =)
I'm a Chinese. My dialect is Hokkien. Don't believe? Serious. Then why do you think my surname is LIM? Sheesh.
La La LA...
Oh well... Maybe later I'll check in. I'm really tired. I guess I'll take a rest. It's bad to push yourself to hard. You should take things lightly sometimes. Relax ya? Chill! =D
Alright. I'm gone!
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠8:16:00 pm♠
Sunday, February 05, 2006
You know sometimes I just don't know what I want. What are my needs? What are my wants? Can anyone define it to me? I seriously am lost. To speak the truth,I'm simply confused. No one knows this. I feel that I shouldn't be hiding this anymore. I simply can't take it anymore.
I've been wasting a lot of time and I wish I could turn back time. I miss those days that I once had years ago. I miss the joy and laughter and the things that my friends and I shared years ago. It's just isn't there anymore. All those that I've dream of,dies off. This ain't Fantasy Land. This is reality.
Has anyone ever know how pain is my heart? I may always seem as happy but actually I didn't want to know the truth. The truth is always there,in front of me but I refuse to accept it. I still hold on because I scared to fall. The impact of falling is really a bad thing. It hurts me and it hurts me deeply. Piercing through my heart. Bleeding like the water when you turn on the tap. That's why I never learn to accept it. I always thought that I could sort things out but the truth is no matter how much you try,you'll still cry in pain.
At the moment,I don't know how I feel. I'm confused. This few days I've been really quiet. So many things in mind but don't know where to start. It's like I've been hiding in the dark these few days. I don't feel like eating too. It's only few days ago I started forcing myself to eat. I feel that I'm not the me that I used to be. I've been feeling kind of down these few days. My mind's like a machine and my mood is like the clock.
Just like half an hour ago when I got violent with my brother. I pulled his shirt and ......... Oh dear. I don't want to say. I'm missing something but not sure what's it. I feel like I need something but what is it? I want something but can anybody tell me what's it? I seriously don't know what I want and need.
I'm trying to take things lightly but at times I tend to take things seriously. I wasn't the person I used to be years ago. Oh my. What have I become? There were things I like for what I am now and there were things I like for what I am years ago. It's really sad to see things fall apart and everything goes the way you didn't want it to be. I find it hard to trust people at times. Have I lost the trust of trusting people?
It's like I've been doing my own stuff this few years ever since I stepped into the secondary school life. I don't hang out that often neither do I chat with friends that often. Well? I mean,I still chat and laugh... You know the usual stuff but what I mean is my secondary life circle isn't as big as in primary school. In primary school,there's lots of friends. Lots of fun and stuff like that but the problem is we have our own stuff and we haven't been keeping in touch that often. We're drifting away. It's just a matter of time we don't see that string anymore but why?!
I don't want it to be that way. I want the bond that we once had. The smile,the laughter,the joy and stuff like that. Who am I right now?! Am I still the same? Am I the Diane four years ago? =( It's really sad to see things drifting away. You can't have it your own way. It's a pain to see things go just like that. That's the thing I FEAR of the most.
Please don't say goodbye. There's still time. We can try working it out. I know it's hard as we are busy but don't let it go just like that. Have you forgotten the happy moments? It's really precious to me and it has always been kept close to my heart. I'll never forget those times.
Thinking about my friends. I feel that we don't have much time for each other. It's more like we're just friends and those that we once had were like so yesterday. I haven't been in touch with Aida for quite some time. Though we're in the same school but then we have our own stuff and situation just simply change. I feel that we're drifitng apart. We don't talk that often already. We don't even hang out.
I try to do my part by talking to those friends. Friends that are precious to me. I try my very best to talk to Darlene,Aida,Pearline and not forgetting Jaclyn. It's not that I don't care. In fact,I care. I haven't been chatting with Pearline for quite some time. Even if we do,we only talk for a while and that's it. Unlike last time,we can chat for a very long time. Laugh and stuff like that. *sigh* Things change and so does people. Jaclyn? She's still my friend no matter what. Yes I know we haven't been quite close lately or rather this few years ever since we were in secondary school but I still care.
It's not like I don't care. I care. I know we haven't been meeting each other for quite some time already. Everytime we meet,I feel glad as we seldom meet. Unlike in primary school,we were in the same primary school and we can hang out during recess and after school. It's really sad to see things go just like that. =(
I seriously don't know where to start. It's a really busy year and N levels is like seven to eight months ahead only. So many things to worry about but don't know where to start or how to go about starting it. Have I lost my sense of feel and touch?
At times I can understand a situation but I can't feel the situation. While at times I know how it feels but I can't seem to understand it clearly. Oh my... Am I at the losing edge? Am I going to fall? I hope not.
I really feel sad about everything. Thinking back at those memories,it makes me smile but at the same time I feel sad about it. Disappointed? Can say so. I didn't know how things got to be this way. It's a heartache. I'm simply not the Diane that I once was. I'm more like the mystery one at times. Though some people may think that they know me but they don't.
I feel that I lost my sense of touch. I can't connect. The connection isn't there. The Diane back in 2002 is the Diane that's cheerful,carefree,hot-tempered (as usual),heck-care attitude... While the Diane now seems to be a little quiet than what I was years ago. I'm a little less cheerful and I tend to worry so much. Oh dear... What has gotten into me?
I guess I should try my very best to sort things out. I don't want it to fall apart. This isn't right.
It shouldn't be like this.
Oh well... Let's not talk about it already.
It's 7.30PM now. Sunday and tomorrow's Monday. How interesting. Pretty fast huh? For all you know it's the end of the year. Sheesh.
It's only now than I realise I've wasted so many things. I've been wasting my life just like that. Yeah,just like the snap of my fingers. I don't want that to happen. I want to be a better person and make less mistakes. It can be complicated at times. I wonder why. If you think it's easy,try being me. *sigh*
Even with all the powers in the world,you still can't change the universe. You can only change you. Stop doing stupid things and start doing something useful. I think we should start now. Don't let it go to a waste and regret it later. It isn't nice to regret something because you can't turn the clock back.
A question that appears in my head now is,"Do I know you?"
You may think that you know someone but how well? You may know him/her for quite some time but have you ever thought what if someday... Let's say 10 to 15 years later and accidentally bump into him/her and you were like "Hi! Remember me?" and what if the person said,"Do I know You?"
I'm sure it's a heartache. What can I say after all? We're like clocks. Our mindcept keeps changing everytime and we don't even or even remember those stuff. Well? I'm not saying everyone forgets everything. There are some who still remembers about the past and that's really sweet. It's nice to remember all those. In a small way,it shows that you care. I still remember some of the things. If only I can turn back time...
I haven't been visting people's blog these few days to see what's happening and stuff like that. Hmm? Maybe I should when I have the time. I haven't been visiting's Jaclyn's blog for quite some time. Oh my.
Oh well... I'm off now. Maybe later I'll check in again.
Better be doing my homework. Oh gosh. Homework? Urgh!
Peace out.
I've been wasting a lot of time and I wish I could turn back time. I miss those days that I once had years ago. I miss the joy and laughter and the things that my friends and I shared years ago. It's just isn't there anymore. All those that I've dream of,dies off. This ain't Fantasy Land. This is reality.
Has anyone ever know how pain is my heart? I may always seem as happy but actually I didn't want to know the truth. The truth is always there,in front of me but I refuse to accept it. I still hold on because I scared to fall. The impact of falling is really a bad thing. It hurts me and it hurts me deeply. Piercing through my heart. Bleeding like the water when you turn on the tap. That's why I never learn to accept it. I always thought that I could sort things out but the truth is no matter how much you try,you'll still cry in pain.
At the moment,I don't know how I feel. I'm confused. This few days I've been really quiet. So many things in mind but don't know where to start. It's like I've been hiding in the dark these few days. I don't feel like eating too. It's only few days ago I started forcing myself to eat. I feel that I'm not the me that I used to be. I've been feeling kind of down these few days. My mind's like a machine and my mood is like the clock.
Just like half an hour ago when I got violent with my brother. I pulled his shirt and ......... Oh dear. I don't want to say. I'm missing something but not sure what's it. I feel like I need something but what is it? I want something but can anybody tell me what's it? I seriously don't know what I want and need.
I'm trying to take things lightly but at times I tend to take things seriously. I wasn't the person I used to be years ago. Oh my. What have I become? There were things I like for what I am now and there were things I like for what I am years ago. It's really sad to see things fall apart and everything goes the way you didn't want it to be. I find it hard to trust people at times. Have I lost the trust of trusting people?
It's like I've been doing my own stuff this few years ever since I stepped into the secondary school life. I don't hang out that often neither do I chat with friends that often. Well? I mean,I still chat and laugh... You know the usual stuff but what I mean is my secondary life circle isn't as big as in primary school. In primary school,there's lots of friends. Lots of fun and stuff like that but the problem is we have our own stuff and we haven't been keeping in touch that often. We're drifting away. It's just a matter of time we don't see that string anymore but why?!
I don't want it to be that way. I want the bond that we once had. The smile,the laughter,the joy and stuff like that. Who am I right now?! Am I still the same? Am I the Diane four years ago? =( It's really sad to see things drifting away. You can't have it your own way. It's a pain to see things go just like that. That's the thing I FEAR of the most.
Please don't say goodbye. There's still time. We can try working it out. I know it's hard as we are busy but don't let it go just like that. Have you forgotten the happy moments? It's really precious to me and it has always been kept close to my heart. I'll never forget those times.
Thinking about my friends. I feel that we don't have much time for each other. It's more like we're just friends and those that we once had were like so yesterday. I haven't been in touch with Aida for quite some time. Though we're in the same school but then we have our own stuff and situation just simply change. I feel that we're drifitng apart. We don't talk that often already. We don't even hang out.
I try to do my part by talking to those friends. Friends that are precious to me. I try my very best to talk to Darlene,Aida,Pearline and not forgetting Jaclyn. It's not that I don't care. In fact,I care. I haven't been chatting with Pearline for quite some time. Even if we do,we only talk for a while and that's it. Unlike last time,we can chat for a very long time. Laugh and stuff like that. *sigh* Things change and so does people. Jaclyn? She's still my friend no matter what. Yes I know we haven't been quite close lately or rather this few years ever since we were in secondary school but I still care.
It's not like I don't care. I care. I know we haven't been meeting each other for quite some time already. Everytime we meet,I feel glad as we seldom meet. Unlike in primary school,we were in the same primary school and we can hang out during recess and after school. It's really sad to see things go just like that. =(
I seriously don't know where to start. It's a really busy year and N levels is like seven to eight months ahead only. So many things to worry about but don't know where to start or how to go about starting it. Have I lost my sense of feel and touch?
At times I can understand a situation but I can't feel the situation. While at times I know how it feels but I can't seem to understand it clearly. Oh my... Am I at the losing edge? Am I going to fall? I hope not.
I really feel sad about everything. Thinking back at those memories,it makes me smile but at the same time I feel sad about it. Disappointed? Can say so. I didn't know how things got to be this way. It's a heartache. I'm simply not the Diane that I once was. I'm more like the mystery one at times. Though some people may think that they know me but they don't.
I feel that I lost my sense of touch. I can't connect. The connection isn't there. The Diane back in 2002 is the Diane that's cheerful,carefree,hot-tempered (as usual),heck-care attitude... While the Diane now seems to be a little quiet than what I was years ago. I'm a little less cheerful and I tend to worry so much. Oh dear... What has gotten into me?
I guess I should try my very best to sort things out. I don't want it to fall apart. This isn't right.
It shouldn't be like this.
Oh well... Let's not talk about it already.
It's 7.30PM now. Sunday and tomorrow's Monday. How interesting. Pretty fast huh? For all you know it's the end of the year. Sheesh.
It's only now than I realise I've wasted so many things. I've been wasting my life just like that. Yeah,just like the snap of my fingers. I don't want that to happen. I want to be a better person and make less mistakes. It can be complicated at times. I wonder why. If you think it's easy,try being me. *sigh*
Even with all the powers in the world,you still can't change the universe. You can only change you. Stop doing stupid things and start doing something useful. I think we should start now. Don't let it go to a waste and regret it later. It isn't nice to regret something because you can't turn the clock back.
A question that appears in my head now is,"Do I know you?"
You may think that you know someone but how well? You may know him/her for quite some time but have you ever thought what if someday... Let's say 10 to 15 years later and accidentally bump into him/her and you were like "Hi! Remember me?" and what if the person said,"Do I know You?"
I'm sure it's a heartache. What can I say after all? We're like clocks. Our mindcept keeps changing everytime and we don't even or even remember those stuff. Well? I'm not saying everyone forgets everything. There are some who still remembers about the past and that's really sweet. It's nice to remember all those. In a small way,it shows that you care. I still remember some of the things. If only I can turn back time...
I haven't been visting people's blog these few days to see what's happening and stuff like that. Hmm? Maybe I should when I have the time. I haven't been visiting's Jaclyn's blog for quite some time. Oh my.
Oh well... I'm off now. Maybe later I'll check in again.
Better be doing my homework. Oh gosh. Homework? Urgh!
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠7:39:00 pm♠
*sigh* Why am I feeling down? *shrugs* I really don't know why. I can't seem to be happy at the moment. I tried those stuff to make me feel happy but I still couldn't. Darn it. Oh why,oh why?
Even talking to Xiaoqiang over the phone just now I didn't seem to be happy but at least it doesn't feel that bad. It sort of ease a little but I still feel down. I'm like a mouse now. Very quiet. I don't feel like chatting at the moment though there are some friends chatting with me on MSN. I hope this feeling will be gone soon! I hate this feeling. It simply sucks. It's not a good thing. =(
*sigh* Oh well...
Hmm? I haven't been blogging my poem blog for quite some time already. At the moment,no new entries. My last entry was last year. Gosh. Can you believe it? Hmm... I guess I'll be adding an entry later. La La LA...
I feel like buying Franz Ferdinand CD. I sort of like Franz Ferdinand songs but I'm not sure if I should or not. Hmm...? I'm still considering actually. I really don't know. Fort Minor CD too. I still can't decide. Arghhhhh!! Being fickle-minded again. Sheesh...
I can't seem to trust guys though a bunch of my guy friends said I could trust them as they're trustworthy. Hmm? How true is that. No offence yeah? I didn't mean anything but I don't know why my heart can't seem to soften a little and learn to trust them.
Flirts are even worst. I simply can't trust them. Not only that,I really dislike the attitude. I don't trust flirts. They're sweet talkers that may break your heart. Me a flirt? I'm not. Though some might think of it that way. The truth is - I'm not. Try being me and you know how it feels.
Let's drop the subject already. Sheesh.
Hmm... There'll be a match tomorrow. =D Yeah. Chelsea vs Liverpool. Chelsea!! Darn it. It's been like two or three draws straight they got a draw! I really want them to win but then again... Liverpool is also a good club. Darn it! Arghhhhh.. May the best one wins. =) Then again,I want Chelsea to win.
*Yawns* Sometimes I feel that this life is a little boring. I fear of a lot of things in life actually. I fear of growing older. I fear of the future. *sigh* So many things in mind. The reason why I fear of growing older is because the working world can be really cruel and what can I say? Life ain't that fair with those "people" around. Fear of the future? Well,I don't know what's my future and how's it gonna be like. So yeah,that's the reason why I'm fear of it.
Sometimes I feel like crying. It's not because I'm those soft type. In fact,I'm not. I'm the stubborn type. I cry because I have too many things and I simply can't take it. I just want to ease that pain. It's not because I'm soft. Sheesh. I try not to hurt people's feeling at the same time,I wonder if people ever thought about that and treat me the same?
What can I say after all? Different people have different thinking. Anyway,it's always like this in life. When you're good looking,people will always praise you no matter what. When you're not,people don't treat you the way they should. Ain't that a common thing? That's what I notice. Not only that. Some people see if you have money or not. If you don't,they don't even bother to entertain you. Sheesh. Horrible creatures. Bunch of monsters.
Well? Money is important. Yes,that I agree but if the person isn't born rich as in not a rich family,whatcha gonna do? Turn your back away to the person? Whack him? Chase him away? Have you ever think of that? Not everyone is born rich. Tell me who wants to be poor? I've to thank god for whatever I have. I shouldn't take things for grunted. You may not be the best looker but think of it this way... You are unique,you are special,you have hands,you have legs and everything! So appreicate them. I really pity those handicapped people. I feel sorry for them.
I simply don't know whatelse to say. *sigh* People are always looking at looks. Good looking means good person. That's what they think. Sheesh. I don't think so. Good looking person can also be bad. Hey! We're humans! Doesn't mean the not so good looking ones are bad. What kind of thinking is this? Pretty lame huh? I notice some people look at it that way. Oh my. WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!! This is reality! Not your fairytale kind of story! Sheesh. Screw you!
Some good looking people take advantage. I'm not saying all but some good looking guys they'll play around. Those are horrible creatures. Since they know that their good looking,they'll flirt around. The girl gets attracted to them and well? His still "nice" but after some time he'll go further than the next thing you know,he ditch her and does that to other girls. "Play" ---> "Goodbye".
Maybe to him it isn't a big deal to do but does he think of the other party? What about the girl?!? HELLO! What is this? Making use of her. Sheesh. You feel her inside out and after you got what you want,tada! I hate those jerks who does that. In fact,their B*st*rds!
Well,I'm not saying ALL. Some are quite nice and very humble. Aww... How sweet. =) Gentleman is the best. Their very sensible and understanding. Not only that,some have a very good sense of humor. =D It simply melts my heart. It's hard to find those type. If you ever find one,cherish them! Their rare! =)
*Yawns* Oh well... Hmm? I'm tired. Maybe I won't be blogging the other blog after all. Let's see how. If I have the time,I'll blog. =)
My eyes are heavy
My mind's shutting down
I should also shut down my computer
Electrical bill will always be like a mountain
Daddy will be grumbling
Money flushed down the toliet bowl
Flush flush flush
Went to the toliet
Came out of the toliet
Feeling cold after washing my hands
Have I turned into an ice?
Row the dice
Am I lucky?
Or is it sucky?
My bed is nice
Nice to lie on
Ride a horse?
Only in my dreams
Dare to dream?
Let me sleep
My bed's calling me
Waiting for me to lie on it to dream
Yum yum
It taste like cream
Oh
Actually it's ice cream
But it's in my dream
Sleep sleep sleep
That's the only thing I could think of
Sleep
Creep
Beep
Keeping myself awake isn't going to work anymore
I need to sleep
I want to be in Fantasy Land
Oh
Guess what?
I've found the main power...
Just one more step...
Goodbye...
LOL. That's a little lame huh? Some kind of a poem. Haven't been writing for quite some time. Hmm? Alright. I think it really describes what I'm feeling at the moment! Yawns! Yup,you know what I mean.
Alright,I'm off now.
Peace out.
Even talking to Xiaoqiang over the phone just now I didn't seem to be happy but at least it doesn't feel that bad. It sort of ease a little but I still feel down. I'm like a mouse now. Very quiet. I don't feel like chatting at the moment though there are some friends chatting with me on MSN. I hope this feeling will be gone soon! I hate this feeling. It simply sucks. It's not a good thing. =(
*sigh* Oh well...
Hmm? I haven't been blogging my poem blog for quite some time already. At the moment,no new entries. My last entry was last year. Gosh. Can you believe it? Hmm... I guess I'll be adding an entry later. La La LA...
I feel like buying Franz Ferdinand CD. I sort of like Franz Ferdinand songs but I'm not sure if I should or not. Hmm...? I'm still considering actually. I really don't know. Fort Minor CD too. I still can't decide. Arghhhhh!! Being fickle-minded again. Sheesh...
I can't seem to trust guys though a bunch of my guy friends said I could trust them as they're trustworthy. Hmm? How true is that. No offence yeah? I didn't mean anything but I don't know why my heart can't seem to soften a little and learn to trust them.
Flirts are even worst. I simply can't trust them. Not only that,I really dislike the attitude. I don't trust flirts. They're sweet talkers that may break your heart. Me a flirt? I'm not. Though some might think of it that way. The truth is - I'm not. Try being me and you know how it feels.
Let's drop the subject already. Sheesh.
Hmm... There'll be a match tomorrow. =D Yeah. Chelsea vs Liverpool. Chelsea!! Darn it. It's been like two or three draws straight they got a draw! I really want them to win but then again... Liverpool is also a good club. Darn it! Arghhhhh.. May the best one wins. =) Then again,I want Chelsea to win.
*Yawns* Sometimes I feel that this life is a little boring. I fear of a lot of things in life actually. I fear of growing older. I fear of the future. *sigh* So many things in mind. The reason why I fear of growing older is because the working world can be really cruel and what can I say? Life ain't that fair with those "people" around. Fear of the future? Well,I don't know what's my future and how's it gonna be like. So yeah,that's the reason why I'm fear of it.
Sometimes I feel like crying. It's not because I'm those soft type. In fact,I'm not. I'm the stubborn type. I cry because I have too many things and I simply can't take it. I just want to ease that pain. It's not because I'm soft. Sheesh. I try not to hurt people's feeling at the same time,I wonder if people ever thought about that and treat me the same?
What can I say after all? Different people have different thinking. Anyway,it's always like this in life. When you're good looking,people will always praise you no matter what. When you're not,people don't treat you the way they should. Ain't that a common thing? That's what I notice. Not only that. Some people see if you have money or not. If you don't,they don't even bother to entertain you. Sheesh. Horrible creatures. Bunch of monsters.
Well? Money is important. Yes,that I agree but if the person isn't born rich as in not a rich family,whatcha gonna do? Turn your back away to the person? Whack him? Chase him away? Have you ever think of that? Not everyone is born rich. Tell me who wants to be poor? I've to thank god for whatever I have. I shouldn't take things for grunted. You may not be the best looker but think of it this way... You are unique,you are special,you have hands,you have legs and everything! So appreicate them. I really pity those handicapped people. I feel sorry for them.
I simply don't know whatelse to say. *sigh* People are always looking at looks. Good looking means good person. That's what they think. Sheesh. I don't think so. Good looking person can also be bad. Hey! We're humans! Doesn't mean the not so good looking ones are bad. What kind of thinking is this? Pretty lame huh? I notice some people look at it that way. Oh my. WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!! This is reality! Not your fairytale kind of story! Sheesh. Screw you!
Some good looking people take advantage. I'm not saying all but some good looking guys they'll play around. Those are horrible creatures. Since they know that their good looking,they'll flirt around. The girl gets attracted to them and well? His still "nice" but after some time he'll go further than the next thing you know,he ditch her and does that to other girls. "Play" ---> "Goodbye".
Maybe to him it isn't a big deal to do but does he think of the other party? What about the girl?!? HELLO! What is this? Making use of her. Sheesh. You feel her inside out and after you got what you want,tada! I hate those jerks who does that. In fact,their B*st*rds!
Well,I'm not saying ALL. Some are quite nice and very humble. Aww... How sweet. =) Gentleman is the best. Their very sensible and understanding. Not only that,some have a very good sense of humor. =D It simply melts my heart. It's hard to find those type. If you ever find one,cherish them! Their rare! =)
*Yawns* Oh well... Hmm? I'm tired. Maybe I won't be blogging the other blog after all. Let's see how. If I have the time,I'll blog. =)
My eyes are heavy
My mind's shutting down
I should also shut down my computer
Electrical bill will always be like a mountain
Daddy will be grumbling
Money flushed down the toliet bowl
Flush flush flush
Went to the toliet
Came out of the toliet
Feeling cold after washing my hands
Have I turned into an ice?
Row the dice
Am I lucky?
Or is it sucky?
My bed is nice
Nice to lie on
Ride a horse?
Only in my dreams
Dare to dream?
Let me sleep
My bed's calling me
Waiting for me to lie on it to dream
Yum yum
It taste like cream
Oh
Actually it's ice cream
But it's in my dream
Sleep sleep sleep
That's the only thing I could think of
Sleep
Creep
Beep
Keeping myself awake isn't going to work anymore
I need to sleep
I want to be in Fantasy Land
Oh
Guess what?
I've found the main power...
Just one more step...
Goodbye...
LOL. That's a little lame huh? Some kind of a poem. Haven't been writing for quite some time. Hmm? Alright. I think it really describes what I'm feeling at the moment! Yawns! Yup,you know what I mean.
Alright,I'm off now.
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠3:00:00 am♠
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Dumb dumb dumb!! It's stupid. Why does this have to happen? First,my phone's down. The display's not working. Oh crap. Sheesh. Next thing is... Why do I always miss the bus every Thursday? It's February already. If I'm not wrong only once or twice I manage to catch the bus while the rest,I'm not able to. Crap. It isn't a big deal actually but I have morning worksheet on Thursday and I don't wish to be late.
There was once I've to do it after school and the other during recess. I'm like always late for my morning worksheet on Thursday. Oh dear... So far I think at the moment,I'm always reaching school at about between 7.10 to 7.20AM. The only time I was early was on a Tuesday where I reach school about 7.10AM but to be exact not yet 7.10AM. There was twice I was almost late. Oh dear... I hate it when that happens. It simply sucks. Sheesh...
The worst thing is my phone. I'm so angry. Why does this have to happen? It sucks. I hate it. Damn it. This is really crap. Arghhhhhh!! STUPID!!! Oh my... Why am I angry at the moment? Darn it. Simply hate it.
Oh dear... I guess I should calm myself down. Seriously I give up on my phone at the moment. It's a heartache. I really like my phone and so far it doesn't have any problems but why now?! It's not as if I hit it on the wall or something. So far it's working FINE and I really mean very fine. It doesn't encounter any problems but why all of a sudden?!?! *sob sob*
I'm really disappointed. Maybe a little sad but more of feeling kind of angry,don't know why.
Oh well... Let's not talk about it. =(
Anyway,Xiaoqiang came over to my house earlier on and left at about 6.15PM. Well? Ok,that wasn't bad. I feel quite happy when I'm with her but then again... Heartache whenever I think about my mobile phone. Damn. =( I'm sad. Am I? I'm angry. Am I? I'm disappointed? Hmm... Am I? Oh well...
Oh dear... I'm hoping to get a new phone soon. I'm really disappointed. It means I've to use my brother's phone! Arghhhhh!! His phone again? Awww....... Sheesh. What to do? Well? One thing good is it's a flip phone so it's kind of stylish when you're over the phone but it's a little difficult when smsing. Darn it. I don't quite like his phone. I'm not saying Samsung is bad. It's quite ok but his buttons needs to be press a little harder. *sigh* Poor fingers of mine. Oh well.......
Maybe next month then I'll get a new phone. =( I'm sad. Really sad. Hur hur hur!! ='( *sob sob* Will anyone save me? Arghhhhh!! Boo hoo hoo! =S *sigh*
I know today's entry is simply about the phone but then again... I really don't know what to say. I wanted to talk about other stuff but this came to my mind again and it saddens me. I hope I could stop thinking about it at least for a while. I really hope so.
*sigh* I guess I'm left with no other choice. What to do? This is life. Let's get real.
Alright. I'm off now. I'm not in the mood to blog. I was in the mood before that but things change so I'll end here.
Peace out.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠10:51:00 pm♠
// D: Illusionist
// What's your love type
// Are you too picky when it comes to men?
// What kind of sexy girl are you?
// What kind of girl are you?
// Are you spoiled?
// What flavour Pocky are you?
// Could you be violent?
// Speed test
95 words
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+ Diane
+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist
+ 0ctober 4th 1990
+ Libra
+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)
+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)
BLUE IS THE COLOUR
// What does your sleeping position says about you?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.
If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope
It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog
// What's your love type
| Your Love Type: ISFJ |
 In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long. For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner. Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie. However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues. Best matches: ESTP or ESFP |
// Are you too picky when it comes to men?
| You Are Picky When it Counts |
 But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating. You probably have quite a few great guys you can date! |
// What kind of sexy girl are you?
| You Are Fun Sexy |
 Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy. You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through. Any guy would be crazy to turn you down! |
// What kind of girl are you?
| You are a Brainy Girl! |
 You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either! |
// Are you spoiled?
| You Are 24% Spoiled |
 You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have. |
// What flavour Pocky are you?
| You Are Flan Pocky |
 East meets west... sweet meets salty. You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together! |
// Could you be violent?
| There's a Chance You Could Be Violent |
 Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act. Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage. |
// Speed test
95 words
// —The Voice Within—
// Other Illusionist♠
Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]
Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han
Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]
Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han
Interesting links/blogs: (Scroll down)
The Other Side Of D
+*My MSN Community*+
+*^My MSN Space^*+
+*D-Illusionist: The Mighty One*+
+My Blog Of Poems+
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