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My Past Illusions
// My Illusions*
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Stupid world. Crazy. Shitty. What has gotten into this world?!
Crazy people,crazy world... Crazy situations. All mixed up!!
Had a conflict with ... Erughhhh...!!! Don't want to mention who. Stupid stupid stupid!!! So angry yet I feel sad. Tears filled my eyes but not flowing down yet. Feeling angry and sad at the same time. Listening to my MP3. The volume's loud. Don't want to think about it. It makes my heart ache and head pain. Singing along to make myself better. >_<" It's ridiculous. Hate it. Arghhhhh!!! Just shut it. Stupid damn thing. Damn you.
Sometimes I feel a strong feeling of hatred in me. I simply hate it. I HATE EVERYTHING!! I've always wanted it to be smooth flowing but it's like everything whenever I'm HAPPY,soon or later there ain't no sunshine. Something will destory my happiness. THAT'S THE THING I REALLY HATE. Why must it always be this way?! Why can't I be happy? I want to be happy,I want to smile all day... I want my life to be filled with happiness and joy and LAUGHTER but this is crap. I guess life is always full of ups and downs but I really can't bare to take the downs. It's really hurting me.
It's killing me. Taking my breath away and making me breathless. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm losing my head and sight. It's all black to me. At times nothing matters to me. I'm more like emotionless. I lose a part of me. I'm bleeding here with all my broken dreams and thoughts yet to be mend. I guess it'll never end. I've to give up and leave it as it is. An unfinished matter as usual. Sometimes I dare not dream. I scared my dream will be destroyed again. Once is enough. I don't want to make the same mistakes. It's like an arrow has pierce through my heart. That's how pain it hurts.
Or rather someone took out my heart out.
I hate everything!!!!
I hate that bitch! My brother just came home. He told me that he and my dad saw her. She keep yelling again. Oh well... What can I say? A retarded who has no brains. She yelled "Animal!!" but in malay. Ha! That bitch only knows how to speak in MALAY. If you talk to her in English,she'll keep repeating the same thing like a spoilt tape recorder.
She's really a bitch. Always finding trouble with my family. HEY! ASS. What's up with you? Always jealous. Did we disturb you? Ha! What a joke! Oh please... You're the one who quarrelled with us and find trouble and stuff like that. It's been like five years? What the hell is wrong with YOU,BITCH.
I really hope those evil people will just DIE. Why give them a chance to live?! I hate those idiots. We told the police about it already. She's digging her own grave. I really wish she'll go to JAIL. Why? She's also racist. She dislike Chinese. She also dislike some malays. Those nosy people like her and gossipers she LOVE them but if you're those who aren't she don't like. The reason why I called her "agar-agar" is because her butt is saggy. Seriously. The time when she hit her butt,the thing were like so saggy! JELLY. LOL.
Her daughter is really like a bamboo. Arrogant too. Thinking she's really GREAT. Bleah! Give me a paper bag. I feel like puking. She's gross. I still remember last time she always ask me to teach her English. She doesn't even know what's the difference of singular and pural. She also don't know past tense,present tense and future tense. Oh god. I wonder what is in her head.
Must be thinking of boys all the way. Sheesh. Last year at about 9PM my family and I saw her and a group of boys along with girls sitting under the void deck. Sheesh. Yucks. Those boys? Ewww... Really no taste. No class. Not up to standard. Sheesh. I don't see anything good in them. They don't look decent.
Are girls attracted to bad boys? I wonder... In a way,maybe yes but if you were to think about it. Hmm? Well? How bad? I won't go out with a teddy boy. (Gangster,i.e) I prefer the decent ones but of course not too nerdy. Haha. =) My friend once said that I like those too decent type. I sort of disagree. I don't think their that too decent. Decent,yes but not TOO decent. I think they have their sides too. Come on,human. What do you expect? You can't have them behave the way you want them to right? You can't control them.
Oh well... I'm feeling much better now.
I guess I'll go and do other stuff for now. Hmm? On second thought,maybe mapling. =D
Since I think my dad decided not to go out. =)
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠3:56:00 pm♠
// D: Illusionist
+ Diane
+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist
+ 0ctober 4th 1990
+ Libra
+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)
+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)
BLUE IS THE COLOUR
// What does your sleeping position says about you?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.
If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope
It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog
// What's your love type
Your Love Type: ISFJ
In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.
Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.
Best matches: ESTP or ESFP
// Are you too picky when it comes to men?
You Are Picky When it Counts
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!
// What kind of sexy girl are you?
You Are Fun Sexy
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!
// What kind of girl are you?
You are a Brainy Girl!
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!
// Are you spoiled?
You Are 24% Spoiled
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.
// What flavour Pocky are you?
You Are Flan Pocky
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!
// Could you be violent?
There's a Chance You Could Be Violent
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.
// Speed test
95 words
// —The Voice Within—
// Other Illusionist♠
Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]
Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
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————
Berwin
Belson
————
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————
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Donn
————
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————
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Faezzah [2]
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————
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————
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————
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————
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Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han
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// Misc*
My Past Entries (2003 *February* - 2005 *January*)
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April 2005 ;
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+*-*+