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// My Illusions*

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Yawns yawns yawns! Going to sleep SOON. Yes it's late. It's about 1AM. Well? Maybe at least on a school day but school starts at 8.45AM. =D So well? At LEAST I get to sleep a little later. Besides,tomorrow there ain't any tiring subjects. Well? Maybe I do have something. Science refresher test. Boo hoo hoo! Well? At least it ain't that bad as high jump right? Can you imagine I sort of forgot how to jump? I'm nervous! Sheesh... Crap!

Anyway,was out earlier on (I mean Tuesday). Bought four polo tees. Oh yes! Haha... I've always wanted to get myself polo tees as I don't have polo tees. Well? I do but only a few. Hmm? So yeah that's the reason why I buy polo tees. Haha. Ok,it wasn't a good excuse. Well? Alright. I kind of like polo tees. So yeah. =) Four polo tees - Two from U2 and the other two from Bossini. Also got myself The Body Shop fragrance. Moonflower! Yup! Same as my shower cream. =D La La LaAaAaa... Simply love the smell. Ahhhhh! Nice.

Hmm? Oh gosh. I spent a lot. Let me see..... Hmm...........? Oh. Errr... $102. Oh my. I didn't realise. Well? Maybe to some it isn't a lot but to me,it is! I'm not that type who goes round spending like nobody's business. Oh? Well... Maybe if my mother or father is paying then that's another story. =D

Lots of money has been flying away from me. Will it come back? "Money! Where are you? Please come home to me." LOL!

What can I say? Money are like friends. Easy come,easy go. Only true friends will stay by your side no matter what. Their like birds I guess but if their birds as in a group I'll catch them all. Friends? Hmm? You can find all types of them. The liars,the cheaters,bitches,jerks,hypocrites,backstabbers,etc. What about true friends? Can you find them? It's REALLY hard.

Day 1 -- Make friends + Be friends

Day 2 -- Friends + Getting to know each other

Day 3 -- Getting to know each other better

Day 4 -- "Good friends?"

Day 5 -- Still "good friends"

Day 6 -- Friends

Day 7 -- Enemies

See the pattern? What I mean is... Yes,you can make friends in a day but anything can happen right? True friends? Well... It's hard to find true friends. You can have a lot of friends but true friends? Not that easy. Even my good friend we take time to know each other and stuff like that. Well? At least my good friends,I know them for at least three years or so. BUT I still remember back then in Secondary One. It's SO HARD. Friends? Who couldn't be friends? Good friends? Oh god... It was like hell for me.

Thank god I finally found a good friend in class. =) Yes and I'm glad. Our friendship is getting closer each day. =) So... Yeah... It takes time in everything that we do.

Sometimes even good friends can turn out to be enemy. Why did I say that? Well... I experienced it before. That's why I mention it. =( I know her for six years. Those memories,those laughter,those smiles and jokes. =( It hurts me. Six years and going on seven... She broke off with me. I knew that she'll ask for that because of SOMEONE!

I hate her and I can't seem to forgive her. WHY? Well... She hurt her. Well? She listen to that idiot whom I quarrelled with and she didn't even know what really happen between me and that idiot and there she goes. In the beginning I sort of can't accept the fact because I know her for six years and so far there weren't any problems or whatsoever. We were always fine and happy. As usual talking crap and laughing. Get the picture? Yeah and when this IDIOT told her something I couldn't believe she believe her! =(

Oh well... Few days later to a week I sort of accept the fact but I can't seem to move on. I still hate her. Both of them. Well? For now... I only hate that idiot. I don't have that hate feeling towards her but maybe angry. I'm angry because she trust her more than me and that's really sad. I feel like there's an arrow piercing through my heart or rather someone taking my heart out. Bleeding heart? Well? At least it isn't for now.

Hmm? Speaking of bleeding heart... It was already bleeding but that wasn't the only matter to it,there were more! For years my heart has always been bleeding. It can't seem to recover. No plaster or bandage is able to stop it. I tend to get emotionally upset at times don't know why either. Well? It's almost ending. My heart is in the healing process. I'm much emotionally stable. As in like I'm not that who at times get emotionally upset in just a tick.

Sometimes letting it go it's a good thing than holding it back. Holding it back actually brings pain to your heart only. It hurts you and it might kill you. The best way is to let it go. Be free and start anew though it might hurt but hey... It's better than you bleeding right?

I know that at times she asked those friends who know me about me. Asking how am I and stuff like that. Why ask? Regret? Ha! Too late. I don't think I'm able to accept her as a friend. EVEN IF I DO,I don't think it'll be the same. Seriously,if I were to accept her as a friend again,I don't think it'll be the same as last time. We're in different world and I don't think I'm able to keep it up and adapt to her world. I'm sick and tired of it. I wanna be me. I want to be free. I want it to be my way. It's my world,it's my choice. Like it or not. Be it that way and mind your own.

Anyway,I don't really care about it. If she doesn't want to be my friend that let it be. I'm not going care. Why care about stuff like that? Especially someone whom you've always trusted and have hopes on hurts you. It was a stupid mistake? Ha! Well? Everyone make mistakes but HELLO! Earth to C. You hurt me. I'm hurt and disappointed with you. How could you do such thing? I have plans and you DESTORY it.

I've always wanted to have us going out to do some stuff together and have fun BUT it never happen. It all ended the way I didn't want to and expect it to. It took me some time to sort of forget it and move on. I keep asking myself WHY and how did it happen this way.

Oh well... What's gone is gone. Look ahead,move on.

I can't figure why I couldn't solve my own issues while others I could like give them advise and stuff like that and well? Most of them worked. =( I wish mine was like that but it never seem to be like that. Complicated? I guess in a way it may be a little complicated. My issues only takes time to solve. Months to years. Yes,that's how long it is. =( Most of them are quite hurtful. I hate it. >_<"

Oh well... Then again,in every situation there's always a solution.

Alright. I'm off now. Yawns yawns yawns... Thinking of all those it made me type all those. Haha. Yeah and it took me some time to type it out. Including thinking/recalling those facts.

Ok,this is it.

Peace out!

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠1:29:00 am♠

// D: Illusionist

+ Diane

+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist

+ 0ctober 4th 1990

+ Libra

+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)

+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)

^{BLUE IS THE COLOUR}

// What does your sleeping position says about you?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

// What's your love type

Your Love Type: ISFJ

The Nurturer

In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.

Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.

Best matches: ESTP or ESFP

What's Your Love Type?

// Are you too picky when it comes to men?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

// What kind of sexy girl are you?

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

// What kind of girl are you?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

// Are you spoiled?

You Are 24% Spoiled

You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head.
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.

Are You Spoiled?

// What flavour Pocky are you?

You Are Flan Pocky

Your attitude: modern and offbeat
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

// Could you be violent?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

// Speed test
95 words

Speed test

// —The Voice Within—

// Other Illusionist♠

Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]

Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han

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