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My Past Illusions
// My Illusions*
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
[ 28.12.05 ]
I guess this is the only place I can spill it all. I simply can't take it. I'm holding back my tears and my heart is aching. Times like this simply sucks. I don't like the idea of it.
Arghhhhh!! Don't want to mention what happened. It's rubbish. I hate it and it sucks. All I want is peace. I had enough of it. This world is shitty. Frankly speaking this world isn't fair. Want to know why? HUMANS are always making it shitty. Whatever happen is because of humans. God is fair but not humans. They are always so selfish.
Was in a very bad mood just now. Fish and that's all I can say. Part of me when upside down and it's sinking. What a "terrific" day huh? Those fishes. Die you damn thing! Whatever.
Oh why oh why... Did I woke up the wrong side of the bed? Sheesh. That's rubbish. Hate it,never like it. 28 of December. How interesting. Piece of crap. Yeah,crap!!
Oh god... I've never written an entry like this before. I simply can't help it anymore! I got nobody to turn to. All my anger is kept within and those tears of anger is being held back. My heart is aching. My eyes are pain and so does my head. It's aching and it's bleeding I guess? My heart will never heal. Enough of those crappy stuff,now this? Hmm? So what's next? I wonder......
Trying every little thing to make me forget all this crappy things and calm my soul but why couldn't I just settle down? I still feel a little angry though it's been like three hours ago. Sheesh. A little hint. I simply can't really calm down! I'll see that person no matter what. Be it,kitchen... blah blah blah. I guess you know what I mean by now.
I hate this world. I hate the people around. I hate everything.
This world is wonderful but those shitters make it horrible. I love some people but I hate the evil people around. I love the stuff but shitters make it sucky. Oh god........ I wonder what's next.
Whatever happen to the light that I once have? Everything is shitty ever since that troublemaker appear in my life. The life I had about five to six years ago was rather peaceful than now. Oh god... Why does everything have to change too dramastically? Is this some kind of punishment? When did I go wrong? I didn't do anything wrong back then. Seriously,I think I'm way better compared to the person I am now. I was too innocent back then! I don't hate,I only love. All I could ever think was FUN! Friends! Freedom! That's all...
Things started to change ever since then... If I never met those suckers,I bet my life would still be peaceful. It's not the above mentioned person. Someone you people don't know. Worst of all that person's kiddies were studying in the same school as me! How nice? Shitty huh? It's a long story actually. It affects me too. It sort of emotionally affect me. I begin to hate them ever since that day.
Life was a little shitty I guess. Friends are also shitty. Especially if you're the middle person and both parties keep poking you and you don't know who to listen to! Why? Well... I think both parties aren't really that sincere. They just wanna like snatch me and see who gets it. Gets to be my friend that is and it's like when I'm their friend,that person lose. Isn't it dumb? Besides,the two were good friends actually but they had a little conflict and things were when loose I guess.
Don't know what were they thinking. Anyway,I'm not really their friend. It's more like they were sort of making use of me? Hmm? That's what I think. I knew they weren't really that sincere so I play along. I was just acting their friend but to speak the truth,I don't like them. Hypocrites. Yeah,that's the word for them.
Oh god... I can't believe I'm spilling all these? Oh heck!
I'm off now. I've stuff to do.
Peace.
[ tHiS wOrLd hAs LosT iTs gLOrY... LeTs StArT A BrAnD nEw StOrY.............. ]
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠4:16:00 pm♠
// D: Illusionist
+ Diane
+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist
+ 0ctober 4th 1990
+ Libra
+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)
+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)
BLUE IS THE COLOUR
// What does your sleeping position says about you?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.
If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope
It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog
// What's your love type
Your Love Type: ISFJ
In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.
Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.
Best matches: ESTP or ESFP
// Are you too picky when it comes to men?
You Are Picky When it Counts
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!
// What kind of sexy girl are you?
You Are Fun Sexy
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!
// What kind of girl are you?
You are a Brainy Girl!
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!
// Are you spoiled?
You Are 24% Spoiled
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.
// What flavour Pocky are you?
You Are Flan Pocky
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!
// Could you be violent?
There's a Chance You Could Be Violent
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.
// Speed test
95 words
// —The Voice Within—
// Other Illusionist♠
Special links:
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Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]
Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han
The Other Side Of D
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// Misc*
My Past Entries (2003 *February* - 2005 *January*)
March 2005 ;
April 2005 ;
May 2005 ;
June 2005 ;
July 2005 ;
August 2005 ;
September 2005 ;
October 2005 ;
November 2005 ;
December 2005 ;
January 2006 ;
February 2006 ;
March 2006 ;
April 2006 ;
May 2006 ;
June 2006 ;
July 2006 ;
August 2006 ;
September 2006 ;
October 2006 ;
November 2006 ;
December 2006 ;
January 2007 ;
February 2007 ;
March 2007 ;
April 2007 ;
May 2007 ;
June 2007 ;
July 2007 ;
August 2007 ;
September 2007 ;
October 2007 ;
November 2007 ;
December 2007 ;
January 2008 ;
February 2008 ;
March 2008 ;
April 2008 ;
May 2008 ;
June 2008 ;
July 2008 ;
August 2008 ;
September 2008 ;
October 2008 ;
November 2008 ;
December 2008 ;
January 2009 ;
February 2009 ;
March 2009 ;
April 2009 ;
May 2009 ;
June 2009 ;
July 2009 ;
August 2009 ;
September 2009 ;
October 2009 ;
December 2009 ;
January 2010 ;
March 2010 ;
May 2010 ;
August 2010 ;
October 2010 ;
December 2010 ;
March 2011 ;
September 2011 ;
December 2011 ;
April 2012 ;
+*-*+