// My Illusions*
Sunday, November 27, 2005
[ 27.11.05 ]
...Like I'm Right Beside You But Still No Word From You..............
Haha. Backstreet Boys "I still..." I just love that song. It's like stuck in my head for now. I can loop the song over and over without feeling irritated or sick of it. Love that song. Love that song! Love that song!!! Haha. =) Oh,I'm listening to the song at the moment. =D
The song reminds me of something. Oh let's not talk about it.
You know I've been wondering this few days if all those that they say were quite true. I sort of don't agree with some but it just comes back to mind. It'll bounce back to me and I can't help it already! It's like bugging me! Darn it. Hate it. Whatever. =)
For all these years have I close the door? Am I sort of insane in a way? Did I completely shut and stick to one? I choose to ignore and still for it? ....and so on.
I feel stupid at times. Why didn't I go through all this earlier on? Damn. It does make sense after asking myself all these. What I mean by going through is those questions.
There's lots of dudes out there,why ... ? One of my friend said something about this issue.
He said... "Why that person? Not worth it. So many guys out there,so.........?"
The other said... "I don't know what's so good about that person. There are others that are much better."
Well? It's not like I'm still into that person. I told them I give up on everything yet they wouldn't believe. I don't know whatelse to say or do. They still think I'm still into that person. Maybe last time. Now? Come on. Give me a break.
All this time,it's just an illusion. I give up. I'm tired of it. Why think of all this? There are stuff way important than this. Anyway,it's my problem if I want to fall for who or whatsoever. I don't know why all this comments appear.
Yes,maybe I was foolish. Even after hearing those "He said" stuff from some people I still refuse to react. I ignore the fact. I only believe in the illusion I guess. Thinking of all these,they're aren't worth my time.
I guess it's better off this way. I'm sick and tired of it. I need to catch my breath.
To think of it,I was a little selfish. All I could think of was simply that person. I try to forget,I try as hard as I could yet I can't. To some they may think I'm a player. Hey! I'm not. The reason is I just want to forget everything.
Some friends were like... "Hey,like so many guys. Play girl." I get a few of those same comments. Darn it! Why can't they just mind their own? Well,okay I don't have the rights to shut them up or whatsoever. Their free to comment but can they please understand the reason. Not all understand. A handful of them understands and I'm glad that I have some friends who understands me clearly.
#1 - I'm not a playmate. I don't go around flirt and ditching guys.
#2 - I don't like flirts nor flirting.
#3 - I don't wish to have a short relationship.
#4 - I like relationship that will last. (Long relationship,that is)
#5 - I'm quite a faithful person.
Hate it when people always judge people. Never underestimate a person. You'll never know what the person is capable of. He/She may have a skill that you don't.
LA La La...
Hmm? Should I cut my hair? Keep thinking if I should or not.
I'm confused! Help!!
Oh well. Later!
//illusionist*
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠5:30:00 pm♠