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My Past Illusions
// My Illusions*
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
[ 15.11.05 ]
Is life a joke or for you to suffer?
You know sometimes I just don't understand how the other person interprets it as. I just simply don't understand people at times. Well? Neither do people understand me I guess. Whatever the issue is,it's really hard to understand the other. Aww man. Darn it. I'm starting to have foul mood again. I hate it! Sucks!!! Oh fish. Whatever...
Anyway,I'm hurt. First I got a little jealous now hurt. Looking at "those stuff",I'm hurt!! =( I think I really need someone to talk to. Someone to make me feel comfortable. Console me in other words. ='( Sounds like a baby? I can't help it. I'm hurt. I guess I never got over the truth that's in front of me. It has been in front of me for so long yet I choose to ignore it and still go for it. How foolish. Indeed very. I try and try yet I still fail. Well? Almost successful but half way failed. Oh god. I wish god will give me courage and determination to really get it to 100%. I'm halfway there but I ........ It's complicated.
Oh. 12 midnight already. Oh well......
You know.......
We watch television. We see those shows. We are entertained. We get excited. We're happy. More like a win-win situation but................ REALITY ISN'T at ALL. Sometimes I don't understand why do I still hang onto it? I'm such a foolish person. I knew that we can never work things out yet I believe in the illusion. Oh great. Tell me what's next? What other foolish things am I going to commit? What other worthless thing am I going to go after? Sometimes I asked myself why - why I can give advise to others and try to give them solutions but why can't I solve my own?
I feel crushed when I think about it. I feel hurt. I feel stupid about it. It's like I'm so bloody foolish! FOOLISH FOOLISH FOOLISH!!! Am I that [so] wrong? I don't think so. Yes,I make mistakes. I did stupid things. I was foolish. I admit that I'm wrong. I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect. We all learn from mistakes. If there's you & me,there's I & we. Everybody is god's children. Tell me who never make mistakes in your whole entire life? If you admit that you never,you are obviously LYING.
I know and I realise. My past behaviour was a little ... To some I'm a player. To some they dislike me because I'm noisy. To some they think I'm action. Ha ha ha! Oh right. What a joke. Noisy? Maybe I am. I talk a lot and I love to laugh a lot. Player? I don't think I'm a player because there are other players who are really players. I don't play people out. What my hearts wants to say,it decides. Forget it. All this shitty things are making me going nuts. I give up all this shit. It's time I 100% move on.
I'm evolving. Things change,people change but the names and face will never change. So why can I be myself? I can't always be the same forever. I've to experiment a little but to the extend.
Alright,I'm off before this complicated world gets upset.
Bah! Whatever.
D-Illusionist*
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠12:17:00 am♠
// D: Illusionist
+ Diane
+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist
+ 0ctober 4th 1990
+ Libra
+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)
+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)
BLUE IS THE COLOUR
// What does your sleeping position says about you?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.
If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope
It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog
// What's your love type
Your Love Type: ISFJ
In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.
Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.
Best matches: ESTP or ESFP
// Are you too picky when it comes to men?
You Are Picky When it Counts
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!
// What kind of sexy girl are you?
You Are Fun Sexy
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!
// What kind of girl are you?
You are a Brainy Girl!
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!
// Are you spoiled?
You Are 24% Spoiled
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.
// What flavour Pocky are you?
You Are Flan Pocky
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!
// Could you be violent?
There's a Chance You Could Be Violent
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.
// Speed test
95 words
// —The Voice Within—
// Other Illusionist♠
Special links:
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Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]
Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
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Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
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Donn
————
Elvis
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————
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Faezzah [2]
Faiz
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Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
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Gary's Lover Den
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Grace
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Guo Wei
————
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————
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————
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Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
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Jian Sheng
Jiayi
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————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han
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// Misc*
My Past Entries (2003 *February* - 2005 *January*)
March 2005 ;
April 2005 ;
May 2005 ;
June 2005 ;
July 2005 ;
August 2005 ;
September 2005 ;
October 2005 ;
November 2005 ;
December 2005 ;
January 2006 ;
February 2006 ;
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December 2011 ;
April 2012 ;
+*-*+