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// My Illusions*

Friday, November 11, 2005

[ 11.10.05 ]

Dealing with [very] emotional people is a heartache I tell you. Yes,I am emotional but not to the extend. I have my ups and downs. You too have it. What can I say after all? This is life. Live with it. Like it or not,you still have to move on in life as it goes on everyday. You can't freeze time. How interesting if there's such thing.

Oh well...

You may be wondering why I blog so early in the morning. Yeah,for those who knows that I usually wake up late must be wondering what caught me up. Earlier on at about 6.20AM,I was awake because I feel hot. I turn to my left and saw the fan was off. I was irritated by it so I decided to switch it on without realising my mother was actually sweeping the floor. So I switched it on then she started nagging. Damn,it was noisy I tell you. She then talk about yesterday. It wasn't even me! I'm not involved in whatever thing she was caught up with yet she doesn't care she continues with the same old thing. The thing that makes me mad was "For what call me mother? Don't ask for me anything. Go,go and ask from the person who you're so nice with yesterday."

I was like... "what the ----" but I didn't say that.

It makes me mad. I mean I didn't offend her at all yesterday and yet she said that?! It doesn't make sense. It's crap! Oh... Not only that. She goes on I don't know what. Imagining that I have ill intentions towards her. Oh pleaseeeee....... *rolls eyes* What would I? No matter how angry I am towards her or so whatever,I don't have that kind of stupid intentions. Anyway,it's a waste of time. Only dumb people or people who is TOO BLOODY FREE has that kind of intentions. Not me. No matter how angry or unsatisfied,I won't ever have that kind of intentions. So to those IDIOTS OUT THERE: If you think that I'm that type,get out! I'm not. And to those idiots who doesn't like me as a person,you back off and stop reading my blog. You busybody. Mind your own,you freako!

I'm so pissed off. Damn it.

To those of you who thinks that you know me that well. Sad to say,you don't. Yes,I can share my stuff with you but it just isn't ME yet. It's just a minor me. I can be complicated,I can be easy to understand. It's how you look at it. Like it or not,I'm Diane. I'm unique,I'm me and no one can be me because I'm the one and only one. If you think I'm those noisy type and whatsoever. Judge for all you want. I know what type of person I am so keep your comments to yourself. Anyway,before you comment,have you ever look at yourself first? Are you that ****-- great? I never said I'm very good nor did I say I'm innocent. I'm not what you think I am.

Yes,I talk a lot. So? What's the big deal? Ever seen me very quiet? Well? I can be both,it just depends who I'm with and who am I talking to,and also the situation. I can be emotional at times. I have lots of thoughts and some just can't be express. I can be a listener. I do give advise. Whatever it is,I try to understand.

1) IF you think that I'm "very" emotional. You just don't know how emotional is my mother.
2) IF you think I'm unreasonable. How am I going to rate my mother than?
3) IF you think that I'm that type who only talk about ownself and never understand others. Are you saying my mother is ego?
4) IF you think that I don't have that little patience in me and I mean not even one bit. You just don't know my mother.
5) IF you think I flare up easily. Then what is my mother being labelled as?

You just don't know my mother. Never say I am the same as my mother because I'm not. I & her are never the same. Well? We can be close but we are never the same. I feel that I'm not so bad as her. She sometimes don't have that patience and she flares up easily. Sometimes worst,I & my brother talk about other stuff,she suspect we're talking about her. She likes to pressurize people. You just don't know her because you're not me and she's not your mother.

Things I like about her is that sometimes she can be very nice and caring but I hate it when those stuff happens. (Those that I've mentioned)

It definately sucks. Arghhh... because of that,I can't sleep. Tears keep flowing after that conflict I had with her. I don't know if I'm angry or sad but those tears have stopped and I've washed up already. Darn it. I slept for four hours only. Maybe later I'll take an afternoon nap. Those tears aren't because I feel guilty or something. Those tears that are flowing is actually tears of anger. Sad? Maybe abit. I have feelings. We all have feelings but she does couldn't be bothered. She never say sorry even if it was her fault. She's stubborn yet calls me stubborn. Yeah. I am stubborn but not as stubborn as her. Sometimes I give way. For her,it's like all the way she doesn't wants to lose.

Actually,it's not about losing or winning. You know that crap. If it was your fault,an apology won't hurt or harm anyone. We live in this world. We can't be like always winning all the time. At times you lose too. This world is a small world. Life is short. We age everyday. Every minute,every second,every hour. We are all god's children. Sometimes I just don't understand what people are thinking. If only I can read those minds of theirs.

Oh well. I better not go on. It's worthless talking about it.

I'm simply sick and tired of it.

-D-Illusionist-

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠8:20:00 am♠

// D: Illusionist

+ Diane

+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist

+ 0ctober 4th 1990

+ Libra

+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)

+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)

^{BLUE IS THE COLOUR}

// What does your sleeping position says about you?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

// What's your love type

Your Love Type: ISFJ

The Nurturer

In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.

Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.

Best matches: ESTP or ESFP

What's Your Love Type?

// Are you too picky when it comes to men?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

// What kind of sexy girl are you?

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

// What kind of girl are you?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

// Are you spoiled?

You Are 24% Spoiled

You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head.
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.

Are You Spoiled?

// What flavour Pocky are you?

You Are Flan Pocky

Your attitude: modern and offbeat
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

// Could you be violent?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

// Speed test
95 words

Speed test

// —The Voice Within—

// Other Illusionist♠

Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]

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Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
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————
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Belson
————
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————
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Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
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————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
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Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
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————
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————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
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————
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Pei Jun
————
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Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han

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