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// My Illusions*

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

[ 08.11.05 ]

Hmm... It's 11.50PM now. Oh well...

You know sometimes when I think about it,I think that being single rocks! =) You don't have to have someone to be happy and enjoying life. I mean... Come on ya? Even if you don't have that "someone",you can be happy and enjoying life too.

Some people feel bad about being single. To them,it's like being unwanted and lonely. In my own opinion,that's so wrong. Unwanted? Lonely? What about your friends? Your family? I bet your family cares for you. So you're not all that. Well? At least there's someone who cares for you. So stop thinking that way. I just can't stand some people thinking that way.

To be honest,I don't have a steady before. Virtual steady? Haha. That's crap ya? I was just trying out only but that doesn't count. Anyway,to me at this age it's just puppy love. For some it's more like monkey see,monkey do. You see people have one,you too want to have one and that's like so wrong. You're a human without brains if you're just following the crowd. They always say majority wins but you know what? It doesn't have to be right all the time. I mean,you have a brain so use it wisely. Those brains of yours that god has given is something to be use wisely and not to keep it and let the brain cells die off like that.

Being heartbroken. Being hurt. Confused? Who doesn't go through all that? I bet everyone does at a point of time. In this world,you can't have everything. You take some and give up some. Life's like that. What can I say?

Well? It's not like I've never like anyone before. I ever and it can be painful at times. Hoping the person will feel the same way to... You know stuff like that. But the truth is,you can never force love. If it's yours,it's yours. If it isn't,you can't do anything about it. Well? You can't make someone to like you but... You can try to make someone like you. Well? In a way that is. You can try win the person's heart but the person still doesn't like you,that's it. Move on. You can't do anything about it. Sometimes it's better to be friends than more than that. Oh well... I guess love is complicated. Well? It is actually. Ok,I advise you not to find love BUT let love find you. I think it's better that way. Unexpect the unexpected. When you expect something very much,the end result will be a pain in the heart and it can affect you at times. Well? Depending on the person.

WE human beings have feelings and it's not wrong to have feelings towards someone. I have no objection because I too was a sucker for it. That's one thing I hate about myself. I am always so weak towards the person I like. It's like I'll soften and melt. Unlike the person I dislike or my friends I can firmly decide and say whatever I want to but towards the person I like....... Aww man. I'm just so weak to do anything. Hopefully that doesn't happen again.

I want to be someone stronger and not weak when it comes to stuff like that. That's why I've decided not to think of guys because it could a pain in the ass. Especially guys who likes to talk nasty stuff about you. That's just sick. You have no rights to judge people so keep your comments to yourself. I'll appreciate it very much.

Hmm...? What can I say? Guys just go for looks only. Like it or not. That's fact. Some guys are just blind. They just haven't seen prettier girls yet but I feel that guys should stop doing that. One example that I envy for a guy is my brother. My younger brother who is four years younger than me has that mentality to think this way.

He once told me this,"You see the girls heart not the face. IF she's pretty and sexy but has a bad heart,she's bad. One more thing,I hate gold diggers."

I was amused by his sentence.I was stunned. Haha. Yeah,who would have thought a kid brother of mine to think that way. Alright,so he prove me wrong about guys going for looks only. His good friend thinks the same way as my brother. That's like "wow". Haha. Well? But I still have to say that most guys go for looks. Ok,to be fair... Girls go for looks too. But hey,not all okay?

You know,sometimes I wonder what does LOVE means to people. Is it saying "I love you" every single moment to each other? Being there for one another. Is it that feeling? Or to some to get closer to each other. (If you know what I mean) *ahem*

Anyway,whatever it is. I wonder if they know the true meaning of it? Even I till now don't really know what it really means. Does true love exist? It looks really easy in the movies. People falling in love........ Living together,happily ever after. I wish life is like in the movies. So easy and so sweet. Hmm...? And romantic? Haha. IF only it was. Or like in the fairy tales. The princess and her prince charming. Dancing together.Riding the horse together. Watching the sunset together. And when the prince kiss the princess,it's like everything around them is just turns out to be fine. They get married and oh...... What a happy ending. I guess all this will never happen. I can only dream about it in my dreams.

*sigh* Just now a friend of mine was talking about love matters. He was telling me that he had confessed his feelings to this girl and he doesn't know what to do. I'm surprised that this is his third time confessing.

Compared to me. I only confessed once but it was stupid. I didn't really express how I feel. I don't know how to confess it actually. Some of it was tales. I just make up some. I really don't know if I should tell everything how I feel and all. I just find it a little stupid and embarrassing so some it I make it up. I find it all dumb. I should just keep it all to myself. Oh well. That was over already. I can't turn back time. I wish I could. All those mistakes I've done and my stupidity. I wish I could take it all back. *sigh* What to do? It's over already. Well,I guess I can learn from those mistakes and not make the same ones.

Sometimes I'm afraid to fall deeply for someone. I'm afraid that I'll be hurt again. I don't want to be hurt again. It's a sour experience and it gives me heartache. Thinking of all this isn't worth it. There are things way more important than this. I shouldn't be thinking of all this complicating stuff. I should just enjoy life and have fun while I still can! =)

So those of you who is single and thinks that it's miserable. Think of it this way,if I'm happy with it,why can't you too be happy about being single? Anyway,it's less stress and you have more freedom. I know sometimes the feeling is just too strong but some things you just have to put it aside for awhile and think of other stuff. Other stuff that makes you smile instead of worrying. IF only everyone in this world will just stop the war and smile. Be happy and love each other. Love,Peace,Harmony.

That would be great. I just don't know what are all this people thinking. We are all god's children. If we can't have peace,we can't have love and this world will be forever like that. We can't change the world nor the people around but if people will think of it differently,I bet this world is very loving and peaceful.

I guess it's meant to be like a puzzle for you to solve. What can I say? Life is a roller coaster ride. There's always something everyday but are you ready for the challenge?

Ok,before I get carried away I'll stop here.

Give peace a chance.

D-Illusionist-----x

♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠12:44:00 am♠

// D: Illusionist

+ Diane

+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist

+ 0ctober 4th 1990

+ Libra

+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)

+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)

^{BLUE IS THE COLOUR}

// What does your sleeping position says about you?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

// What's your love type

Your Love Type: ISFJ

The Nurturer

In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.

Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.

Best matches: ESTP or ESFP

What's Your Love Type?

// Are you too picky when it comes to men?

You Are Picky When it Counts

Like most sane women, you want a great guy who will treat you well.
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!

Are You Too Picky When It Comes To Men?

// What kind of sexy girl are you?

You Are Fun Sexy

You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy.
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!

What Kind of Sexy Girl Are You?

// What kind of girl are you?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

// Are you spoiled?

You Are 24% Spoiled

You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head.
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.

Are You Spoiled?

// What flavour Pocky are you?

You Are Flan Pocky

Your attitude: modern and offbeat
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

// Could you be violent?

There's a Chance You Could Be Violent

Overall, you're a pretty chill person - and you have a good handle on your emotions.
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.

Could You Be Violent?

// Speed test
95 words

Speed test

// —The Voice Within—

// Other Illusionist♠

Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]

Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han

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