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My Past Illusions
// My Illusions*
Monday, October 31, 2005
[ 31.10.05 ]
Looking back at the things that I've done. I was trying to be someone. Hmm...? I wonder who?
Haha.
Well? I was looking at my previous journal entries (Two years ago and last year's) in my previous journal (Easyjournal). Hmm..? I noticed that I talk a lot about boys in that journal. Haha. Well? You people see all those but actually I tell you something. Whoever I say I have feelings for or like,I'm always stuck to ... . Whatever I do,that fella is always on my mind instead of whoever I say I have feelings for. Weird? Oh well... Don't know why but as for now,I don't have anyone in my mind.
Why talk about boys? Forget them. Let's enjoy!
I just don't seem to be the usual me who used to talk about them like I used to. Well? I still do talk about guys but I don't seem to be very interested in them. I don't like anyone. I just feel that there are other stuff way important and better than this. Why bother so much?
Maybe I used to be a sucker for it back then. Not for now yeah? I'm looking at this in my own view. So if you don't like it,let it be that way cause I ain't gonna change for anything. I'm me and I'm simply me. Not more than that. Accept me for who I am. Sometimes I asked myself what's the purpose of living in this world? I mean what are my objectives. I never thought of it back then. I was childish back then. Didn't have that mental to be able to think ahead. Maybe that's why I was weird with stuff I do. I did stuff to what or how I want it to be. It was like my rules,my world. No one can stop me let me have it my way. Well? Sort of. I didn't care much about myself too. All I've always wanted is to be happy everyday. No worries.
"Hello world! Welcome to planet earth."
Yeah. Finally I've woke up from my dream world. Guess it's a little too late? Hmm...? Maybe not. Nevermind,I'll try to be a better person from now on. I don't want to be like what I used to be in the past. Well? There are some things I like about me in the past and some that I don't. If there's a rewind button I think I'll be the first to hit it and undo those mistakes. Better still if there's restart. So I can start anew and forget about those sour memories and only keep those precious ones.
To some,life sucks. Life is hell. Stuff like that. At times I admit that I too think of it that way. But hey! Look on the bright side. This world,there's nothing perfect. Wanna know something?
Ok,let me be honest. As you know I like guys. Blah blah blah. Yes,yes but you know what? I've always wanted the guy to be almost perfect. =X Oops... I spilled my milk. Oh well? What's there to hide? So if like that guy like me and I think his not that perfect I just dislike him. Haha. Stupid right? Yeah but I don't know why. It comes to me naturally. I still remember back then where I treated some of them badly because of that. Oops! Oh well... I hope they'll forgive me. But it's like when I start to like 'em a little,I just don't feel right to go on as they think I either hate them or they just don't feel like what they used to towards me. We took different paths. I feel so bad but I apologize already. Anyway,we're still friends and I'm glad. =) Even though we're friends sometimes we feel a little awkward when we talk about stuff like relationships. Cause we know what happened before but sometimes I feel that feeling again but we know we can't. So we're just friends only.
I've made a lot of mistakes and I know I'm not perfect. Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes but we can learn from our mistakes and not make the same mistakes. =)
I'm typing this it's not because I wanna brag or something like that but I hope that whoever who is reading this will look at life in a different view instead of the usual "Life sucks". I never say that I'm very good or innocent. I'm very playful too just like anyone else but all I'm saying is "Think twice before making your decision".
I feel good as I've the time to blog like I used to do. I'll try to blog as often as possible and speak my mind out. =) It's a good way to express myself as sometimes I just couldn't express it like that.
Alright,this is it for this entry.
Now you see me.
D-Illusionist----x
Now you don't.
♥Ashley Kid♥ × ♠8:49:00 pm♠
// D: Illusionist
+ Diane
+ Anne, Ashley Kid, Silencer-D, D-Illusionist
+ 0ctober 4th 1990
+ Libra
+ Single and swinging, not looking - Likes making new friends
+ Mixed
(Chinese, Malay, Peranakan, Indonesian)
+ Park View Primary School (1997 - 2002)
+ Hai Sing Catholic School (2003 - 2006)
+ ITE College East (Info-Comm Technology; 2007 - 2008)
+ Currently: Singapore Polytechnic (Digital Media)
BLUE IS THE COLOUR
// What does your sleeping position says about you?
What Your Sleeping Position Says
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.
If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope
It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog
// What's your love type
Your Love Type: ISFJ
In love, you are quietly intense, devoted, and tend too hold on too long.
For you, sex is a way to get closer - and a way to take care of your partner.
Overall, you are altruistic and eager to please your sweetie.
However, you tend to also be non-confrontational and secretly frustrated with relationship issues.
Best matches: ESTP or ESFP
// Are you too picky when it comes to men?
You Are Picky When it Counts
But you're also willing to put up with a few flaws in your Mr. Right
You should congratulate yourself on having a realistic approach to dating.
You probably have quite a few great guys you can date!
// What kind of sexy girl are you?
You Are Fun Sexy
Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.
You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through.
Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!
// What kind of girl are you?
You are a Brainy Girl!
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!
// Are you spoiled?
You Are 24% Spoiled
You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.
// What flavour Pocky are you?
You Are Flan Pocky
East meets west... sweet meets salty.
You're a pro at bringing unusual combos together!
// Could you be violent?
There's a Chance You Could Be Violent
Sometimes your anger gets the best of you, and end up regretting how you act.
Try to curb your temper more often. It only has to get out of control once to do some damage.
// Speed test
95 words
// —The Voice Within—
// Other Illusionist♠
Special links:
CeMTA (Drama) Blog
Ms Angeline
Class Blog - 1A/03 ['o9]
Meet The Illusi♠nist:
Adib
Aiba
Aidyl
Amelia
Andrew
Atiiyah
Azizah
————
Berwin
Belson
————
Chloe
Clara
————
Darlene*♦
Dickson (Snoopy)
Donn
————
Elvis
Eugene
————
Faezzah
Faezzah [2]
Faiz
Faizal (Bear)
Fiqah♦
Fyeqa
————
Gabriel
Gary's Lover Den
Gillian
Gladys
Grace
Guan Ting (GT)
Guo Wei
————
Hafiz Y.
Haziyah
————
Irsyad
————
Jaclyn♦
Jamie
Jason
Jia Hao
Jiekie
Jian Sheng
Jiayi
Jun Rong (JR)
————
Ken
————
Lee Ying
Leon
————
Marcus
————
Naqiah*
————
Pearline♦
Pei Jun
————
Radhi
Razin
Ratna
————
Saiful
Sani
Sarah
Shakila
Sherin (Yi Xin)
Shikin
Shi Min
Shu Min
Sya
Syakirah
————
Wei Wei
Wendy
Weng Hon
————
Yi Xuan (Shiin)
Yue Han
The Other Side Of D
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// Misc*
My Past Entries (2003 *February* - 2005 *January*)
March 2005 ;
April 2005 ;
May 2005 ;
June 2005 ;
July 2005 ;
August 2005 ;
September 2005 ;
October 2005 ;
November 2005 ;
December 2005 ;
January 2006 ;
February 2006 ;
March 2006 ;
April 2006 ;
May 2006 ;
June 2006 ;
July 2006 ;
August 2006 ;
September 2006 ;
October 2006 ;
November 2006 ;
December 2006 ;
January 2007 ;
February 2007 ;
March 2007 ;
April 2007 ;
May 2007 ;
June 2007 ;
July 2007 ;
August 2007 ;
September 2007 ;
October 2007 ;
November 2007 ;
December 2007 ;
January 2008 ;
February 2008 ;
March 2008 ;
April 2008 ;
May 2008 ;
June 2008 ;
July 2008 ;
August 2008 ;
September 2008 ;
October 2008 ;
November 2008 ;
December 2008 ;
January 2009 ;
February 2009 ;
March 2009 ;
April 2009 ;
May 2009 ;
June 2009 ;
July 2009 ;
August 2009 ;
September 2009 ;
October 2009 ;
December 2009 ;
January 2010 ;
March 2010 ;
May 2010 ;
August 2010 ;
October 2010 ;
December 2010 ;
March 2011 ;
September 2011 ;
December 2011 ;
April 2012 ;
+*-*+